A WOMAN has revealed how her husband hid his porn addiction for years after he became hooked at eight years old.
Madison Loftin, 27, had been married to Kyle, 32, for just over a month when she realised he was hooked.
Madison Loftin found out her husband Kyle Loftin had a porn addiction just a month after they wedCredit: SWNS
Kyle, 32, confessed he’d been watching porn from the age of eightCredit: SWNS
Kyle revealed that he became exposed to from a young age and got hooked using it as a “crutch for any negative emotion or feeling”.
At his worst, Kyle would watch between three to four hours of a day.
Despite meeting his wife Madison, Kyle still struggled to control his obsession – and it would impact the couple’s sex life.
When Madison discovered porn on his phone she was “angry” and even admits to bingeing on porn herself to “hurt him back”.
But it showed her how “addictive it can be” and helped her support her husband to help him recover – attending recovery programmes and therapy.
Last week, Strictly winner shared how he became addicted to aged eight and how it brought him to the brink of suicide.
Kyle, a journeyman plumber, from Salt Lake City, Utah, said: “I came across it at around eight.
“I was pretty quickly hooked, and it became my crutch for any negative emotion or feeling.
“It’s been very destructive, and the worst part was losing my wife’s trust.”
Kyle had struggled with his porn addiction since discovering adult content aged eight.
Madison was met with harsh criticism when she shared their story onlineCredit: SWNS He said his addiction made him into someone he “didn’t know or respect” and “made me hurt those I love and care about”.
When he met Madison he was honest about his young exposure but didn’t reveal how it still impacted him.
The stay-at-home mum said: “I asked him when we were if he had struggled, and he did tell me that he was exposed when he was eight years old.
“But he said he had it under control at the time.”
Getting help with a porn addiction
IF you think you, or someone you know, is battling a porn addiction, here's everything you need to know.
Acknowledge the Issue:
– Recognising that you have a problem is the first and most crucial step.
Seek Professional Help:
– Consult a therapist or counsellor who specialises in addiction. They can provide tailored strategies and support.
– Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is often effective in addressing addictive behaviours.
Join Support Groups:
– Consider joining a support group, either in-person or online. Groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) offer a community of individuals facing similar challenges.
Establish Healthy Routines:
– Develop new hobbies and interests that can divert your attention and reduce the urge to watch porn.
– Regular physical exercise and mindfulness practices like meditation can help manage stress and reduce addictive behaviour.
Set Boundaries and Controls:
– Use internet filters and parental control software to limit access to pornographic content.
– Create a schedule to limit screen time and ensure you have a structured daily routine.
Confide in Trusted Individuals:
– Share your struggles with a trusted friend or family member. Having someone to talk to can provide emotional support and accountability.
Educate Yourself:
– Learn about the impacts of porn addiction on mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Knowledge can empower you to make positive changes.
Stay Patient and Persistent:
– Recovery is a journey and may involve setbacks. Stay committed to your goals and celebrate small victories along the way.
Kyle added: “It turned me into someone I didn’t know or respect. It’s made me hurt those I love and care about.
“I lied and deleted things, and did my best to hide how it was affecting me emotionally.”
But a month after their wedding day in 2019, Madison discovered porn on his phone on a road trip and Kyle’s secret unravelled.
She said: “A month after we were married, I found stuff on his phone and brought it to him, and that’s when he broke down and said he’s been struggling this whole time.”
The revelation launched Kyle into years of recovery, relapses and rebuilding trust.
The couple weathered multiple setbacks as Kyle attended 12-step recovery programs through their church and therapy sessions.
“There were several times that I caught him in lies that he had been lying for six months or a year,” Madison said.
“In an addict’s mind, he would mess up, and he didn’t want to have any confrontation, so he would tell himself, ‘I’m not going to tell her, but that was the last time, I’m not doing it again, so I don’t need to tell her.'”
During one low point, Madison briefly turned to pornography herself out of anger and curiosity.
I was confused why he didn’t want to be intimate all the time.
Madison Loftin
She said: “I wanted to hurt him back in a way.
“So I went and viewed porn, and there was actually a week timeframe that I was kind of entrapped in it. That kind of opened my eyes to how addictive it can be.”
The couple went on to have two children together – a four-year-old daughter and a son, two.
While still struggling with his addiction, it took a toll on the pair’s , leaving Madison questioning her self-worth.
She said: “I was confused why he didn’t want to be intimate all the time, because everything I heard was that guys want to do it all the time.
“There were times that I would dress up for him when he would get home and try to initiate, and he just wouldn’t bat an eye because he had viewed stuff earlier that day.”
The rejection, she said, cut even deeper after giving birth.
“One of the times this happened was a couple of months postpartum, so I already felt self-conscious with my body, and then being rejected by my husband, it made me very self-conscious,” Madison said.
“Still to this day, some of those thoughts creep into the back of my mind.”
Two years ago, Madison reached her breaking point and temporarily asked Kyle to leave just one month postpartum with their second child.
Support from family and friends, she says, helped her see how much progress he had made.
“They themselves have seen how much progress Kyle has made, and he really has made so much progress,” she said.
“Even though he relapsed, he has been taking small steps forward.”
‘Nobody will understand our full story’
Kyle hopes his story can help others struggling in silence.
“I want others to know that it’s normal to feel discouraged, but it won’t always be that bad, and recovery is possible,” he said.
“I’ve learned healing is not linear, but just keep working at it.”
Despite trolls online telling Madison to end her , she remains supportive of her husband.
She said: “They don’t understand his full story, and nobody will understand our full story.
Madison now shares that message with others, reminding partners of addicts that they are not to blame.
“As much as this addiction makes it feel like it’s your fault and you’re not enough, you’re not attractive enough, it has nothing to do with you,” she said.
“It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism that people turn to numb the pain of something that they aren’t able to deal with at the time.”
She added: “You’re enough and you always have been enough.”
