SOPHIE Kasaei has confessed she was preparing herself for life as a single mum as boyfriend Jordan Brook lay fighting for survival in the hospital.

star , 31, was – with icon , 36, unable to be by his side due to being seven-months .

Sophie Kasaei and Jordan Brook pose for a photo together outside the ITV studios.
Towie stars Jordan and Sophie have opened up about their struggles after his life-threatening battle with meningtis Credit: Beretta-Sims/RAW
A man lying in a hospital bed, holding his fist up with a cannula in his arm.
Jordan was rushed to hospital in March and later told how he feared he’d never meet his son Credit: Instagram

While , terrified he’d never meet his baby boy, Sophie has now opened up about the dark moments she pictured a life with just her and son Brody.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun ahead of , she said: “I’d be at home on my own, standing in the nursery we were having done for Brody, and I’d look around like, ‘what the actual f**k? What now? Is this it?’

“I would think, ‘am I just going to have to raise this baby on my own?’ I would spiral and I couldn’t sleep.”

Thankfully Jordan survived his terrifying health battle and baby boy Brody was born in June. But the couple confess they’re both still haunted by those dark days and the thought of what could have been.

Pete Wicks wearing a tuxedo holding a baby while a woman in a gold dress leans in to kiss the baby's cheek.
Sophie and Jordan’s baby boy Brody was born in June after two-years of fertility struggles for the couple Credit: Unknown
A pregnant woman in a light blue dress standing in front of a backdrop with white floral arrangements and a sign reading "BABY BROON".
But Sophie has confessed that she struggled with dark thoughts of life as a single mum Credit: Instagram

Jordan said: “That battle will haunt us for quite some time I think.

“Me and Soph were speaking about it in bed last night and she said she’s definitely got some PTSD from it.

“I only recently learned what Sophie was going through at home at the time. After hearing stories from my dad, my mum, Soph’s mum… sometimes, it’s a bit twisted, but I feel guilty for them going through that.”

Despite still mentally recovering from his near-death experience, physically Jordan is proud of how far he’s come.

“When I watched scenes from the last series of Towie shot when I’d just come out of hospital, I saw myself and I just thought, ‘wow’,” he said. “That was hard.

“I’m very proud of myself. I’m grafting my ar*e off to get better.”

But Jordan and Sophie say that the only positive to come out of the situation is that they no longer take anything for granted as they look forward to the future with Brody.

Sophie said: “We’ve got everything we’ve ever wanted. What more could we want?”

A man and woman standing together in front of a water feature, with the man wearing a brown shirt and white trousers and the woman in a patterned, cut-out dress holding a red bag.
Jordan and Sophie have been together since December 2022 and she later joined the cast of Towie Credit: Instagram
A woman kisses a man on the cheek inside a pub.
But they’re in no rush to walk down the aisle – insisting their struggles have made them content with life already Credit: Instagram

When we mention that her ring finger is still bare, despite getting together in December 2022, Jordan shoots a cheeky look, joking: “F**k off! The thing is, I’ve had a pretty busy year with nearly dying.”

And, while there’s no doubt in either of their minds that they’ll have a fairytale wedding one day, Sophie insists she’s in no rush.

“Of course I want to be engaged,” she said. “But we’ve got time. I think sometimes people can rush things in life.

“It’s like, ‘I want the baby, I want the house, I want the car, I want the wedding’. It can all happen so fast, and then what?

“Once it’s all done then you’re done. Spread it out – have the kids, get the house, have the wedding when you’re like 43 and then get a divorce when you’re 50!”

Jordan & Sophie: A TOWIE Baby airs Sunday 8th & Monday 9th November at 9pm on ITV2 and ITVX