"I Struggled with 6 Eating Disorders as a Teen—But My Weight Concealed the Signs Everyone Overlooked"

LEANING over the toilet making myself sick, I felt a mixture of relief and disgust. A few hours earlier, I’d gorged on pizza, crisps and bread slathered in Nutella.

Living by myself aged 27, there was no one to check up on me – and now, I was wrestling with my sixth secret in 18 years.

My battle started at nine years old, when I began comparing myself to my friends. I wasn’t overweight, but I was sporty and bigger than them.

So, I decided to eat less. My parents would make spaghetti Bolognese for dinner, and I’d pretend I’d had a big lunch or eaten at a friend’s house.

Even though I was , as a growing girl entering puberty, I didn’t look underweight, so my parents didn’t realise anything was wrong at first.

At 14, I started to binge – barely eating all day, then gorging on junk food in secret come evening. I’d consume tubs of ice cream, packets of cookies and big bags of crisps, then hide the packets in the bin outside.

Increasingly, life felt overwhelming. I had undiagnosed and and was falling behind at school. Dieting and became my dysfunctional coping mechanism, instead of allowing myself to feel all these difficult emotions.

When I was 15, a friend told my dad I wasn’t eating properly. Annoyed and embarrassed, I lied and insisted I was fine. I now know that I had ‘atypical ’ – I had all the symptoms but didn’t look thin.

However, within three years, this had morphed into full-blown conventional anorexia, and my weight dropped from 9st to 7st 11lb, which at 5ft 4in was very low.

Mum was worried, but I’d become good at lying, and told her I was just doing a lot of sport. Meanwhile, my erratic eating was affecting my .

I had , with bloating, constipation and irregular bowel habits.

By 20, a decade of eating disorders had taken its toll, and I couldn’t stop crying. I admitted I needed help, but my GP dismissed it as .

By then, I was working as a PT and developed compulsive over-exercising. I’d spend 90 minutes on the cross-trainer, determined to burn off all the calories I’d eaten.

At 24, I thought I was recovering, but I was in the grip of orthorexia – an obsession with healthy eating. Even though I’d have a breakfast of eggs on toast, a smoothie for lunch, and fish and salad for dinner, I was still unwell as I’d obsessively weigh out ingredients.

Of all my six eating disorders, it was the I developed a few years later that made me feel the most mentally unwell.

My problems remained unspoken between me and my boyfriend, and when we split after 10 years, I became acutely ill, a persistent voice in my head telling me to purge.

By then, I also had OSFED (other specified feeding or eating disorders), where you have symptoms of several disorders at once.

Eventually, at 27, I had a wake-up call. I’d always wanted children before 30, and my maternal instinct was kicking in – if I was to be a mum, I had to get better.

My periods had been irregular, so I was worried I might not be able to conceive.

Through therapy and research, I began to understand my eating disorders. I’d placed my worth on my size, so had to learn to focus on my personality.

I made myself follow a healthy-eating plan and exercise in moderation.

Now, I’m stronger and more muscular, competing in fitness events, and food no longer dominates my life.

When I told friends and family about my eating disorders, no one was that surprised, but they hadn’t realised how serious it had been.

I’ve since retrained as a body image expert, written a book and am about to qualify as a counsellor so I can help others.

I married Jordan in 2022, and we have three beautiful children who, when they’re older, I’ll talk to about having a healthy mindset around food. As for me, I feel excited about the future.

• Food Freedom by Elle Mace (£14.99, Vermilion) is out Thursday.