A COWGIRL straddles a mechanical rodeo bull as two bikini-wearing blondes vanish into the pampas grass, and naked revellers slip into the hot tub.
It is not even lunchtime, but things are already hotting up at the adults-only Swingathon Mini Weekender.
The adults-only Swingathon Mini Weekender is the UK’s largest annual swinging festival Credit: Olivia West
Exes Steve and Chloe reconnected after spotting each other on swinging app Credit: Olivia West
The UK’s largest annual festival has become so popular that organisers added a special May bank holiday edition — and invited yours truly along.
More than 300 swingers gathered at private members’ venue The Mirage, for four days of “connection, curiosity, and a little beautifully chosen chaos” in a remote part of .
Club owner Connor Richardson, 33, who runs the kinky club with his relative “Auntie Debs,” says: “Welcome to the Hilton for swingers.
“It used to be a wedding venue, but we figured, why stop at ‘I do’ when you can upgrade to ‘I did . . . and then some’. So it’s still all about love, just with a bit more cardio.
“I’ve seen everything since turning it into a swingers’ club.
“At a party here in October, there were 85 people on the gold beds.
“It was like something out of ; one person crawling out, another jumping in.”
The Weekender kicked off with a kink night on Friday, where guests put on their tightest leather, followed by the Western-themed Saturday complete with a bucking rodeo bull.
The real challenge for the ladies is whether they can last longer than the average guy.
Which, in my experience, might not say much.
Matt Cole, founder of , says: “By day, it’s a really social, laid-back vibe — people chatting, having drinks, enjoying the outdoors. Then as night falls, everything transforms.
“We’ve got themed evenings where people can dress up, or down, as much as they like, plus playful games like strip poker and adult twists on classic party games.
Paul and Cheryl also run their own adult themed nights Credit: Olivia West
Guests gather on the dance floor for cowboy party Credit: Olivia West
“You’ll know you’re in the right place when you arrive.
“There’s lots of pampas grass outside, a symbol long associated with . And because we are so secluded, guests get full discretion.”
Thrill-seekers pay £120 for , which includes camping, or £20 to £40 per night on the door.
They can bring tents, or stay in their caravans on the grounds.
The ticket price also includes access to several playrooms, including four giant gold leather mattresses pushed together, with a neon sign warning “no heels on the bed,” and a “dungeon”.
One of the couples in attendance is Laura, 34, a content creator, and her fiancé Mike, 36, who is a plant operator from Lincolnshire.
They have been together for seven years and have children.
The pair opened up their relationship three years ago.
“I thought it would be a good idea to see her get slammed by someone else,” says Mike with a laugh.
“We’re into ‘hot-wifing’ — a trend where men like to watch their partner get it on with another man.”
Laura says: “He told me when we were sitting on the sofa, and I was breastfeeding our four-month-old daughter.
He’d joked about this fantasy in the past, but I hadn’t taken him seriously.
Chloe and Laura in cowgirl hats Credit: Olivia West
Georgie in her Western-style outfit Credit: Olivia West
“When was on the TV, it made us think about it again. We had never even done a threesome before.
“After Mike told me about his fantasy, it led to a lot of conversations and we started going to clubs.
The pair have “dabbled” with couples, but Laura mainly plays with other men.
“I’ve been with an array of people,” she continues. “One minute they’re one shape and size and another time they’re different.”
The first time Laura slept with another man, Mike was “around” but not in the same room.
“Video footage is a big thing,” she explains.
“Mike wants snippets of what we get up to, but the other guy will make sure his face is not shown for privacy reasons.”
After Laura has explored her “hotwife” fantasy, she writes an X-rated story about her encounter for Mike.
She will include photos and a short reel, so her fiancé can read it later on his phone. It becomes a kind of “erotic diary” for them both.
Sitting at the Weekender bar — where its naughty cocktail list includes the “Penis Colada” — were Chloe, 30, and builder Steve, 32.
The pair tell me they have been together for eight years, but split up for a while until swinging brought them back together.
Chloe, who had always been , explains: “After we broke up, I started swinging on my own.
This banner suggests how the party will end for some guests Credit: Olivia West
Guests can bring tents, or stay in their caravans on the grounds Credit: Olivia West
“And then Steve must have had the same idea as we were scrolling on the Swinghub app and found each other.
“We’d never even spoken about swinging before, and it brought us back together.”
Their first experience after they reconnected was at a .
She says: “We’re open to all dynamics of play, but it’s mostly couple swaps, or women.
“It’s who we vibe with on the night. We have safe play, and we don’t have a plan, we like to be spontaneous.”
Surprisingly, the pair say their bond is strongest after they have been intimate with other people.
“It’s a turn-on hearing what Steve’s been up to,” Chloe says.
“I can’t really explain it, but when we come back together afterwards, it’s always when we feel closest.”
The Mirage has been in Connor’s family since 1997, but its transition last year from venue to swingers’ club prompted a backlash.
He says: “We had plenty of criticism — not from neighbours, as we are in the middle of nowhere, but from family and friends, who gave us a lot of flak.
“But we are proud of what we do.
“People said we’d never make it work and yet we’re thriving. Guests love it here because it’s a safe, classy space.
“I’ve worked in hospitality for years and used to run pubs, where there could be plenty of trouble.
“Here, I’ve never had any real issues beyond the occasional lovers’ tiff. People in this lifestyle are actually very respectful.”
The Mirage has played such an important role in one couple’s marriage that they plan to renew their wedding vows at the venue.
Cheryl, 36, a nail technician, and husband Paul, 39, an engineer from , have been together for 16 years and have two children together.
They opened up their marriage four years ago after Cheryl had been quietly mulling over the idea for some time.
She says: “I always knew I was bisexual, but I was too nervous to bring it up. I remember one summer’s day I just turned to Paul and asked, ‘Do you fancy another woman joining us in the bedroom?’.”
Paul says: “My response was, ‘Nope, never even thought about it’.
“Honestly, I thought it was a trick question. I was convinced that if I said yes, I’d end up in trouble.”
The pair say they were “very nervous” the first time they visited a swinging club.
Cheryl recalls: “We sat in the car outside for about an hour, just watching people go in and out.
“In the end, we decided to treat it like any normal night out and take the pressure off doing anything.”
Swinging has become a meaningful part of their .
She says: “We’re planning to celebrate our ten-year wedding anniversary at The Mirage, surrounded by friends we have made there. It’s become such a special place for us.”
The couple say open and honest communication is key for the lifestyle to work including taking time after sexual encounters to talk through what they did or did not enjoy.
They typically avoid single men and women, because “boundaries can become blurred”.
The pair have since gone on to host their own themed nights, called The Dixies, where guests dress as their favourite cartoon characters with a kinky twist.
Cheryl says: “It’s much easier to explore your fantasies when you’re in character, especially when you’re new to the lifestyle.”
She is not wrong. Pulling on my cowgirl outfit has definitely helped me shake off the restraints of everyday life.
Keen to leave before the Weekender really heats up, I head for the exit and pass a sign that reads “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”.
Judging by what’s going on behind me, there will be no shortage of that.
HONESTY IS KEY FOR SWINGING
OPEN relationships or ethical non-monogamy is becoming increasingly popular with younger generations – and is Dear Deidre’s No1 query.
The Sun’s Agony Aunt, Sally Land, says: “Swinging has been enjoying a successful rebrand.
Sally Land says honesty is important when opening up a realtionship Credit: Olivia West
“But anyone who commits to ‘ethical non-monogamy’ without fully grasping what it entails is potentially setting themselves up for jealousy, low self-esteem, heartbreak and sometimes humiliation.
“Couples interested in opening up their relationships is one of the most popular queries in my inbox, but then so is the request for advice for when it all goes very wrong.
“The golden rule with any ethical non-monogamy arrangement, which includes swinging, throuples and polygamy, is that both parties have to genuinely want to get involved.
“They also need to be very secure in themselves and their relationship, be excellent communicators, checking in regularly on their partner and be able to set and respect boundaries.
“I do hear from some couples who are very satisfied with their open relationship, but in all honesty, I hear from far more who feel insecure, threatened and upset.
“If you have anything playing on your mind you can email me and my counsellors on deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk.”
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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