BEFORE Roxie Nafousi became the ‘Queen of Manifesting’, the star was tormented by self-hatred and battled a crippling cocaine addiction.
Now, the 34-year-old has opened up on her withdrawal during the “darkest months” while , whereby she wanted to “rip her face and skin off.”
Roxie Nafousi has discussed her turbulent past – from benders four times a week to smoking a cigarette every 30 minutesCredit: Youtube/ Giovanna Fletcher's Happy Mum Happy Baby
The manifestation expert, who once dated Damien Hirst, revealed all on being in a “mental prison”Credit: Getty
began using cocaine at just 17-years-old and it didn’t take long for it to become dangerously .
At the time, the hard-partying socialite was with , reportedly the UK’s richest living artist.
Looking back at her journey to , which kickstarted just after she fell pregnant with now ex-boyfriend Australian actor Wade Briggs, Roxie told The Mirror : “I had been an addict to cocaine and and cigarettes for a decade.
“And then I found out I was pregnant and I had to give everything up overnight. All the pain I was trying to escape from came rushing out.
“Those 10 months were the worst time of my life. It was my dark night of the soul. I wanted to rip my skin and my face off. I hated myself. I couldn’t look in the mirror.
“I stopped leaving the house for about six months. I would only go down one road in Waterloo because I was sure nobody I knew would ever see me. I was binge eating. I gained over 30 kilos.
“I hated myself. And I think that was just all my trauma coming up with nowhere to go. But that was also the making of me.”
Turbulent past
Not only this, but Roxie recently appeared on an episode of Happy Mum Happy Baby with podcast host , whereby she delved deeper into her turbulent past.
The bestselling author and manifestation expert reflected on her childhood, her addiction to and shared all on getting sober.
Looking back, Roxie explained: “My mum is incredible…but she had her own demons and struggles.
“It was an incredibly unstable environment to live in and grow up in and I can see how my childhood definitely resulted in my addiction later on in life and impacted my struggle with self worth.
What to do if you think are an alcoholic
IF you’re struggling with alcohol addiction, the most important thing is to recognise the problem and seek support – You don’t have to face it alone.
Seek Professional Help
- GP or Doctor – A medical professional can assess your situation and provide advice on treatment options.
- Therapists or Counsellors – Talking to an addiction specialist can help address underlying causes and develop coping strategies.
- Rehab or Detox Programmes – If physical dependence is severe, medically supervised detox may be necessary.
Consider Support Groups
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – A well-known 12-step programme that provides peer support.
- SMART Recovery – A science-based alternative to AA, focusing on self-empowerment.
- Local Support Groups – Many communities have groups tailored to different needs.
“I was very ashamed of my upbringing, I resented my home life.
“My sister has never drunk in her life, and would never go against her partners. And then me and my other sister were very rebellious.
“We both ended up taking drugs and drinking and addiction…As soon as I tried cocaine, I was like ‘wow’.”
She was a teenager at the time, as Roxie reflected: “I’d gone up to with a friend of mine and went to an after party and was offered a line.
Roxie told Giovanna that she began using cocaine at just 17-years-oldCredit: Youtube/ Giovanna Fletcher's Happy Mum Happy Baby
When she found out she was expecting a baby with Wade Briggs, her boyfriend at the time, she “burst into tears and immediately had a cigarette”Credit: Getty
“Instantly I was like, ‘this is incredible’. It gave me this false sense of confidence, something I’d never experienced until that point. It very quickly became addictive for me.
“I hated the feeling of getting drunk. Cocaine stopped that and made me feel this false sense of control.
“I very quickly went into this world of drugs and alcohol and by the time I was 21 or 22 I went to my first narcotics meeting.”
Dealing with heartbreak and going on four benders a week
Roxie described herself as “vulgar” and “awful” during the height of her and claimed that her break-up with Damien Hirst caused a big spiral.
She acknowledged: “I knew there was an issue, I started doing it on my own, I was becoming very erratic if I didn’t have it. I was vulgar, I was awful.
“I went and tried to give up. It obviously didn’t work. When [me and Damien] broke up, I was so heartbroken.
I had so much shame. I was disgusted by myself and I was always on a comedown
Roxie Nafousi
“I couldn’t tell you what I did with my life from 23 to just about to turn 28. I went on benders three, four times a week.
“I would always do [cocaine] on my own before I went out. I was incredibly depressed, I hated myself more than I can say.
“I had so much shame. I was disgusted by myself and I was always on a comedown.”
Falling pregnant and going sober
Following this, Roxie opened up on meeting her now co-parent Wade, as she shared: “He had messaged me on a on 7th June, on . We met a few weeks later.
“After a couple of months, he was like ‘I’m gonna go back, get my visa and come back to the UK.’ The day he got back to the UK, I found out I was pregnant.”
Roxie admitted she was “disgusted by herself” during her addictionCredit: Getty
She wanted to “rip my skin and my face off” whilst battling cocaine withdrawalCredit: Getty
But Roxie, who has a named Son Wolfe Christopher Briggs, now six, was 25 cigarettes a day at the time and was in floods of tears when she discovered she was soon to become a mum.
She admitted: “I smoked a cigarette every 30 minutes, I loved it so much.”
After seeing the positive pregnancy test, she said: “I burst into tears and immediately had a cigarette. Poor Wade was thrilled, so f*****g happy and I’m like, ‘this is the worst thing ever.’”
Roxie then discussed the challenge of going sober as she added: “It just went downhill from there… a week in I had to give up smoking, drugs, alcohol, everything that had masked all my pain.
I was convinced I was a grotesque monster. I was revolted when I looked in the mirror, a true feeling of disgust
Roxie Nafousi
“It was excruciatingly hard. All my emotional pain came out. I had horrendous prenatal . Every day was like being in a mental prison.
“I can’t describe the agony I felt internally, the self-hatred. I started binge eating, it was my replacement for drugs. I , stopped leaving the house for the last six months.
“I was convinced I was a grotesque monster. I was revolted when I looked in the mirror, a true feeling of disgust.
“This time of my life was the most traumatic I’ve ever experienced. That was hard, I was not prepared for how difficult that would be.
“I kept thinking, I just want this baby out so I can go and get f****d up. It’s all I could focus on.”
Struggling to connect
Roxie also got candid on struggling to connect with her son, as she continued: “I was not connected to Wolfe at all. It was so hard…It was very f*****g dark.
She admitted she struggled to connect with her son WolfeCredit: Instagram/roxienafousi
She described her son as her “lucky charm in life”Credit: Instagram/roxienafousi
“When I gave birth to Wolfe, I also to a new version of myself. I always think Wolfe is like my lucky charm in life. Every good thing that has ever happened to me has come since he came along.
“It wasn’t a case of I had Wolfe and then everything was great. I had Wolfe and I really struggled to connect.
“I had no love for myself so how on earth could I love anything else, even my son.
“It took me a few months to connect but then once I did it was f*****g magical.”
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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