STRICTLY’S Robin Windsor left a suicide note saying the way he was treated by the BBC “destroyed me”.
The pro added: “It started me on the road I’m still on” before
Tragic star Robin Windsor’s devastation and anger at the BBC for dropping him in 2015 was laid bare in two letters found near his body, an inquest heardCredit: BBC
Kristina Rihanoff couldn’t contain her emotions as she revealed how Robin ‘changed significantly’ following an injuryCredit: PA
devastation and anger at the for dropping him in 2015 was laid bare in two letters found near his body, an inquest heard.
Yesterday co-star burst into tears as she told how Robin “changed significantly” after a back injury.
And she slammed the show as a “very lonely space with not much support”.
Robin, 44 — who danced with , Anita Dobson, and on four series between 2010 and 2013 — was found face down on his hotel bed.
A receptionist discovered him after he failed to check out.
I just live permanently in a dark place. I just can’t live like this anymore. It’s just too painful
Robin
and medics were called but he was pronounced dead at the Hoxton in Shepherd’s Bush, West London, on February 19, 2024.
A post-mortem ruled he most likely overdosed on and alcohol.
PC Emily Hampson said she found two notes near Robin.
In the first, addressed to a friend, he wrote: “This all really started when I lost my job on and have been fighting it ever since.
“The way they treated me destroyed me…It started me on the road I’m still on.
“All I wanted from life was to be happy.
“I loved my job more than anyone else.”
The dancer said it had “all gotten too much”, adding: “The heartache, the loneliness, the constant sadness.
“I just live permanently in a dark place.
“I just can’t live like this anymore.
“It’s just too painful.
“I had a good run, I’ve done some incredible things in my 44 years and had an unreal life doing what I loved, but all things must come to an end and my curtain has come down for the final time.”
In the second note, addressed to his ex, actor Ollie Augustin, Robin told him: “I need you to understand that this is not your fault!”
A jury inquest was opened at West London coroner’s on Monday and continued yesterday.
It heard Robin had suffered a back injury in late 2013 which resulted in him needing surgery to remove a disc.
He missed the 2014 series while he recovered.
Kristina pictured arriving to give evidence in the inquestCredit: Dan Charity
Robin had danced with a number of stars including Lisa RileyCredit: PA
Next year telly bosses chose not to renew his contract.
Pal Kristina, 48, told the hearing she was “extremely upset” after learning Robin had not been asked back for the 13th series.
She added “the psychological impact was very severe” because he “couldn’t do what he loved” due to his back pain.
He lived for dancing, breathed it, slept it. That was his vocation in life.
“Being called for Strictly is every professional dancer’s dream
Robin’s aunt Alison Windsor
Kristina described it as “heartbreaking” to see him “deeply sad, subdued and burdened”.
Retired Strictly executive producer Louise Rainbow said three stars including Robin were dropped ahead of the 2015 series as bosses wanted to refresh the line-up.
Ms Rainbow broke the news to him, and told the inquest he was “very disappointed” and “understandably upset”.
But she said his reaction “wasn’t that different” to other dancers’ responses to being let go and didn’t cause her concern.
She offered Robin work on the Christmas special and spin-off It Takes Two, which he accepted.
Ms Rainbow met the star and his agent to discuss these offers in 2015 and said she has no record in her meeting notes of his mental state being brought up.
She described Robin as “a joy to work with” and a “lovely man”.
Robin’s ex-boyfriend, former X Factor star , also testified the dancer’s mental health deteriorated when he was dropped.
In a witness statement read by HM assistant coroner Dr Anton van Dellen, Marcus told how his former partner was inconsolable at the axing, which he learned of while they were on a trip to New York.
He’d say things like he would kill himself if he couldn’t be with me and there’s no point in living
Ollie
He added: “The day he was informed he was no longer required really broke his spirit.”
Robin’s aunt Alison Windsor said her nephew was “absolutely devastated” at being dropped.
She said on Monday: “He lived for dancing, breathed it, slept it.
“That was his vocation in life.
“Being called for Strictly is every professional dancer’s dream.
“I think things started with his back problems, when he was told he wasn’t required again.
“I do honestly 100 per cent believe that was the start of Robin’s decline.”
Dragon’s Den star Deborah Meaden, who shared the stage with Robin, last met him for dinner a year before he diedCredit: PA
Robin dancing with actress Patsy KensitCredit: Handout
In her written statement star Deborah Meaden, 66, said she was aware Robin had damaged his back in 2013 which impacted his ability to rehearse.
The jury heard she last met him for dinner a year before he died.
Deborah said: “We talked about his problems but he had come through the bad times and had plans for the future.”
The inquest heard how Robin had suffered with mental health issues since childhood.
Jurors were told that Robin was also struggling to cope with a split from Starlight Express star Ollie.
They had agreed to cease contact that January.
On Monday, Ollie told jurors that over Christmas 2023 Robin was on suicide watch by the panto company he was working for.
Ollie said: “He’d say things like he would kill himself if he couldn’t be with me and there’s no point in living.”
But in the note which he left for Ollie, Robin stressed that he was not to blame.
The inquest continues.
How to get help
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- HUMEN www.wearehumen.org
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org , 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org , 116 123
Robin with Anita DobsonCredit: Getty
Kristina and Robin snapped on a Strictly Come Dancing red carpet launch event in 2013Credit: Alamy Kind pal wanted to make us happy
By
ROBIN Windsor was, perhaps, the first “face” of Strictly Come Dancing.
Long before the show’s pros became household names, this talented, kind, hard-working dancer was a housewives’ favourite.
Hugely popular with his celeb partners — Susanna Reid, Lisa Riley and Deborah Meaden all attended his funeral — he made everyone he worked with feel special and, crucially, safe.
A proud gay man, he also campaigned tirelessly behind the scenes for Strictly to introduce same-sex couples.
His requests were denied, and only introduced the next year, after ITV’s Dancing On Ice broke down barriers.
He was also my friend.
Robin was ridiculously generous. Sadly, sometimes people took advantage of his generosity.
He and his then partner, former X Factor star Marcus Collins, came to my annual summer BBQs, and were the life and soul.
That they remained friends, long after splitting up, tells you a lot.
He was brilliantly fun, very funny, and an open book.
He wore his heart on his sequinned, muscled sleeve.
Robin had his demons. But when we last met up, for a gym workout and coffee, he was on great form, and so excited for the future.
He taught children with Down Syndrome, and was passionate about helping others.
He loved teaching and just wanted to make people happy.
His devoted family and friends still host a memorial picnic in a London park, throwing out (environmentally friendly) confetti in his honour.
Next week will mark the two-year anniversary of his passing.
Whatever the real reason for the BBC letting him go, perhaps we will never know. But that decision was devastating.
He adored Strictly.
There will be more questions for the Corporation. Duty of care will come to the fore again.
For Robin’s sake, I hope he gets the answers he so wanted.
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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