HAVE you ever forgotten your keys, or left your phone in the car?
A moment of going into autopilot can really throw your whole day off, but for Raelyn Balfour it changed her entire life.
In the stuff of nightmares, Raleyn, now 53, drove to work forgetting her nine-month-old son was in the car.
She went about her day as normal, working for over seven hours before discovering her little boy’s lifeless body in the backseat.
While many are, and have been, quick to judge the mum she says it is a mistake that anyone could make and wants to warn other mums as
“I have been living the unimaginable devastating and horrific nightmare no parent should ever have to experience,”; she says.
“Despite all attempts to revive my little baby Bryce he was declared dead at the shortly after.
“The nightmare of the loss haunts me to this day.”;
Executive Raelyn lives in San Antonio, , with husband Jarrett, 46, a business executive and their four children Christopher 32, Braiden 17, Isabella, 16, Chase 14 and Ethan, 12.
It was 18 years ago in March 2007 when a then 36-year-old Raelyn and Jarrett’s worlds fell apart.
The family were living in Charlottesville, in March 2007 when Raelyn had driven to work.
“I’d been in meetings most of the day and when I was finishing up that afternoon I noticed a missed call from the ,”; she says.
Concerned the childminder needed advice settling her nine-month-old son, Bryce, Raelyn dialled the number.
When the babysitter asked how Bryce’s cold was doing, Raelyn stopped dead in her tracks.
“I can still remember that moment my blood ran cold, my mind started racing in the world spinning,”; she remembers.
“My childminder explained I had never dropped off my little boy and she had assumed I had kept him at home because of his cold.
“I instantly sprinted out the door to the consumed by fear racing to the car trying to recall my morning.
“When I got to the car the world stopped. Bryce was still strapped in his car seat.
“I was hysterical. I screamed for help.”;
Raelyn immediately started giving him CPR until the ambulance arrived and her baby was then rushed to hospital.
“I was wracked with hysteria, it felt like I was living in a nightmare,”; she says.
Despite all attempts to revive her son, Bryce was tragically declared dead at the hospital shortly after.
While the temperature outside had been a mild 18 degrees, it was hyperthermia that killed Bryce, who had been in the car for more than seven hours.
Police said the temperature inside the car could have reached 36.6 degrees in just forty minutes, more than enough to kill an infant.
When the emergency team told the young mum her son had passed away Raelyne says the guilt she felt was inconceivable and something she battles with 18 years later.
“I was inconsolable as the police told me I would never see my son again,”; she remembers.
The loss of a child in such tragic circumstances was only the start of Raelyn’s nightmare.
The same day Bryce was buried Raelyn was arrested and charged with second degree murder with a potential life sentence of 40 years.
“I couldn’t even grieve Bryce’s death, instead I had to prove I hadn’t killed him,”; she says.
“Everyone assumed I was a bad mother or that I was abusing him but that simply wasn’t the case.
“I distinctly remember dropping off Bryce at the babysitter’s before driving to work that day.
“Then I worked all day confident in the knowledge he was safe with the childminder; I was utterly convinced he was there.”;
Raelyn’s legal team explained to the jury that she had suffered a false memory.
This is when someone either remembers an event that didn’t happen or remembers it differently from how it did.
I go through that memory of seeing my son not breathing every day
Raelyn Balfour
In Raelyn’s case experts testified that because dropping off Bryce was so routine, her brain filled in the gap that day.
According to Raelyn there were a series of events that threw her off her routine.
“Byrce had been poorly with a cold, and I was sleep deprived from being up with a sick child all night,”; she says.
“My husband put the new car seat in behind my driver’s seat rather than behind the passenger’s seat where it normally was out of my line of view.
“Bryce’s diaper bag wasn’t in its usual spot in the front passenger seat, but moved to the back because Jarrett was in the passenger’s seat and I dropped him at work.
“His nappy bag would have been a trigger for me if he was still in the car. It wasn’t there for me to see like normal.”;
Raelyn’s brain calculated the unusual stop she made to drop off her husband, as her usual stop to drop off Bryce.
“That horrible morning, I drove to work, parked the car, and walked into the office,”; she recalls.
“I didn’t realise Bryce was still in the car, I wouldn’t have heard him either as he had fallen asleep in his car seat.”;
“I go through that memory of seeing my son not breathing every day,”; she says.
“No parent should have to deal with that. No one should have to try to save their child’s life from their own terrible mistake.
“I live in hell every day. I live in pain everyday remembering the horror of what happened – the grief and the loss and the knowledge of what I had forgotten.
“It’s a nightmare you never escape from.”;
British psychologist James Reason discovered what is now called the term the “Swiss Cheese Model”; in 1990 to explain how a catastrophic failure like Raelyn forgetting Bryce happened.
Dr Reason’s theory uses Swiss cheese slices being piled on top of each other.
The holes represent small, potentially insignificant weaknesses. Things will totally collapse only rarely, when those holes align breaching a person’s decision making and memory creating a devastating failure.
Then in 2009 the term Forgotten Baby Syndrome was used to explain what happened not only to Raelyn but dozens of other loving parents around the world.
The term became widely recognized following research by University of South Florida neuroscientist, David Diamond who revealed results of his study into how routine memory can override prospective memory, leading to why loving, responsible parents can unintentionally forget a child in a car.
He discovered Prospective memory, our brain’s ability to remember to do something in the future like in Ralyn’s case of dropping Bryce at daycare.
Dr Diamond discovered when there is a change in routine, stress, fatigue the brain may default to a more habitual memory system which happened to Raelyn and such and straight to work effectively “erasing”; the intention to stop at daycare or assuming she had done it,
Since 1998, an average of 37 to 38 children under the age of 15 have died each year in the U.S. from heat stroke after being left in vehicles while in 2024, there were 39 reported deaths from forgotten Baby Syndrome.
More than half or 55% of these deaths occur when a caregiver unknowingly leaves the child in the vehicle. According to Raelyn most parents assumed they would never forget their baby in a car.
However, a study in the Berkeley Journal of Criminal Law revealed a staggering one in four parents or 25% with children under 3 years old or have done just that – at some point, forgot their child was in the car.
“If you think it can never happen to you, think again,”; the mum says.
“I suffered Forgotten baby Syndrome and paid the ultimate price and so did my beloved child.
“I am not trying to offer excuses or gain sympathy, this is just the truth.”;
Raelyn was ultimately acquitted by a jury in January 2008, but it provided little comfort to the mum.
“Being acquitted didn’t change anything for me,”; she says.
“My world had fallen apart but I was very lucky that my husband Jarrett supported me through it.”;
Raelyn and Jarrett put their lives back together and went on to have Braiden, Isabella, and Chase.
“The day he died I remember holding my little boy one last time in the hospital to say goodbye,”; she says.
“I promised him his life and death would not be in vain and committed my own life to warning others and helping those affected by these tragedies.
As a result, Raelyn works tirelessly sharing her story to raise awareness about car safety for children and babies.
She campaigns with US charity Kids in Cars which educates people about leaving children in cars unattended even for short periods of time and ahead of the upcoming hot weather in Britain wants parents here to ‘be aware.’
“What happened to me was the most extreme situation,”; she says.
“Distractions, a lack of sleep and a breach from routine resulted in a nightmare I will never wake up from.
“The UK is about to be hit by a heatwave this week, and its critical people never leave their child alone in any vehicle.
“Some people think it doesn’t get hot or cold enough in Britain for such a death to occur. They are wrong.
“Babies like Bryce cannot regulate their body temperature like teenagers and adults can.
“A cool temperature is as life threatening as scorching summer sun.
“I paid the ultimate price, and I will never have real peace again, I am begging people to be careful.”;
Raelyn and campaigners in Britain and around the world now want specialist baby car set alarms mandatory in all cars.
“A baby seat alarm system emits visual and audible alerts when the car is turned off or the seatbelt is unbuckled, reminding drivers of a child in the back seat,”; she says.
I paid the ultimate price, and I will never have real peace again, I am begging people to be careful
Raelyn Balfour
“Other devices include a baby seat alarm reminder which tells a parent or caregiver if a child remains in the car seat after the vehicle is turned off.
“Parents should also consider a smart sensor that connects to a smartphone app, sending notifications if the driver walks away while the child is still in the car seat.
“These are simple apps or devices which could save your baby’s life. Please get one and join the international campaign to make them an essential part of any new car.
For Raelyn nothing can change what happened to her and Bryce in March 18 years ago.
“Everyone immediately assumes I was a bad mother or that I was abusing him. I wasn’t.
“I distinctly remember dropping off Bryce at the babysitter’s before driving to work that day. I had a picture of him on my desk.
“Then I worked all day confident in the knowledge he was safe at the childminders, which shows how convinced I was he was there,”; she says.
“The only time I will be able to make amends properly is when I see him in heaven.
“I was like any other loving parent and assumed I’d never forget my baby in the car. I know there are people who read my story and say they’d never make the mistake I did.
“I pray you never do. But it happens so please even if you think you are not falliable get a car seat sensor, joining the campaign and protect your child.
“Even if having the sensor is a chance to tell another parent my story and warn them it may save a life.
“All I know is every parent I educate to be more aware is one more baby who is safer in Bryce’s memory.”;
