"How I Spent £22k on Filler and a Boob Job to Look Like Barbie—Only to Discover My Hidden Autism Was the Real Issue"

FOR as long as she could remember, Danielle Bryce had hated everything about herself.

Struggling with her body image into adulthood, she went on to spend £22k on facial filler and a boob job.

Danielle Bryce spent an eye-watering £22,000 on transforming herself into a Barbie doll Credit: Kennedy News Despite all these tweaks, the 44-year-old, from Doncaster, still didn’t feel happy in her skin Credit: Kennedy News

She refused to leave the house without a thick layer of and false lashes, with bleach-blonde hair and nail extensions completing her look.

Despite all these tweaks, the 44-year-old mum of seven, from Doncaster, still didn’t feel happy in her skin.

Diagnosed with anxiety and , she couldn’t understand why medication and therapy failed to blunt the swirl of self-hatred and anxious thoughts. At her lowest ebb, she even contemplated suicide.

“I went through bouts of not wanting to be here and thinking: ‘Why is life so hard for me?’ – and not having any answers,” Danielle says.

It wasn’t until January 2025, aged 43, that Danielle was finally diagnosed with – a diagnosis that, she says, saved her life.

is a condition people are born with that affects how they feel things and interact with the world.

Presentations can vary, but they may find socialising confusing or tiring, get overwhelmed in loud or busy spaces, develop intense interests, prefer order and routine, and use repeated actions to calm down.

There are at least 700,000 autistic adults and children in the UK, according to the National Autistic Society. It’s thought to be more common in boys, with girls often diagnosed later – missing out on opportunities for early support.

Many learn to hide their discomfort to fit in, known as ”masking”.

This may be why girls are diagnosed later, says Dr Selina Warlow, a psychologist specialising in autism and at The Nook Neurodevelopmental Clinic.

“Girls often present differently to boys, with more subtle traits that can be overlooked, as many become highly skilled at masking their social difficulties,” she explains.

“This might include copying others’ social behaviour, rehearsing conversations, forcing eye contact or suppressing natural behaviours. While masking can help someone fit in, it is often exhausting and can sometimes lead to anxiety, stress and burnout.”

Signs of autism in adult women can also include social exhaustion despite appearing socially capable, sensory sensitivities, a strong need for routine, intense interests, feeling different from others and chronic burnout.

“As awareness of how autism presents in girls has improved, we’re now seeing more women identified later in life, after years of being misunderstood or misdiagnosed,” says Selina.

Danielle can’t remember a time when she didn’t feel , but says it became clear she was different to others in the classroom.

“Going to school terrified me. I hated it – the environment, the lights, the noises. I couldn’t concentrate and I couldn’t learn,” she recalls.

Danielle first had filler at 28 Credit: Kennedy News Danielle often hid how she really felt in order to seem more social or outgoing Credit: Kennedy News

“At 12, I went to school with 13 pairs of tights on because I thought my legs were too skinny.”

It started off with other kids taking the mick, calling her “sparrowlegs”.

Danielle says: “When you’ve got a highly sensitive child that doesn’t understand why she doesn’t fit in, name-calling doesn’t feel like a joke.”

She also became “hyper-vigilant” about her crooked , hiding her mouth with her hand whenever she smiled.

“Research suggests that autistic girls and women may be more likely to experience body image concerns and body dissatisfaction,” says Selina.

“While body dysmorphia is not a feature of autism itself, autistic women can develop a difficult relationship with their bodies. Some have a longstanding sense of feeling different from peers without understanding why, leading them to believe that changing their body will help to feel more accepted.”

There were other signs of Danielle’s , too – she chewed her fingers until they bled, felt “tortured” by the textures of certain foods and had meltdowns that saw her diagnosed with anxiety and depression. “I was overstimulated and overwhelmed, and I didn’t understand my own mind,” she says.

Danielle often hid how she really felt in order to seem more social or outgoing. “I would adapt even down to silly things. I’d pretend I liked a certain type of music to fit into a group,” she says.

I was always comparing myself to others and I was never happy in my own skin, says Danielle Credit: Kennedy News In 2020, Danielle reached a low point when she contemplated suicide Credit: Kennedy News

“As I got older, I looked for male validation. I learned very quickly that my appearance was something I could control.”

Danielle first had filler at 28. “I got massive lips, cheek and jawline fillers. I looked insane,” she says. She spent around £17k on tweaks in total, and a further £5k on a in 2017.

“Having my breast augmentation was another way of transforming myself to be more likeable,” Danielle says.

“I was always comparing myself to others and I was never happy in my own skin. As well as a thick face of make-up, I’d always have claw nails and look like a Barbie doll. I’d bleach my hair and cover it with thick extensions. I wanted people to look at me and think: ‘She looks so good.’”

Instead, her looks garnered attention from sleazy men, as well as cruel jibes.

“People around me were like: ‘What are you doing?’ It just looked like I was self-centred, when actually I was anything but that,” she remembers.
By then married with kids, in 2020 Danielle reached a low point when she contemplated suicide.

“I was drinking heavily and had a mental breakdown,” she says.

“I wasn’t being the mum I should be. My whole life fell apart – and then I got my diagnosis.”

Danielle stopped bleaching her hair and rarely wears make-up – and now feels like she’s fully herself Credit: Kennedy News

The tipping point came in 2024, when Danielle’s youngest daughter was diagnosed with autism, aged two.

“Bum shuffling and moving her limbs in sync for hours at a time was the first sign,” Danielle says.

She then began wondering if she too had autism, and recalls sobbing when she was given the news the following year.

“All my life, I have hated myself. You feel angry at everybody, like: ‘How could you miss this?’ I had all those years suffering without knowing the reason why.”

But she says she also felt relief. “To have an explanation gives you self-compassion. You stop hating yourself so much and have lots more self-love.”

Within two months, Danielle decided to dissolve all the filler in her face. “I just wanted to be me again,” she says.

“You have to learn who you are – you’ve masked for so long you don’t know where the mask ends and you begin. That filler had been part of me for 15 years. I felt relief and I also felt compassion for myself. It was really overwhelming.”

She also stopped bleaching her hair and rarely wears make-up – and now feels like she’s fully herself.

Looking back, Danielle says: “I wish I’d known about autism. My life would have looked very different and it would have saved me from a lot of hardship. Getting diagnosed was life-changing. It’s the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I advocate for myself quite fiercely now, because I think: ‘What am I demonstrating to my autistic daughter? What am I teaching her?’”