WHEN babysitter Katy Orah waited for the children’s parents to come home, she expected the usual questions about how the night had been.
But when the couple sat her down, they asked her a question she never could have imagined.
“Do you want to go to a swingers’ party with us?” they said.
Katy, now 33, had been babysitting for the well-off couple on ’s Gold Coast for some extra cash, and was completely stunned by their proposal.
“I assumed it was going to be something about the kids,” she says.
“But they told me they both fancied me and asked if I wanted to go to a with them.
“I was completely blindsided.”
What the couple didn’t know was that Katy, originally from Prestatyn, North , had secretly gone seven years without climaxing, faking pleasure with boyfriends to hide the fact she wasn’t enjoying sex.
So she accepted the invitation.
She recalls: “The word ‘yes’ coming out of my mouth was as much of a surprise to me as it was to them.
“Looking back I was willing to try anything to discover what real pleasure felt like.
“I knew I had to do something drastic.”
Three weeks later, Katy, then 29 joined the couple at a where she was introduced to a whole new world of sex and pleasure.
She says: “The wife had explained what would happen and made it clear there was absolutely no pressure to do anything.
“I learnt all the terminology including ‘soft play’ which meant kissing, touching and oral sex, while ‘hard play’ meant penetrative sex.
“I wore high-waisted, figure-hugging trousers and heels and, for the first time in years, I actually felt sexy.”
Katy had gone there intending to watch, but her nerves soon began to disappear.
“I was standing near the bar when the couple encouraged me onto the dance floor and started kissing me,” she says.
“It happened really naturally. There was no pressure.
“I’d promised myself I would just see what flowed naturally.
“When I kissed them back, it felt lovely.
“I was taking myself out of my comfort zone.
“I was incredibly innocent – I was their babysitter – but this didn’t feel weird.
“For the first time I realised that letting go could be life-changing.”
The three eventually moved into a private room and while there was no penetrative sex, Katy says what happened next changed the way she viewed her body.
“We spent about an hour touching, kissing and pleasuring each other,” she says.
“For the first time in my life my body completely relaxed.
“Then I felt this orgasm explode through me. It was amazing.”
Before moving to in 2018, Katy grew up in Wales and says her sex education focused almost entirely on avoiding pregnancy rather than pleasure.
“My sex education was basically that of a 1950s housewife,” she says.
“I was told to lie back and think of England.
“I had no idea I was allowed to enjoy sex.”
Too embarrassed to ask friends, Katy came to believe sex was something women did for men.
She first had sex at 18 while studying for her A-levels.
“A friend and I were revising for A Levels,” she says.
“We’d been poring over our books, started kissing and ended up having sex.
“Neither of us orgasmed.
“It was a quick fumble, but afterwards we both agreed we were no longer virgins.”
A string of mediocre relationships followed, then, aged 18, Katy left Britain and moved to France, where she worked as a gym instructor.
There, she started casually dating a 21-year-old man and finally climaxed for the first time.
“I didn’t even know what it was,” she says.
“It was just this weird tingling feeling. I felt embarrassed by it.”
In 2018, she moved to Australia and retrained as a nursery school teacher, taking up babysitting to earn extra cash.
She dated men, but never experienced an orgasm again – instead she faked them.
She says: “They had absolutely no idea I was faking it.
“My ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ were Oscar-worthy.
“They orgasmed, I didn’t and afterwards I’d feel miserable.”
Katy admits she became trapped in a cycle of concentrating on her partners’ pleasure while assuming there must be something wrong with her.
She says: “I couldn’t tell boyfriends because I’d never even hinted that I wasn’t satisfied.
“The thought of blurting out, ‘I can’t climax’, to my female friends who bragged about their amazing love life filled me with shame.”
It was only when she went to the swingers’ club that she realised the way she viewed sex needed to change.
And that wasn’t the only life-changing moment – she also met her now former-husband, then 38, at the swinging club. .
“It was a night of firsts!” Katy admits.
“He approached me, we had a drink and started flirting before he asked me out on a date.
“When we made love after our first date, he focused on my needs before his,” she says.
In a whirlwind romance the couple married in 2022.
“For the next two years we enjoyed swinging, wild sex adventures and an amazing love life.
“My orgasms skyrocketed and my confidence in the bedroom was supercharged.”
It was during this time that Katy realised she had gone from years of feeling ashamed and clueless about sex to throwing herself into a world of wild sexual adventures – and it started to take a toll on her marriage and she divorced after three years.
She says: “I’d also swung wildly from being naive in bed to experiencing wild sexual adventures.
“I didn’t know who I was.
“The divorce was sad, but we’re still friends.”
Determined to find out who she really was, both in and out of the bedroom, Katy moved to the tropical Thai island of Koh Samui to start a new life in 2023.
She says: “I’d spent years partying and it had left me feeling disconnected from my body and feelings.
“I had gone from faking orgasms to almost being overwhelmed by pleasure.
“I needed to find the happy medium.
“I’d learnt how to have great orgasms, but I realised I still hadn’t properly connected with myself.”
Katy spent the next six months at a series of wellness centres, retreats and specialist practitioners where she learned about breath, movement and listening to her body.
She also took part in a specialist womb massage programme, which she describes as critical for women seeking sexual pleasure and sexual healing.
She explains: “This is a lower abdomen and pelvic area massage.
“It’s a woman’s pleasure centre, it’s the area our babies develop in and it’s the place where we carry much of our inner tension.
“During the second massage my body suddenly let go of a decade of tightened muscles and blocked emotion.
“I realised just how much stress I’d experienced.”
It was also Katy’s lightbulb moment and led her to set up the School of Sensuality, helping thousands of people online and face-to-face to improve their sex lives, embrace their sexuality and reconnect with their partners.
For women, she offers therapeutic massage programmes, talking counselling, meditation and breathwork, as well as practical tips on how to give yourself an orgasm.
She also helps couples get to the bottom of problems in their sex lives, understand why their may be out of sync and learn how to rekindle their passion.
She says: “And most importantly learn what an orgasm is and how to experience amazing ones.
“Sex should be joyful.
“One in one in three female clients who come to my clinic have never climaxed.
“Orgasms are brilliant. They’re the perfect way to start or end the day.”
Katy is now in a caring relationship but had been celibate for twelve months.
“Celibacy forced me to enjoy orgasms on her terms.
“I’ve worked through my sexual demons,” she says.
“I had tried the boring life, and the wild sex life.
“Now I can self-pleasure and I also enjoy climaxing with my new partner.
“Even with a partner I finally know I don’t need anyone else to show me a good time. I enjoy orgasms on my terms and by myself.”
Katy boasts thousands of followers on social media @schoolofsensuality_ , where she also shares advice.
“I am proud to be a sex coach and show the world how to orgasm,” she admits
“I’ve had thousands of messages from women all over the world thanking me for my social media reels which show them how to enjoy themselves alone or with a partner.
“I get messages from men telling me they learnt more from one of my 60 sec reels than twenty years of fumbling in the bedroom.
“I realised I needed to experience all the things I went through to be a sex coach and help other people.
“I have replaced shame with loving myself and now help thousands of people do the same.”
