Why politics is actually a lot like Love Island – & how Britain’s new political power couple can avoid giving us the ick

POLITICS is actually a lot like Love Island. That sounds bonkers, but hear me out.

In , you are trying to win over the public. If you give them the “ick”, then they will vote you off pretty sharpish.

And you win as a couple — you need to find the right match to land the prize.

Well, the same is true of politics.

Britain’s greatest governments have revolved around a power couple: The Prime Minister and their Chancellor.

At their best, they dominate politics and reshape the economy. At their worst, they drag each other down into infamy, or obscurity.

and Nigel Lawson’s policies of tax cuts and deregulation transformed Britain from the sick man of Europe into a financial powerhouse.

and pro-business brand of New led to a decade of growth while pouring cash into our creaking public services.

and rebuilt the UK’s finances in the wake of the 2008 global economic crash and modernised a woefully out-of-touch

Even and Kwasi Kwarteng will go down in history together — in failure thanks to their disastrous mini Budget.

Britain has a new political power couple in town: and .

But they are not like these double acts who came before them.

They have not spent years joined at the hip, swapping ideas and practising their political preaching on each other in cramped, paper-strewn offices in Parliament.

So what kind of partnership will Burnham and Healey be? And how will history judge them?

At first glance, they seem like polar opposites.

Burnham is the charismatic Northerner who is all good vibes. A people pleaser, he is far better at spending money than saving it.

Whereas Healey is a nice but slightly dour Yorkshireman who doesn’t really do upbeat.

Take his speech on Monday, his first as Chancellor. Healey told us that, under his stewardship, we would see “growth in every postcode and hope in every heart”.

But he sounded more like an undertaker asking a bereaved family which flowers they would like at the funeral service.

A lesson in caution, it was packed with phrases like “fiscal discipline” and “fiscal credibility”.

It was in stark contrast to Burnham’s promises at Prime Minister’s Questions on Wednesday.

In a jaw-dropping intervention, . He painted a picture of a rose-tinted future where we could have defence spending, high payments and the biggest council house building programme in a generation all at the same time. Just don’t ask him how he would pay for it!

Burnham serves up lashings of cake and makes sweeping promises, but can he keep them? Whereas Healey is more an “eat your greens” man.

But opposites attract, and perhaps that makes him the right pick. While the PM is promising the world, Healey can make sure the numbers stack up and the markets aren’t spooked.

Their success depends on what they do next.

First, they must find the cash needed to protect our nation — who resigned as Defence Secretary earlier this year.

Second, they must curb welfare spending. Not through wishful thinking or the appointment of a few more job centre staff or mental health counsellors, but proper reform.

We must end the grotesque chaos of a benefits system which hands out , and condemns them to the jobs scrapheap. Third, Labour must stop thinking the answer to everything is tax.

They must find a formula to inject some desperately-needed confidence and innovation into our businesses.

Hope comes when parents see their kids get jobs better than theirs, when workers take home a decent pay rise at the end of the year and when shop tills are ringing.

If Burnham and Healey want to be a couple that stands the test of time, they must prove they can breathe new life into our economy and reform our unwieldy state.

If they fail and give us the “ick”, they face being dumped from the island

Look up for top TV

THE groundbreaking TV series next week for its tenth and final instalment – and I’m excited.

For those who don’t know, this is one of the best shows ever made.

Launched in 1964, it follows a diverse group of seven-year-olds and revisits them every seven years to document their development.

The premise was taken from the Jesuit motto, “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man”.

So we were introduced to some distinctly different kids.

There were the silver-spooned boys at the expensive private prep school.

The three working-class girls from London’s East End. And the two boys in a children’s home.

Would their lives turn out the way we expected?

What followed was a captivating, enlightening and deeply-moving docuseries – renamed each time to reflect the age of the subjects at the time of filming ­– that only now, more than 60 years later, is coming to a close. It’s made by Granada for ITV.

But the BBC should take note.

Our licence fee should be spent producing shows like this.

Not just another series of Homes Under The Hammer.

Nigel’s in cig league

I CAN reveal that has been dogged by a scurrilous rumour – that he is trying to give up cigarettes.

The party boss is perhaps Britain’s most famous smoker.

He can often be found on Parliament’s outside terrace bar quickly sparking up between votes. Three separate Westminster insiders have told me that he is trying to kick the habit.

But the claims have been vehemently denied by his team, who insist Nigel is still enjoying his fags. This actually might be a smear campaign by the establishment!

Street appeal

BOSSY Britain has struck again.

This time in Exmouth Market, a buzzy street in London’s Clerkenwell, which is packed with bars and cafes.

The place has been booming since tables and chairs were put outside during Covid.

But killjoy council officers have threatened to fine traders £800 unless they remove some of the outside tables.

This is madness.

How can we expect Britain to grow if serving a G&T and a few nibbles in the sunshine is going to be met with the strong arm of the law?

The council should back down immediately. Or voters might tell them to pack up and leave.

Yes, Di looked a million dollars

famous revenge dress is up for auction in the US – and here are experts’ top tips to catch £1million.

She wore the off-the-shoulder Christina Stambolian design to London’s Serpentine Gallery – just four hours after estranged husband then Prince admitted to cheating on her.

Every girl knows the worth of a sexy little black dress and Diana looked a million bucks in hers – but could be worth the cash.

IT IS 30 years since burst on to the music scene with Wannabe.

And to celebrate the original girl power group, they have announced they are releasing never-before-heard demos from their time in the studio.

Hooray, who doesn’t want to hear another 90s pop banger?

But if Posh, Ginger, Scary, Sporty and Baby are reading this, I have one more request.

Please, please, please can you do a reunion tour? That really would spice up my life.

WHAT is up with the lax security at French museums?

making off with many of the priceless French crown jewels.

And now two paintings by the impressionist Renoir have been stolen from a museum in the Riviera.

I’m starting to think that Emmanuel Macron only lent us Brits the to keep it from being nicked!

WOKE up earlier this week, put the radio on and dragged myself to the kitchen to make my morning coffee.

When I returned to my bedroom – mug in hand – the headlines were warning me that

I nearly turned the radio off and went straight back to sleep again.