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As the Nativity season approaches, educators nationwide are discreetly finalizing their casts.
While the official explanations given to parents are often quite tactful, the true reasons behind the casting choices tell a much more humorous tale.
A teacher has disclosed how they cast students in the nativityCredit: Getty
Damon Cuthbert, a former teacher turned gift supplier at PersonalisedBee , has shared insights on how teachers in the UK actually select parts for the festive play.
In an interview with Fabulous, he stated that if your child has been cast in the coveted lead role of Mary, you might hear that it’s because she is calm, dependable, and perfect for the role.
However, the teacher might actually be thinking, “She’s already managing this entire production, and if I don’t give her this part, her parents might cause a scene.”
Meanwhile, those chosen for Joseph are often praised for being steady and sensible.
This is indeed true, as the teacher is secretly relieved to have found someone who won’t argue, won’t complain, and definitely won’t drop the baby.
The Narrator is portrayed as a confident storyteller, but the teacher knows that this child simply “loves the spotlight” and genuinely believes the audience came specifically to hear them speak.
Being cast as a Shepherd means your child is said to “bring great group energy,” while the teacher is inwardly thinking that it’s actually because “they’re loud, they’re talkative, and this role allows them to move around without derailing the entire performance.”
If your little one is one of the Wise Men, you’ll hear that they add flair and remember their lines beautifully.
The teacher, on the other hand, recognizes someone who enjoys crowns, costumes, and the overall vibe of looking important.
According to Damon, this will be someone who is “delightfully dramatic, yet reliable.”
If your child is an angel, it may mean they are the tallest or ‘more adorable’Credit: Getty Images – Getty
Landing the role of Donkey comes with compliments like “you can be trusted,” even though the teacher quietly acknowledges that this part is the safest way to keep a wonderfully unpredictable child contained and out of trouble.
Children cast as Angels are said to stand out with grace or energy, but the teacher thinks, “You will be noticed no matter what – whether for being adorable or simply because you are the tallest person on stage.”
The Innkeeper is labeled funny and engaging, while the teacher knows they’re giving this cheeky, lovable character just one scene instead of the entire show for everyone’s sanity.
Meanwhile, being placed in the Choir means your child “has a great voice,” which loosely translates to “we needed to assign you somewhere, and this keeps everyone satisfied.”
What Your Child's Nativity Role Really Means...
Damon Cuthbert, a former teacher turned gift supplier at PersonalisedBee, has revealed how UK teachers truly select parts for the festive play...
Mary
- Teacher says: Calm, reliable, perfect for a lead role.
- Teacher really means: You’re bossy, organized, and absolutely running this show whether we like it or not. Or your parents might get upset if we don’t give you this role.
Joseph
- Teacher says: Steady, sensible, supportive on stage.
- Teacher really means: You won’t argue, won’t complain, and won’t drop the baby. Very low-maintenance.
Narrator
- Teacher says: Confident speaker who guides the story.
- Teacher really means: You love attention. You think everyone came specifically to hear you.
Shepherds
- Teacher says: Work well as a group, bring energy.
- Teacher really means: You’re loud, chatty, and need a role where moving constantly won’t ruin the scene.
Wise Men
- Teacher says: Add flair and remember lines well.
- Teacher really means: You like crowns, costumes, and looking important. A bit dramatic, but reliable.
Donkey
- Teacher says: You can be trusted.
- Teacher really means: You can’t be trusted to do anything, so this keeps you in check.
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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