"Your Essential Guide to the May 7th Elections: How to Keep Extreme Greens Out of Power!"

THERE is a big divide in this country. A divide between how people see things. And what their immediate reaction is.

So, take the arrest of alleged , Essa Suleiman.

Here’s what voters need to do on May 7th elections, it’s very simple – stop the mad Green b*****ds getting into power The Green Party is led by the breast-whispering, snaggle-toothed halfwit Zack Polanski Credit: Alamy

On the one side of the divide there’s the people who thought to themselves, “Well done the Old Bill! You got the bloke, thank God!” and maybe even cheered a bit as the boots came flying in.

Now, if asked to guess, I would say that on this side of the divide there’s about 96 per cent of the country.

The same as there is on issues such as .

My guess is that 96 per cent bear no ill will against transgender people.

They just find it very difficult to accept that someone with a beard and a huge great todger actually IS a woman. Know what I mean?

And roughly the same as there might be if you asked the questions:

Should we scrap the ? And ? Should we offer our support to ? Should we legalise ? Should we INCREASE ? Oh, and should we leave ?

So, about 96 per cent on one side — the side that answers politely, “Probably not, thank you” to the suggestions above.

And therefore four per cent on the other side. The side that says, “Coolio, bring it on!”

And that four per cent is the . Led by the , snaggle-toothed halfwit . And his band of pink-haired, cross-dressing, antisemitic, anti-women student nutjobs.

As one journo put it recently, they’re basically with a nose ring.
But now we have elections coming up. Important council .

And are tipped to do a lot, lot, better than that four per cent would suggest. They are tipped to take hundreds of council seats. Especially in the south of the country.

And that’s because people are, maybe rightly, sick of the main traditional parties, especially and the . Neither has done a terribly good job of running our country, of late.

So maybe we should try something different? And many are turning to the Greens. Perhaps not knowing all the madcap policies in their manifestos. Or maybe not caring.

So this is a very dangerous election. An where a political party whose policies would find almost no support in the wider country could do very well indeed.

So, if you will forgive me, here is my suggestion as to what we as voters have to do next Thursday. It’s quite simple. If a little coarsely expressed:

Stop these mad bastards getting anywhere near the levers of power. And that may require voting in a way which you didn’t originally intend.

I have a friend who is a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative. An admirer of . A man who has spent the past two years howling all kinds of abuse about . And, for that matter, .

Whatever you may think of Labour, they are not remotely comparable to the Greens Credit: Getty The pantomime horse of Ed Davey’s hilarious Lib Dems are also not similar to the Wacko Zacko party Credit: Getty

And he has just filled in his postal vote. I asked which way he had voted and a look of enormous shame and torment crossed his face.

“I voted Labour,” he said.

Labour? LABOUR? The party of that adenoidal robot of a Prime Minister? The party of Eco Ed Milipede?

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” he replied. “In my ward it’s a straight fight between Labour and the Greens. Nobody else stands a chance. So I knew what I had to do.”

And he’s right, of course. Because whatever you may think of Labour, or for that matter, the pantomime horse of hilarious — they are not remotely comparable to the Greens.

Life under a Green government would be so intolerable that one might be tempted to take advantage of their decision to legalise heroin.

It’s not just that we would have more of these nutters running our local councils. Or that it would give the Greens a big boost in the polls.

It’s that the better the Greens do, the more likely it is that Labour will drift towards their ludicrous, post-rational policy positions, believing there might be votes in it for them.

Don’t forget, the Labour Far Left is only inches away from the Greens on issues such as and trans and how wonderful is.

You think I exaggerate how awful the Greens are? I do not.

Look, I have voted Green at least twice before.

Once in 1989, when they were all about protecting the environment. Then in 2005 after Labour government had decided it might be a good idea to illegally invade a sovereign country, , and cause a ten-year civil war.

But the Green party was very different in those days.

It has been taken over by the maniacal pro-Islamist Far Left.

It has become the party of student politics, of pink-haired keffiyeh-clad loons. And the stuff it believes in, some of which I detailed above, either makes no sense whatsoever. Or would be downright catastrophic for our country.

They are actively opposed to everything good for the UK. They don’t like economic growth. They despise our history. The British military could not possibly be small enough for them. They wish to scrap our nuclear deterrent. They want to spend much, much, more on welfare .

And increase . They are even thinking of bringing back dog licences — this a sop to the growing number of Muslim extremists in the party.

Already, two prospective councillors have been charged with inciting racial hatred. There are countless more across the country waiting for that sharp rap on the door.

So next Thursday, show these mentals that there is no place in the UK for such delusional extremism. Next Thursday, wire up their nose rings to the National Grid.

Ah well. My brave Lions missed out on automatic promotion. Pipped by one point by those carrot-munching, tractor-fiddling weirdos from .

Not that there are any hard feelings, you understand. And we still have the play-offs to come, of course. It’s been a brilliant season down at and manager has done a remarkable job.

Obviously, I would like us to be promoted. But it’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it?

We’ll have left Europe’s most exciting and competitive league for the monied world of the . Where half the teams are struggling desperately just to stay in the division. And there’s the awfulness of VAR.

And games played at ludicrous times on ludicrous days of the week.

And the truly terrifying, scary “Ultras” with their exciting choreographed routines . . .