ASHLEIGH Conwell had just found out she was pregnant with not one, not two, but three babies.
The mum-to-be and her husband Matt were thrilled by the news and deeply in love as they began to plan their new life as .
Ashleigh and Matt Conwell on their wedding dayCredit: Facebook
Ashleigh found out she was pregnant with triplets just before her husband had a tragic accident that cost him his lifeCredit: Youtube
Ashleigh was 29 at the time and says the pair were ‘deeply in love’ but her fairytale life was about to shatter.
“Everyone has a story from 2020. You hear that year, and you just go, ugh,” Ashleigh said.
For her, she was about to experience as her partner Matt would be taken from her in a tragic accident.
Ashleigh’s father-in-law had passed away from an aggressive cancer back in January of 2020, before Ashleigh was then let go from her job as the Covid altered the world.
But six months later, in June, she and Matt had a glimmer of hope when they found out they were pregnant.
“We were delighted. We’d been trying for a little while, we had been married for a few years, the timing felt right,” Ashleigh told Mamamia .
“It was honestly such a joyful moment, particularly in a time when there was so much heaviness in the world.”
When the ultrasound came, the pair realised they were having triplets.
While they realised three children would be financially and practically hard to navigate, they were delighted by the news.
“We felt so lucky. We now get to welcome three . What a blessing,” Ashleigh said. “It really felt like this was meant to be. This was our story.”
Now Ashleigh has opened up about navigating grief as she raised her childrenCredit: Facebook In August of the same year, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary, Ashleigh had no idea it would be the last one they spent together.
She was 17-weeks pregnant at the time, when Matt went about his typical routine and went for a morning run.
“One day, Matt went out for his usual morning run, and he didn’t come home,” she recalled.
“He was hit by a car and, in an instant, my life completely changed.
Where to seek grief support
Need professional help with grief?
- Child Bereavement UK Childbereavementuk.org
- Cruse Bereavement Cruse.org.uk
- Relate Relate.org.uk
- The Good Grief Trust Thegoodgrieftrust.org
- You can also always speak to your GP if you’re struggling.
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- Griefcast: Cariad Lloyd interviews comedians on this award-winning podcast.
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“Overnight, I became a widow. It’s a title you never expect. Especially not at 29 years of age and especially not 17 weeks pregnant with triplets.”
Ashleigh’s life had turned upside down as she tried to deal with the grief of her husband’s death while preparing to be a mum to three babies.
While family and friends dropped everything to be with Ashleigh, she said the world went on after the , leaving her to navigate her new reality alone.
The following year her triplets were born in January, but just 12 days later, Ashleigh’s grandfather passed away.
“Becoming a mother is hard enough. But becoming a mother to three newborns in the NICU, while navigating immeasurable grief, is a specific kind of terror,” she said.
“Everything I went through at that time was hard in isolation, but doing it all together was… a lot.”
While many tried to help Ashleigh, she of course, struggled to raise three children while grieving.
It was then she decided to start her own , Yellow Falcon.
Ashleigh has now become a public speaker to help others who are dealing with becoming a widow.
She also offers The Confident Widow online course and checklist designed to guide widows through the unbearable mental load of loss.
Five years on, Ashleigh’s life looks completely different to the one she imagined.
“The other day I was looking at a photo from my last wedding anniversary with Matt, and I was stopped in my tracks. I don’t recognise that girl,” she said.
“I’m very different. I’ve been through a lot. I’ve had to mature a lot. I’ve had conversations I should never have had to have.”
“I will never be that person again. I’m creating new joy, but I will never be the same.”
