"After Countless Betrayals, I Embraced Celibacy in the UK's Affair Hotspot"

WITH its leafy streets, soaring spires and bookish reputation, the UK’s infidelity hotspot doesn’t exactly scream sex and scandal.

But behind the curtains of the smart townhouses and plush, Grade II-listed hotels, its lusty residents are in the grip of a cheating epidemic, sparking a demand for a very unexpected service.

One woman who understands the city’s dark underbelly all too well is admin assistant Jessica who fell victim to cheating men (stock photo)Credit: Getty Private Investigator Tim Burchell has caught out more than a hundred cheaters in Oxford over the past ten years (stock photo)Credit: Getty

And no, we’re not talking tests at the local STI clinic.

While you might expect Oxford’s big-brained boffins to be raking it in, it is who are cleaning up in the UK’s oldest university city.

Recent data from UK Private Investigators reveals infidelity-related searches are more than double the national average, with PIs more in demand here than anywhere else.

On the surface, the picturesque streets and multi-million-pound make seem idyllic.

The average income is £41,800, yet behind the beautiful sandstone walls, life is not all it seems.

One woman who understands Oxford’s dark underbelly all too well is admin assistant Jessica.

She first fell victim to the city’s four decades ago. On one particularly painful occasion, she found out her partner of six years, Daniel, was doing the dirty after opening a packet of freshly developed photographs.

Inside was a snap of him locked in a clinch with a stunning blonde.
It was the third time loyal Jessica had been cheated on – but it wasn’t the last.

Jessica, now 64, has sworn herself off men for good and lives a life of

And it’s all because infidelity in Oxford is so commonplace.

“In my experience, Oxford is full of men with big egos and deep pockets doing what they like,” she reveals.

“I’ve been in with students, Oxford dons and businessmen – and they all cheated on me.

“There is definitely a sense of entitlement in the city. Lots of people here are very intelligent and very wealthy, and there’s a sense they can do exactly as they please.”

‘Cheaters think they are invincible’

Private Investigator Tim Burchell, 57, has caught out more than a hundred cheaters in Oxford over the past ten years and says in 98 per cent of cases, the partner’s suspicions were right.

He charges £1,000 for a three-day .

“There are three main factors in Oxford: , power and ego,” he says.

“Sometimes we’ve found evidence of people cheating in as little as 30 minutes.

“People here can be quite brazen about taking lovers to hotels and restaurants really close to their homes.”

And it isn’t just men having affairs.

“I remember following one woman for days. Her husband was convinced she was seeing someone else, but she was just going to the gym.

“Then, one day, she hopped into a waiting cab with an older man.

Psychologist Charlotte says it doesn’t surprise her that wealthy and arrogant people in Oxford are having affairsCredit: Damien McFadden Jessica has sworn herself off men for good and lives a life of enforced celibacy (stock photo)Credit: Getty Just as Jessica began to regain her trust in Oxford’s men, history repeated itself and another wealthy man cheated on herCredit: Getty

“I followed them to some woodland where they disappeared for ten minutes, then came out looking dishevelled.

“The cheaters think they are invincible, but it’s heartbreaking for their partners when I have to confirm their worst fears.”

Jessica moved to Oxford from her native Northumbria in the late 1980s to study Biology at prestigious , and quickly fell in love with the city.

But she also fell for a fellow student, who would go on to break her heart.

“Alan was my first proper boyfriend – he was gorgeous, and I adored him,” she recalls.

“We’d been together for a few months when my friend said she’d heard rumours he’d been sleeping with an ex.

“I was devastated. I’d never been betrayed like that before, and the thought of him being with someone else made me feel sick.

“He begged me to come back, but I refused.”

We’d been together for a few months when my friend said she’d heard rumours he’d been sleeping with an ex. I was devastated.

Jessica

Five years later, Jessica dated a man who worked at the university.

“A year into our relationship, he grew increasingly distant, and I became suspicious,” she says.

“Eventually, my hairdresser told me he’d admitted to an affair, so I packed my bags and left.”

By the mid-Nineties, Jessica thought she’d finally found the one in wealthy solicitor Daniel.

The pair moved in together, but Daniel began taking multiple work trips abroad.

It was the roll of which Jessica had developed that confirmed she’d been cheated on – again.

“Deep down, I knew what I was going to find, but when I saw those pictures, my whole world came crashing down,” she says.

“He admitted the affair and said he was sorry. But I couldn’t forgive him.”

Newsagent Hiten Patel agrees and says ‘there’s a lot of people with power and influence in Oxford’Credit: Damien McFadden Jo, 57, who is married to Rich, says: ‘The whole city has a bit of a fairytale-ish feel about it, so maybe that makes it easy for people to follow their hearts’Credit: Damien McFadden In 2015, a YouGov survey found that 20 per cent of Brits admitted to having cheated on a partner (stock photo)Credit: Getty

A supportive colleague, Pete, asked Jessica out to dinner, and their friendship soon blossomed into romance.

But just as Jessica began to regain her trust in Oxford’s men, repeated itself.

“He was a high-flying creative who doted on me,” she says. “But after many years together, he became extra guarded over his phone.

“In my heart of hearts, I knew there was someone else. He was like a cat on a hot tin roof, jumping out of his skin every time it beeped. He also mentioned a girl from work a lot.

“When I confronted him, he said I was being paranoid, and we even went for joint counselling, but I couldn’t get over my suspicions, and it drove us apart.

“I realised later that some of our close friends had known about the affair, but had stayed silent. This hurt so deeply.

“I’ve moved on, but I am off men for good – certainly ones from Oxford,” adds Jessica, who has one daughter.

‘It’s easy to be with my lover’

In 2015, a YouGov survey found that 20 per cent of Brits admitted to having . But by 2024, a similar survey for World Population Review revealed that figure had shot up to 36 per cent.

analyst Martin, 36, has been having a fling with a colleague for more than a year and believes his wife will never find out.

“I’d never want to split up the family,” says Martin, who has two daughters.

“I work in three days a week, and I’d always fancied my colleague.

“Now, I’m in a hotel for two nights, and it’s easy to be with my lover in London and then come home and block it out when I’m around my family.”

Relationship Counsellor Simone Bell, who works regularly with clients in Oxfordshire, says Martin’s story is not uncommon.

“Living in an affluent area like Oxford does often make it easier for people to have affairs,” she explains.

“And when people work away from home, obviously, affairs become a lot easier for both parties.”

Meanwhile, Martin has no qualms about continuing his sneaky double life.

“I see myself as two different people,” he says.

“I don’t see how my wife would ever find out.”

• Some names have been changed.