SNEAKING over to her boiler, Ashley Peace gave a furtive glance around before quickly turning the thermostat dial up from 18 degrees celsius to a 21 celsius.
What she didn’t bank on was that one sneaky tweak would plunge her entire into a cold snap.
Ashley Peace reveals how squabbling over the thermostat was the last straw in her marriageCredit: NB PRESS LTD
Ashley with her second husband, AndrewCredit: Supplied
Ashley with her first husband Mark and their children at ChristmasCredit: Supplied
It was a nippy November night and the mum-of-two girls, now 11 and nine, was already feeling the chill, with the mercury hitting around 10 degrees celsius outside.
“I was freezing and 21 celsius is my ideal ‘warm’ temperature,” says Ashley, explaining she feels the cold otherwise.
Unfortunately, her husband of a decade, Mark, now also 59, didn’t share her view. He was far more cold-blooded.
For years, the pair waged a cat-and-mouse thermostat war – a battle that rumbled on from 2012 to 2018, until the constant rows finally pushed them to .
“I’d turn it up and he’d turn it down,” says Ashley, a careers advisor, from York, .
“He was worried about the but I was worried about the cold and just wanted to be warm.
Ashley, now married to electrical tester Andrew, 42, who allows her to control the temperature from October until March, dubs the breakdown of her first marriage a “thermospat”.
And she’s not the only UK woman who’s rowed with her partner about how hot things should be – outside the bedroom.
Research by specialist hire company Andrew Sykes Hire Ltd found that 46 per cent of UK couples argue about heating control in the home.
In another survey, 5 per cent of respondents even battled daily with their spouse over the heating.
The Saving Trust recommends heating your home to 18 to 21 degrees during , while the (WHO) suggests 18 degrees is the ideal temperature for healthy people.
Most people put on their heating around late October, with many worried about the soaring cost of energy prices. However, not Ashley – she currently spends around £200 a month on .
“But Mark never felt the cold and when he’d wander around in shorts and a T-shirt in winter,” says Ashley.
He was worried about the bills but I was worried about the cold and just wanted to be warm
Ashley
“I’d want to scream. Every time I’d up the temperature, he’d complain he was too hot and lower it.
“Studies do show women feel the cold more than men. I now joke biology made us bicker over the boiler.
“It became a clash over climate control. I tried every sneaky trick I could but he always caught me out.
For years, Ashley and Mark waged a cat-and-mouse thermostat war – a battle that finally pushed them to divorceCredit: NB PRESS LTD
I refused to dress like a Michelin Man inside the house every winter. It was hell on earth trying to stay warm, she saysCredit: NB PRESS LTD
“After eight years it got ridiculous and I started to get genuinely annoyed. I refused to dress like a Michelin Man inside the house every winter. It was hell on earth trying to stay warm.
“I’ve lost track of the number of heated rows we had. He kept saying ‘put on another jumper’. It drove me bonkers.
“My female friends agreed I was right.
“They complained about their own boiler battles. Male relatives kept telling me I should put on a beanie or an extra vest.”
Ashley says the rows proved a fundamental incompatibility between them which led to their divorce in June 2019. Shortly afterwards December 2019 she met now-husband Andrew via friends and early on asked him the question all modern women want to know the answer to: what number do you put the heating on?
“Andrew just smiled and nodded when I told him about my heating choices,” she says.
“I know he’d like the heating at 19 degrees but copes with it by wandering around in just a jumper.”
She admits she was naive in her early, love-flushed days of marrying Mark, who she walked down the aisle with in 2008, thinking boring household issues wouldn’t impact their .
“When you’re in love, the cost of heating, how cold it is or even when the heating is allowed to be turned on for winter isn’t a topic of discussion,” she says.
“As a newlywed couple, you can always snuggle under the duvet and watch .
“But when I fell with our first daughter in 2012, I wanted the boiler on longer each day and the temperature up.”
Competition of stealth
After the couple’s first child was born, Ashley admits her need for a warm house worsened.
“As a new mum with a baby, the last thing I wanted to do was wander around with multiple jumpers on,” she says.
“I was and stripping down in what I deemed sub-zero conditions for a feed every three hours was not an option.”
So the heating went on. But not for long…
“By the time my daughter was two, we were back to on-again-off-again,” she says.
“There were arguments over how many layers I could wear before the boiler could be fired up. It turned into a competition of stealth. We both wanted to be in charge of the boiler.”
Our boiler arguments helped us move on and find new lives, partners and be the best co-parents to our children. Boilers will always cause heated debates
Mark
It wasn’t just an issue of warmth for them – it also linked to .
“When Mark discovered you could save by turning down the water temperature by one degree, he turned it down three times to get more value,” she says.
“I screamed when I got in the shower. I kept telling him layering up wasn’t the answer. It was uncomfortable and no matter how many layers I had on, sitting in the living room and seeing your breath in the air wasn’t enjoyable.”
Sadly, the rows which started with the boiler worsened. “We moaned at each other, stomped our feet and ended up arguing. It became about wasting money.”
Determined to get the upper hand Ashley became very adept at understanding boiler settings.
“Many people don’t understand the intricacies of how to work boiler gauges,” says Ashley.
“I learnt via reading the manual and would change the settings and feign ignorance. It would take Mark a day to untangle my complicated inputting. But it was in April 2018 I realised we weren’t good for each other.
“Our regular heating rows were symbolic of multiple other issues in our marriage,” she says.
“We argued over my love of music festivals, different work schedules and everyday stress. We knew it was better to split as friends than as husband and wife who’d grown apart.
“It was when he suggested I leave the oven door open for extra warmth, I realised just how far we’d come from being a loved-up couple.
“The older we got the more the age gap made us realise we’d grown apart. Our regular heating rows were symbolic of multiple other issues in our marriage.
“We knew it was better to split as friends than carry on.”
“In May 2019 I signed the divorce papers but agreed with Mark we’d be friends and amazing co-parents. We also made one vow – never comment about the temperature at our now separate .
“It works for us now. I’m happy with Andrew in my warm home and we never row about the heating – that’s my advice for all women. Check how hot your man likes it before you get entangled.”
Mark says: “Ashley and I used to bicker about the boiler. It was one of those arguments which led to bigger arguments. We’re divorced and have stayed friends.
“Our boiler arguments helped us move on and find new lives, partners and be the best co-parents to our children. Boilers will always cause heated debates.”
The mum admits she was naive in her early, love-flushed days of marrying Mark thinking boring household issues wouldn’t impact their relationshipCredit: Supplied
I’m happy with Andrew in my warm home and we never row about the heating, now says AshleyCredit: Supplied 
