ELL, that’s bloody clever. We’ve won a Test match so let’s end up in a nightclub in the early hours of the following morning.

Not just any Test match, either — but the first one played by since a winter marred by players drinking, losing and being punched.

England Cricket sEngland’s cricket team have found themselves at the centre of controversy again Credit: PA England v New Zealand, Cricket, 1st Rothesay Test Match, Day 4, Lord's Cricket Ground, St.Johns Wood, London, UK - 7/06/2026The latest stunt could cost captain Ben Stokes his job Credit: Shutterstock Editorial

How can they be so stupid?

Details of what exactly happened in the aftermath of Sunday’s victory over New Zealand at Lord’s remain unclear, although it is believed they ran into some Saracens players at their end-of-season party.

But the very fact that and Gus Atkinson were involved in an “incident” proves they shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

It is no exaggeration to say that, if true, it could even cost Stokes his job.

Their “breach of team protocols” is regarded as serious enough to be reported to the Cricket Regulator, who will investigate and have the power to dish out heavy sanctions.

The ECB could take action of their own — perhaps suspending the pair from next week’s Second Test at The Oval.

It comes, of course, after was fined around £50,000 after being thumped by a bouncer outside a club in Wellington the night before a one-day international against New Zealand.

Brook initially claimed he was alone but it later emerged that Jacob Bethell and Josh Tongue were with him that evening. He said he lied to try to protect them.

England Cricket sStokes and Gus Atkinson were the headline makers this time after an incident in a nightclub Credit: PA

Brook’s fine and final warning became public only after a newspaper story. The ECB tried to hush it up.

Then there was the , where several players plonked themselves in the most visible bar in town and quenched their thirsts.

The BBC described the break as a “glorified stag do.” A video of batsman , clearly inebriated, was posted on social media.

Team supremo Rob Key investigated the Noosa trip but denied that there was a drinking culture in the team.

A midnight curfew was imposed for the white-ball tour of Sri Lanka and the T20 World Cup when Brook was captain. The curfew remains in place.

Stokes, of course, has had his own run-ins with authority in the past. He was suspended from the 2017-18 Ashes tour following a fight outside a Bristol nightclub although, in court, he was later cleared of affray.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating a Test win with a few beers. But even that is becoming an anachronism.

Elite sportsmen rarely drink these days and , for example, was teetotal throughout the Ashes series. Didn’t do him any harm.

Some ask why the players do not stay in the team hotel if they want to have a few drinks.

But they want to mingle, feel the buzz and, in the case of single players, maybe discover some female company.

Stokes appeared to have alcohol on his mind at his post-match press conference after his side wrapped up a 115-run win over Kiwis on day four.

Asked about the pitch, he said spectators would have had great fun on day one…“especially if you are in hospitality and the alcohol is free. Might wake up with a sore head because it’s so exciting.”

Later, he added: “I probably won’t be real happy and smiling until I get up there and share a proper beer with the boys because I have to come here and do this — no disrespect to you guys.”