SLUMPING onto the bed after a long day, mum-of-two Charlotte Dodds just wants to relax in front of the TV like any other busy parent.
But the moment she is alone, she begins suffering with an incredibly upsetting condition that she is unable to stop or control – and it’s made her life utter hell.
Charlotte Dodds, 35, suffers from a debilitating condition which sees her compulsively pull out her hair
Charlotte has been pulling her hair out for two decades, leaving her with a bald patch on her crown
It’s a very subconscious habit, like nail biting, and I only do it when I am alone, she reveals
As she watches she mindlessly uses a pair of tweezers to pluck the stubby brown hairs growing in a bald patch on the top of her head.
This short regrowth is attempting to come through after her almost daily pulling sessions.
“Even though I use tweezers, I’m almost not aware of myself going to pick them up,” admits the mum-of-two from Gateshead, Tyne and Wear.
“It’s a very subconscious habit, like , and I only do it when I am alone.
“I feel for short hairs coming through and have to pluck them.
“I find it quite relaxing, especially if I’ve had a busy or tough day.
“I can’t really explain it and I don’t know how to stop. If I could, I would.”
Charlotte, 35, has been out her for two decades, a habit she said made her feel like a “freak”.
It was only when she heard reality star talking about her habit of pulling out her eyelashes that she realised she was not alone.
She also learned the condition has a name – .
1.7 per cent of Brits – around 1.1 million people – are believed to suffer from the condition according to University of figures, with women accounting for 80-90 per cent of cases.
Stars including , and have admitted to struggling with it.
“It was like a lightbulb moment,” says Charlotte.
“For a long time, I thought it was a weird, freaky thing that only I did. It was a relief to know there were others like me.”
The reasons why certain people develop trichotillomania aren’t clear, but it can be linked to other conditions like , as well as stress.
However, Charlotte says there was no obvious trigger when she first began to uncontrollably pull out her hair as a teenager.
“It started when I was about 14 and coming up to start my ,” she explains.
“I don’t even remember it beginning, really. There wasn’t a specific reason I can recall, no specific stress or incidents. I have no idea why I did it.
“Back then I did not realise it was a condition. I would just find piles of hair on my bedroom floor and not really know how they got there.
Back then I did not realise it was a condition. I would just find piles of hair on my bedroom floor and not really know how they got there
“I pulled at the hair all over my head by twisting it out with my hands. I also obsessively plucked my eyebrows.”
As heavily-plucked brows were in fashion at the time, Charlotte says her habit wasn’t immediately obvious.
“People just assumed I’d just overdone the plucking,” she says.
“I look back at photos of me as a teenager and it is very obvious, but I couldn’t see it at the time.
“Some sufferers pull at their eyelashes, but luckily this has never been a thing for me.
For the last year, Charlotte has used keratin hair-thickening fibres that she shakes onto her head to cover the area
She also reveals she now only uses tweezers as she ‘wants to pull out the shortest hairs’
Charlotte had a compulsion to pull her hair out
“I don’t remember my parents saying much about it either. They probably saw hair on the floor and told me to stop messing with mine all the time.
“Luckily, because I pulled it out all over back then, it was less noticeable that lots of it was missing.”
‘Lot of shame’
When Charlotte reached 18 and left , the hair-pulling stopped almost as mysteriously as it started.
“I didn’t consciously try not to do it,” she says. “The compulsion tailed off and went away.
“I barely noticed it – my hair just grew back and I left it alone.
“I’d kept it long until that point as it was easier to disguise missing strands. Stopping meant I was able to have shorter styles.”
But in 2014, Charlotte’s hair-pulling restarted after she told her partner, Pawel, 40, about her former compulsion when they were chatting on a flight.
FYI
Trichotillomania – ‘trich’ for short – is a body-focused repetitive behaviour (BFRB) like dermatillomania (skin picking) and onychophagia (nail biting).
Clinical studies suggest that sufferers are 80 per cent female, with the onset predominantly happening in the teen years and half never seeking treatment.
Triggers for the disorder can be sensory, emotional or automatic, with people often unaware or in a trance-like state when pulling.
It often crosses over with conditions like anxiety, ADHD, and , but around a fifth of sufferers purely have trich.
“Again, there was no obviously stressful life event, it just came up in conversation and talking about it almost reignited my brain’s desire to do it,” she says.
“But it has changed and now I only use tweezers, because I want to pull out the shortest hairs and I can’t use my fingers for that.
“It’s always on the same area of my head, just to the left of my crown, which means I have a noticeable bald patch that is hard to hide.
“I feel very self-conscious about it.
“I used to work in hospitality and it’s a blunt industry. I remember one colleague blurting out: ‘Do you know you have a bald patch?’
“I just said ‘yes’ and didn’t explain any more, because barely anyone has heard of my condition.”
Charlotte avoided going to the hairdresser for years as she was too embarrassed.
“Now, a girl I went to school with does it. She knows my situation, so doesn’t make a thing of it,” she says.
“I have to keep my hair long so that I can put it up and cover it when I’m out. I rarely leave the house with it down.
“I’ve also stopped over-plucking my eyebrows since having them microbladed.
“For me, the hardest time is when we go on holiday as a family, as it’s difficult to hide it when you’re in the pool and your hair is wet.”
For a long time, I thought it was a weird, freaky thing that only I did. It was a relief to know there were others like me
For the last year, Charlotte – who has son Oscar, nine, and daughter Sofia, five – has used keratin hair-thickening fibres that she shakes onto her head to cover the area.
“It’s given me a lot more confidence,” says Charlotte, who runs Cakes by Oscar and Baking Bosses, which supports others wanting to enter the baking industry.
“I’d love to stop for good, but support for sufferers of trichotillomania is very limited.
“I tried to speak to my years ago, but they seemed confused and all they could suggest was talking therapy.
“But there’s a long waiting list and I don’t know what that would solve, as I don’t feel there’s a specific cause.
“I keep reading it’s a mental health condition, but I don’t have , or anything stressful that might cause it. For me, it’s more of a self-soothing habit.”
Charlotte is now on a waiting list for assessment and believes there is a chance her condition could be linked to that.
“I’ve been in some support groups, too,” she says. “There are a few people who have managed to get it under control, which is inspiring.
“It’s like or – it’s an addiction, a compulsion.
“There are times when it really gets me down. I’d love to be able to cut my hair into a shorter, more manageable style.
“There is a lot of shame around this condition, which is why I’m posing for photographs and talking openly about it today.
“It was a scary thing to do, but I don’t want to hide it away any longer.”
Charlotte is on a waiting list for ADHD assessment and believes there is a chance her condition could be linked to that 
