LILY Allen has opened up on having suicidal thoughts following the breakdown of her marriage.
The singer, 39, confirmed she had called time on her romance with actor David Harbour, 50, in December and was left in a dark place following the split.
Lily Allen has opened up on feeling suicidal after her marriage splitCredit: Francesca Allen
The star split from husband David Harbour last yearCredit: Getty
She has opened up to Vogue about the marriage coming to an endCredit: Francesca Allen
Singer Lily has now confessed she “wanted to die” following the painful break-up after it was revealed that David had been having a three-year affair with a younger colleague.
In a new interview with British Vogue , Lily candidly admits she “came close to relapsing on drink and drugs and developed a really, really bad problem with food”.
Speaking honestly to the publication ahead of the release of her upcoming album, Lily said: “I’ve had real problems with food over the past few years.
“[During the break-up] it got really, really, really bad.”
Lily has previously been open about her recreational use of and but she opted to quit the substances six years ago.
It led the star to find her split even more challenging as she wasn’t able to use the substances as a way out.
Lily said: “The feelings of despair that I was experiencing were so strong.
“The last time that I felt anything like that, drugs and alcohol were my way out, so it was excruciating to sit with those [feelings] and not to use them.“
As a result of her dark feelings, Lily voluntarily opted to attend a live-in rehab facility.
She gave herself praise for recognising the way she was feeling and choosing to allow herself to go to a facility of her own accord.
Lily said: “I’ve been into those places before against my will and I feel like that’s progress in itself.
“That’s strength. I knew that the things I was feeling were too extreme to be able to manage, and I was like, ‘I need some time away’.”
Lily married David in 2020 – her second husband following her to the father of her children, builder Sam Cooper.
The LDN hitmaker was married to Sam from 2011-2018 although the relationship was understood to have crumbled sometime before they made their split official.
With Sam, Lily had two children, 13 year old Ethel and Marnie Rose, 11.
Speaking about how she aimed to protect her daughters during the marriage split, Lily told Vogue: “I try not to smother them. I feel like I can try and shield them and protect them from things, but I don’t think that really works.
“A big part of what I’m doing at the moment creatively is for them.
“I need to show them that, yeah, we’ve been through something f*****g devastating – twice now – and that I can get us through.”
Lily is gearing up to release her next album which will chronicle the splitCredit: Francesca Allen
Her husband David is best known for his role in Netflix’s Stranger ThingsCredit: Alamy
Her two daughters – whom she shares with her ex – were present at the ceremonyCredit: Instagram
She further added that she had been in communication with Sam recently as she helped support him through his own grief.
Speaking of their “friendly” co-parenting relationship, the Smile singer said: “Me and Sam, we’ve got a good relationship – I wouldn’t say that it’s a friendship, although we are friendly.
“His dad died earlier this year and we spoke a lot on the phone around then because I loved his dad and we share children together.
“So obviously we’ve been talking a lot about what we’ve been experiencing as a family over the past year and he’s had concerns and yeah, we co-parent.”
Lily is due to release her fifth studio album later this year which she confirmed has been inspired by the breakdown in her marriage.
She will release the record via BMG, the same label as and .
Speaking of the record, Lily said: “There are things that are on the record that I experienced within my marriage, but that’s not to say that it’s all gospel.
“It is inspired by what went on in the relationship.”
Adding of her musical evolution, Lily said: “My first album really was the break-up of my first love. And my second one was – this is going to sound so stupid – but the Trauma of Fame.
“Sheezus was a mess, because I was a pop star who suddenly had two children and didn’t fit into this world. So actually it’s kind of exactly what it should have been.
“Then my last album was emerging from the detritus of my first marriage. And we’ll see what happens with these songs!”
See the full feature in the November issue of British Vogue, available via digital download and on newsstands from Tuesday 21st October.
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Lily and David’s marriage crumbled last yearCredit: AFP 
