WHEN Sophie’s husband told her he wanted a divorce so he could live life as a woman, she thought it was a late April Fool’s joke.
But her partner of 26 years was telling the truth – claiming he’d known he had always wanted to identify as female ever since the age of 19.
The 41-year-old “trans widow”;; was left stunned by the revelation – while she says her ex never instigated sex, she believed the couple had always had a normal marriage otherwise.
After breaking the news to her and moving out of the marital home, she says just two days later, he started wearing female clothing and wigs.
*Sophie, from , , said: “In my eyes, my husband is a ‘he’. I don’t want to offend anybody by using the wrong pronouns.
“I’m a ‘trans widow’, my husband’s identity has died, so therefore I’m a widow to the person who I thought I was with.
“He called me out in the garden away from the and said, ‘I need to leave this and live my life as a woman’.
“I told him we have children together and laughed, I thought he was joking.
“It was the beginning of April and I said ‘this has to be a late April Fool’s joke.’
“But he said he was deadly serious and if he doesn’t do this now, he never will.
“I just went into absolute meltdown mode. I remember sitting in my car and crying for hours and hours.”;;
Phone bombshell
While the bombshell rocked Sophie’s family, it was just the start – the truth about his alleged seedy online behaviour was later uncovered by a series of bizarre phone calls.
Five months after the split, the full-time mum said she started receiving calls from strangers asking if she was “working”;; and when she quizzed one bloke about what he meant, he admitted “sex stuff”;;.
Exasperated, Sophie demanded to know where one caller got her number from and was stunned when he sent her a text of what appeared to be her ex’s profile advertising sex services online.
The profile reads ‘hi guys I’m a 48 yr old trans woman out to give you a good time’, advertising prices ranging from £70 for 30 minutes up to £1,000 for an overnight visit.
Sophie’s ex was reportedly using her old mobile as a burner phone, unaware that she had left a voicemail message directing callers to her new number.
She told The Sun: “In September, I was on the run and I started getting phone calls asking whether or not I was working.
“I said ‘what do you mean working?’ and they said, ‘sex stuff’. I was absolutely gobsmacked.
“The next person that rang I asked, ‘Where did you get my number from?’ They sent me a screenshot of my ex-husband selling himself as a trans woman.
“He was using the mobile phone that I gave back to him as a burner phone, but didn’t realise I’d left a voice message saying to ring me on my new number.
[I thought] ‘Not only did you leave the family but you’re now selling yourself as a trans woman
Sophie
“[I thought] ‘Not only did you leave the , but you’re now selling yourself as a trans woman’.
“I stopped the children from seeing him because that’s not a safe environment to be in.
“He moved so quickly. He was wearing female clothes and wigs a couple days later when he moved out.”;;
‘Grieving process’
While the mum-of-three claims she doesn’t have an issue with how people choose to identify, she feels like the man she married has ‘died’.
“The person I knew has died and it’s a grieving process, but it feels like we’re not allowed to grieve.”;;
Sophie said it has massively affected how she approaches relationships, as she now struggles with trust issues.
Despite the request to divorce coming out of the blue in April 2020, Sophie admits their relationship felt more like a friendship – as her ex didn’t initiate sex.
While she admits she thought nobody would love her again, she said she is now in a new relationship and feels ‘lucky’ to find love.
Sophie said: “I have massive trust issues, it’s hard to trust what anybody says. It’s just very sad, it was heartbreaking.
“Once I found out he wanted to identify as a woman since the age of 19, things started clicking into place about our relationship.
“There were little things, he would never instigate sex, it was always me.
“That was tough and then there were little things missing in my house.
“Now I’ve realised he was taking my clothes and he admitted he had been wearing them and taking them to work.
“I still see that as deception. I see it as he was using me to hide his true self.
I have massive trust issues, it’s hard to trust what anybody says. It’s just very sad, it was heartbreaking
Sophie
“There were good moments but we were almost like friends, not lovers, it was almost like having a lodger in the house.
“I thought nobody would love me again. I have found love again which is beautiful and I’m lucky.
“I was absolutely scared to get into a new relationship. My trust issues are on the floor.
“I’m very much like, ‘do you still fancy me? Am I the person you want to be with?”;;
Sophie says she struggled to tell her children the reason for the divorce and aims to raise awareness about the children of parents who transition.
She says: “I really struggled to explain it to them, you have to be very careful with not alienating the parent.
“I wanted to make sure my feelings around what he’s done did not affect them.
“I said ‘Daddy has left because he is not happy with his body’.
“There are some questions that I can’t answer. It’s really hard. There is no textbook and no support, there is nothing.
“If a father has a car crash or is there would be somewhere to go but there’s nothing to support.
“There is nothing for children to have that support when a parent is transitioning.”;;
*All the names in this story have been changed
