WHEN mum-of-five Sybilla Hart is asked if she sent her children to private school, she’s forced to answer: “Yes… one.”
Because Sybilla and her husband Charlie, both 45 , controversially made the decision to send just their oldest to a . In total they spent £200,000, saving £800,000.
The parents to a 19-year-old who asked not to be named, Beatrice, 16, Florence, 14, Celestia, 11, and Benjamin, seven, who live near Colchester, Essex, said they initially thought private were their only option.
They enrolled their son into one when he was four.
Writer Sybilla explained: “I went to a private school myself, so sending my eldest son to one was a natural decision for me.
“I was just doing what my own parents had done. I didn’t question the process too much, as I thought I was doing the right thing.
“The nursery school headmistress where my son attended as a toddler in London, where we then lived, thought private school was the right pathway for him and that he would have been swamped in a large state school class, so I followed her lead.
“She was the expert, not me; I was ‘just the parent’. The state schools in Fulham either didn’t have space for him or were a bit rough. So private school it was.”
But she admitted she started to question her decision when the family’s bank balance took a noticeable hit.
According to figures from June, 6.3 per cent of all school children in England attend a fee-paying school, a 0.2 per cent decrease from the previous year. It includes five per cent of primary pupils and eight per cent of secondary pupils.
The Good Schools Guide suggested the average fee-paying school cost nearly £21,000 per year for a primary and £23,300 for a secondary. However, it added school prices varied considerably, and these figures didn’t include hidden extras such as uniforms, trips, , and textbooks.
Sybilla, whose husband works as an art dealer, added: “I did start wondering about our decision in choosing private school when I heard all about my friends who sent their kids to state school and went on all their lovely holidays to Spain and France.
“We couldn’t afford that, and I wondered if we were missing out by sacrificing ourselves at the expensive and unnecessary altar of private school?
“Was private school outdated and irrelevant now anyway? Could we be showing our children new and interesting places instead of sending our son to an expensive school? The answer turned out to be a resounding yes.”
So when Beatrice arrived, they kept their eldest son in private school but decided to send her to the local state primary and subsequently – when she was 11 – moved her onto a nearby comprehensive.
It was a great decision, said Sybilla.
She explained: “We sent our younger four children to the state primary school, where they all thrived. I remember once at a party a dad at the private school my son attended asked me why my other children had been ‘left’ in the primary.
“I explained how great it was.
“This dad, who was a bit of a know-it-all and quite pleased with himself, remarked that my method of sending one child privately and the others to state school was a ‘social experiment’ if ever he had heard of one.”
It wasn’t the only unusual comment Sybilla heard.
She added: “I remember driving home via all the roundabouts in Colchester thinking that this comment of his was pretty rude. Firstly because it demonstrated inverted snobbery: who is to say that anyone is any better or worse depending on which school they attended?
“This snobby dad at the party really bothered me to the point that I thought we might switch my eldest son into state school education.
“I did get other chippy remarks from some parents, but I ignored them and thanked my lucky stars that the universe had enlightened me as to which people I should avoid like the plague – on the basis that they were unkind snobs.
“In some ways it was quite freeing, because anyone who would judge me about my own choices about schooling meant that I didn’t need to bother with them. They were helping me out really, weren’t they?”
As her son hit 16 and finished his at the fee-paying school, his parents decided against continuing his education there.
Sybilla explained: “We moved him to the excellent secondary school our daughters attend.
“He loved sixth form and had two golden years at the school, where he made loads of new and old friends.
“He said he wished he had had more time with them all; it was a huge success. Thinking about it now sends tingles down my spine; it was God’s will.
“In the end, he achieved excellent A-levels and now attends a top university, where he studies .
“I am so proud of him for all that he has achieved, socially and academically.
“It worked out perfectly for us, but I would also credit his previous private schools, as they played their part and did a great job with him and for him.”
And she said there was a benefit to him not being in private school – the they saved.
She explained: “We did go on holiday more as a result of ditching private school. We went to France and stayed in a medieval chateau near Lyon, a castle fit for a princess near Limoges, we visited a fortress in Provence, and holidayed endlessly in Norfolk.
“The children got to eat chicken nuggets in an ancient chateau, taste Champagne in the region itself, swim in a Roman-style pool in mid-France, go mud-sliding in Norfolk, and stay in hotels in Paris near the Eiffel Tower.
“If my son had stayed in a private school, he might have played more sports, but we would never have covered so much territory.
“Putting all five children into state school was the best decision we ever made for so many reasons.”
She worked out that if she’d sent all five of her children to private school, it would have cost an eye-watering £1 million.
“There’s nothing wrong with the local primary or the good old comprehensive,” she added. “We have been so fortunate to have crossed paths with so many lovely teachers and pupils alike, and if there’s ever been a problem, we have called them up and they’ve dealt with it. There is no such thing as a perfect school, but I think we’ve come close.”
