MARRIED for 14 years, Chris Jones couldn’t tear his eyes away from the messages between his wife Amy* and their mutual friend.
Chris, a journalist, was finding out about the affair in real time thanks to the agonising, 20 minute conversation unfolding in front of him – and the consequences were devastating.
Chris Jones was left devastated after texts messages revealed his wife’s affair with their mutual friend Credit: Chris Jones
Chris says finding out about the affair in real time was like ‘someone had taken baseball bats’ to him (stock image) Credit: Getty
Chris had grabbed his wife’s laptop to do a quick bit of late night work research. Then text messages that were synced to his wife’s phone started popping up on the screen – and “a bomb went off” in his life.
“My heart was racing,” says Chris. “It was like being beaten up, as if someone had taken baseball bats to you. I wanted to stop watching, but I couldn’t stop watching.
“Every time the three dots popped up I was like, ‘Okay, what’s this one going to be?'”
The incident happened 10 years ago in the summer of 2016 after he had returned home from the Euros in .
Chris, 52, thought Amy was asleep upstairs, along with their sons Charley and Sammy, aged 10 and 8.
In reality, she was texting Brad*, a university friend of the couple’s who was also married, about how much she cared for him – and how little Amy cared about her own husband.
“I just can’t believe, in moments, that you could feel for me what I do for you,” Amy gushed in one message to Brad.
“You can believe that, feel that, I look at you that way because it’s you,” came the reply.
“Your husband is selfish, inconsiderate, unappreciative and arrogant,” added Brad.
“The way I found out was so definitive, they just revealed everything,” says Chris, who is from Ontario, .
“The hurt was less about the than it was about how two people I thought cared about me thought about me in reality.”
Travelling the world to cover football matches, Chris had felt tension in his relationship when he returned home from the European football tournament.
But he had no clue Amy was on him and when he read the messages that broke the news in devastating fashion, saying: “It was like watching a scary movie that you’re actually in”.
Chris had thought Amy was asleep upstairs when she was messaging her lover (stock image) Credit: Getty
Helped by therapy, today Chris is the happiest he’s been in decades Credit: Chris Jones
Incredibly, the worst night of Chris’s life wasn’t over yet – his best friend Phil was upstairs and Amy went on to message him about her husband’s inadequacies, calling him fat, moody, jobless and a loser.
“You deserve better,” was Phil’s crushing reply read by Chris, who had borrowed Amy’s laptop by chance, because his own device was upstairs.
“It was an awful night,” says the sports writer.
“We had been friends for 20 years.
“My initial response to the whole night was pain, hurt, sadness and anger. Overwhelmingly, it was anger.”
Chris went upstairs to confront his wife who pretended to be asleep, hissing that their was over before heading up to the attic to order Phil out of his house.
There was no way back for his marriage and he describes his subsequent as a “catastrophe” in his new book Legs, Hearts, Minds.
Chris with his son Sammy Credit: Chris Jones
Chris as a child in Peterborough, Ontario Credit: Chris Jones
“ is perfectly designed to kill you because the cure is talking about it but the illness makes you terrified to talk about it,” says the writer of his declining mental health following the marriage breakdown.
“I was very lucky, I ran into an extremely caring and empathetic doctor who started me back on my way.
“Ten years ago, I guess I would describe myself as hopeless. I didn’t see how anything would be fun or joyous or fulfilling again.”
Helped by therapy, today Chris is the happiest he’s been in decades.
His relationship with his ex-wife, who didn’t stay with her affair partner, has been up and down over the years.
Chris, who has a mother from Rawtenstall, near Manchester, and supports FC, admits Amy is “not thrilled” about his book but for both parents, their children have remained the priority.
“We have both tried very hard to be good co-parents,” he says.
“We have both tried to shelter our children as much as possible from the fallout. I respect Amy for that. We go through really good periods and really bad periods.
“It’s complicated when you were married to somebody and it ended this way. You have deep feelings about each other, both good and bad.”
Chris found love again with Jenny three years after, incredibly being set up by his ex-wife, whose sister works with his new girlfriend.
He says he wouldn’t rule out marrying again.
“Jenny and I live in a house together with our kids and a big dog and it’s ridiculous that life took that turn,” he smiles.
“We’ve blended our family and she is the most loving, generous and supportive partner.
“I couldn’t have gotten here by myself, I’m happiest in a loyal, faithful, loving relationship.”
Last year, Chris’s pal Phil, the one who told Amy she deserved better, helped the couple move in together.
“The thawing of our relationship took a long time because trust is a very hard thing to get back,” says Chris.
“It’s almost like you go through something like that and you almost have a stronger relationship in a weird way.”
“I will always have regrets and sadness, I didn’t get married to get divorced but nearly every aspect of my life is beautiful now,” adds the writer.
“I hope that people read the book and realise that there are good and positive things they can do for themselves and the people that they love.
“I hope it helps people. It was not a fun book to write, I spent a lot of time in some bad parts of my life.
“One of the weird parts was having to come to terms with the mistakes I made.
“I was a good provider but I wasn’t a true partner, I spent a lot of time on the road.”
- Legs, Hearts, Minds: How Burnley Football Club Saved My Life by Chris Jones is published by August Books.
- * Names have been changed
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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