WATCHING herself on the screen, Gemma Laidler shivered as she re-lived one of the most nightmarish nights of her life.
The distressing home CCTV footage shows thug, Ryan Grundy, pinning the care worker to her bed, before squeezing his hands around her neck.
Gemma Laidler was the victim of violent attacks at the hands of her ex partner Ryan GrundyCredit: HotSpot Media
Horrifying footage from her dog-cam captured him strangling her on their bedCredit: HotSpot Media
As he finally releases his grip 40-year-old Gemma’s chilling screams echo out.
The horrifying assault was one of a series of videos captured by cameras she’d installed to keep an eye on her pooches as she worked.
The harrowing footage saw Grundy, 35, locked up for 14 months for non-fatal strangulation, ABH, harassment and two counts of common assaults.
Now Gemma, from Newcastle, has bravely shared the videos to help raise awareness of domestic abuse.
She says: “Ryan was a monster who made my life hell.
“For years I put up with his abuse.
“I thought I could help him but he’ll always be a thug.
“Now I want other women to use Clare’s Law, which allows women to request information about their partner’s criminal history, to protect themselves.”
Gemma met Grundy in April 2021 and she says that at first, he acted like a gentleman and made a good impression on her family.
Soon, the pair became inseparable and within three months, he’d moved into her house.
But shortly after moving in Gemma claims that she saw a change in Grundy’s behaviour.
Gemma says: “The cracks began to show pretty quickly.
“He began drinking heavily and when he didn’t get his own way, he’d bully me.
“He would often throw his phone on the floor in a rage, or punch my doors.
“For days at a time he’d give me the silent treatment and made me think it was my fault.”
Gemma had dog cameras installed so she could check on her pooches while she worked long hours as a carer and Grundy was aware of this.
The following year, in August 2022, he slapped Gemma in the face during an argument.
She says: “I was so scared, I locked myself in the bedroom with my dogs.”
Gemma says her relationship with Grundy moved quickly but there were soon red flagsCredit: HotSpot Media
She was left with a huge lump on her forehead after Grundy head-butted herCredit: HotSpot Media
The footage captured Grundy hitting Gemma during argumentsCredit: HotSpot Media
The next day, Grundy called her ‘fat’, punched her bedroom door and pushed her face onto the bed.
When she got back up he lunged at her again, shoving her to the bed once more.
Gemma says: “I screamed at him to leave and he wrapped both his hands around my neck.
“As he squeezed tightly, I thought I was going to die.
“Looking at his face, his eyes were black with rage.”
Thankfully, Gemma managed to kick him off her but claims that he later threatened to strangle himself with the dog lead.
Gemma says: “He always threatened to kill himself to make me feel sorry for him.
“I was in such a cycle of abuse I didn’t know how to break it.
“He always manipulated his way out of it and I’d forgive him.”
As well as physical abuse Grundy subjected Gemma to verbal abuseCredit: HotSpot Media
Grundy, 35, was jailed for 14 months for non-fatal strangulation, ABH, harassment and two counts of common assaultsCredit: HotSpot Media
Two months on, in October, Grundy flipped again and shoved Gemma across the living room.
She was able to phone the police and two officers attended.
Gemma explains: “I decided not to press charges, I hoped a night in a cell would sort him out.”
But Grundy’s violence continued.
In April 2023, during an argument, terrified Gemma locked herself in her bedroom again with her dogs.
Too frightened to leave, she claims she was forced to wee in a bin.
She says: “It was so awful.
“Looking back I can’t believe what I had to do to avoid his rage.”
Three months later, Grundy is seen on home CCTV hitting Gemma across the face, before head butting her.
Seconds later, he returns from the kitchen, clutching a knife.
Gemma says: “He held it to his neck and threatened to slit his throat before he started following me around with it.
Domestic abuse - how to get help
DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence.
Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship:
- Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to
- Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you
- Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten.
- Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent.
If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers:
- The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night
- Men who are being abused can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244
- Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428
- If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999
Remember, you are not alone.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime.
Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse.
“I begged him not to do it.”
She managed to alert a neighbour who called the police.
Grundy was arrested but granted bail yet he breached his conditions and contacted Gemma.
For a month, including Christmas that year, he sent hundreds of emails, pleading with her to take him back.
She says: “When I didn’t respond, he threatened to kill himself and called me a ‘fat c***’.
“It was awful. I was terrified he’d come and finish me off.”
At the end of December 2023, Gemma finally confessed all of his abuse to the police, handing over her home footage that was used as evidence against him.
In November 2024 he was jailed.
Gemma attended his sentencing, bravely reading her victim impact statement.
She says: “I’m relieved he got time behind bars for what he did.
“Now I’m using my voice to help others and sharing my experience on social media.
“A girl messaged me the other night to say she had recently got out a relationship and she was thinking of taking him back but she’s been watching my videos and it’s given her strength.
“I could let that horrible experience ruin my life or I could turn it into something positive.
“So I choose the latter.”
Gemma is now using her voice to help other victims of domestic abuseCredit: HotSpot Media
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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