MATT Willis has praised his wife, Strictly host Emma, for saving his life after he descended into a devastating battle with drink and drug addiction.
At his lowest ebb, the singer would have seizures if he hadn’t had an alcoholic drink before noon and it took four rehab stints before Matt, 43, managed to get sober.
, who he met in 2004 and married four years later, became his rock.
“I put her through some really tough times and I never meant to,” explains in an exclusive interview to mark World Mental Health Day tomorrow.
“But Emma and I are in a really, really good place, and we have been for a while.
“It was just I couldn’t control something that was happening to me and I didn’t know how to stop.
“However much I loved her and I didn’t want her to be affected by it, I didn’t know how to stop. And if I could have, I would have many, many times.”
Matt says he chose to in a bid to show people that help is out there.
Matt adds: “I think asking for help is the bravest thing someone can do. I really do.
“Vulnerability is a real strength, and it’s a really powerful part of someone.”
Recalling how Emma – the , Isabelle, Ace, and Trixie – stood by him, Matt explains: “She never gave up on me.
“I don’t think I ever chose to be an addict.
“I never woke up one morning—and I don’t think anyone wakes up and goes, ‘I know, I really want to be a drug addict.’
“It’s something that accumulates over time and then it’s very, very difficult to get out of. Emma could see that, and she could see that I was hurting, and she was willing to support me through it.
“The fact she did that is the most amazing thing that’s happened in my life.”
As well as speaking publicly about his addictions, wrote a book, Mending, out now, to document his ongoing recovery.
He says: “I couldn’t make it to 12 o’clock without having or I’d have some kind of seizure… I wouldn’t know what that was.
“I just suddenly woke up and realised something had happened.
“I never really counted how much I was drinking. I would drink all day, every day.”
From the outside, it looked like Matt had it all as part of Busted, travelling the world on sold-out tours and landing eight top-ten singles with hits including Crashed The Wedding, Air Hostess and Sleeping With The Light On.
But while he was living the high life, his relationship with drink and was anything but.
He says: “When it came to drinking and drugs, it was very rarely glamorous. It was mostly dark and horrible.
“And every time, however, the image of it would be in my head—that’ll be really cool and rock and roll—it never was that. It was always horrible. It was always dark.
“It always ended up in exactly the same place every single time, which is me using uncontrollably on my own.”
He adds: “My life is mine and my family’s, and that’s kind of the overriding thing that drives me forward.
“I don’t really care about fame and stuff like that anymore, but I think when you’re early in it, everything’s about being as successful as possible.
“With music, when things start to go well, you start making a lot of people . And then it’s very hard to kind of jump off a moving train.”
As well as the support of his family, Matt credits therapy sessions with helping him clear his mind and says back in March.
Matt adds: “I think anyone that feels like they need to do therapy should.
Emma’s definitely benefited from it.
“We went to couples , and it was amazing for our . It was incredible. And we weren’t in trouble when we went.
“We weren’t going through a really bad time.We just had a few things that we kind of couldn’t really seem to get to understand each other on.”
Keen to help others seek help if they need it, Matt said: “I think once you make a decision that you need some help, reaching out to someone is the first step.
“When I did reach out for help, I was only met with love and compassion.
“I think most people would be surprised at what happens when they reach out.
“We kind of build it up in our minds that people will think we’re needy or weak or whatever goes through our head, but actually, it’s quite the opposite.
“Everyone is going through something. You have those battles in your own head. Sometimes I have these thoughts, and through therapy, I’ve learned that I am not my thoughts.
“Sometimes my brain gets it a little bit wrong. It’s made me be able to like myself more, rather than thinking that because I have these bad thoughts, I’m a bad person.”
- Mending: Busted, Breaking and Getting Better by Matt Willis published by Quercus (an imprint of John Murray Group) is out now in hardback, eBook and audio.
- If you need support for yourself or others visit Mind.org.uk and forwardtrust.org.uk for more information.
