"After Pleading for Help, My 13-Year-Old Daughter May Still Be Alive if Nurses Had Listened"

A MUM whose daughter took her own life when she was just 13 has said she may still be alive today had her cries for help been taken seriously.

Ella Louise Murray died on November 15 2023, two days after telling her she “wanted to kill herself”.

Ella Louise Murray died on November 15, 2023 aged just 13 Credit: Cover Images Ella’s mum Natalie believes she may still be here today had Ella been taken seriously Credit: Cover Images

Upon making the admission, the Year 9 pupil from Sheerness, in , was taken to A&E where she told a paediatric nurse she would end her life if she went home.

She was then referred to the Child and Adolescent Mental Services (CAMHS) and seen by a nurse who deemed her a “medium risk”.

But, she was discharged with an agreed home treatment plan, and seen by another mental health nurse the following day at her home.

During the home visit, she told the nurse she would “hurt herself or others” if she stayed at home, was feeling suicidal and wanted to go to the hospital.

Yet, it was decided that she did not meet the criteria to be admitted.

After the nurse left, Ella attempted to end her life and was airlifted to King’s College Hospital in London, where she died the following day.

During her inquest in 2024, coroner Catherine Wood said she found it “incredible” that a 13-year-old could tell a nurse she was going to harm herself and a proper risk assessment not be completed.

“I simply cannot accept it is reasonable to leave her at home even with a plan to see her the following day,” she said.

“There was a clear failure here to keep Ella safe.

“This was a child crying out for help, and she should have been risk-assessed. Had she been, she would have been high risk.”

Ella was discharged with an agreed home treatment plan after being taken to hospital Credit: Cover Images During Ella’s inquest in 2024, the coroner said she could not understand why a proper risk assessment wasn’t taken Credit: Cover Images

She concluded that Ella should have been taken to a mental health ward and admitted to the hospital, or an urgent discussion should have been held with partner organisations to ensure Ella was in a safe place.

Now, two years on from the inquest, Ella’s mum Natalie James still can’t understand how her daughter was seen by three different professionals but not admitted to hospital.

“Losing a child is something I will never get over,” she said.

“There are so many questions I will never have the answer to, so many ‘what ifs’, and I cannot ask Ella.

“I look back and think she could still be here. If she felt like someone was helping her, maybe she would not have given up hope.

“One of the hardest things I hear is ‘she would have done it anyway’. We do not know that.

“What we do know is that if she were risk-assessed, she would have been rated as high risk, and she might not have done it then.”

Natalie, who now lives in Sittingbourne, said: “If they [a child] have gone to the hospital, they should not be leaving without having an assessment, and they should not have to jump through so many hoops and red tape for it.

“Anyone expressing a desire to harm themselves at a young age should be taken more seriously.”

Natalie, who has completed several training courses in mental health and suicide awareness, understands that not every person who says they intend to harm themselves will do so.

But says these comments should always be taken seriously.

“It is not worth the risk. They are big words for a small person, and are warning signs that should not be ignored,” she added.

“A 13-year-old should not know how to end their life, and it should not be a consideration.”

Ella’s friend Daisy Sunley has now launched a government petition calling for mandatory suicide risk assessments when a child in hospital care expresses intent to harm themselves.

Daisy has lost not only Ella but another friend, Elvie, to suicide.

“Losing one friend so young was heartbreaking, but losing two was something I struggled to understand at that age, especially to suicide,” she said.

“As I have gotten older and learned more about Ella’s case, I began researching what a suicide risk assessment was and why it mattered.

“Now, as an almost 18-year-old, I cannot understand how something that could determine whether a vulnerable young person receives life-saving support can still be treated as optional.

Pictured, Ella with mum Natalie Credit: Cover Images

“What affected me most was learning the details of Ella’s case.

“She had told professionals she wanted to end her life, she was hearing voices, and she was clearly crying out for help, yet a suicide risk assessment was not completed.

“I do not want any other child, friend, or family to go through what so many people around Ella and Eivie had to go through.”

Following Ella’s death, a Prevention of Future Deaths (PFD) report was submitted to the Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, the chief executive of and the Kent and Medway Integrated Care Board (ICB).

The coroner outlined her concerns, including that if the teenager had been removed from her home, she “may still be alive today”.

In response, the organisations said multiple meetings and reviews had taken place, and steps were being taken to strengthen information sharing between agencies and escalation plans for professionals.

UK: For help and support, call the Samaritans for free from a UK phone, completely anonymously, on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.

US: If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.