"My 7-Year-Old's Heartfelt Request to Put Down My Phone: Why I Believe Labour's Screen Time Guidelines Will Miss the Mark"

THERE’S no doubt the Government has turned nanny state by saying kids under five shouldn’t be allowed any more than one hour a day watching the likes of CoComelon and Peppa Pig.

Education Secretary hopes this guidance will help struggling parents “fighting a constant battle” with their children over too much screen time. I agree with the sentiment.

The Government has said kids under five shouldn’t be allowed any more than one hour a day watching the likes of CoComelon and Peppa PigCredit: Getty Bridget Phillipson hopes this guidance will help struggling parents ‘fighting a constant battle’ with their children over too much screen timeCredit: PA

But it is possibly one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

An adult telling a five-year-old what to do should be child’s play.

And if the meddling politicians wanted to interfere, they should have properly stamped their feet.

No pre-school kid even needs an hour of .

Science indicates that shoving tots in front of an addictive, flickering screen for that long can damage developing brains.

fresh guidance is likely to backfire, too.

They’ve given those idiot parents, who think and YouTube are educational, permission to ignore their kids for a full 60 minutes, totally guilt-free.

We’ve all heard about children rocking up at trying to swipe at the pages of reading books, barely able to dress themselves or use a toilet because the only life lessons they’ve learnt come from a screen.

Now, the HR director of one of Britain’s biggest water companies says problems are seeping into adulthood, too.

Neil Morrison, HR director at water company Severn Trent in the Midlands, said around ten per cent of young people joining its apprenticeship programme had the numeracy skills of an 11-year-old.

And after years of being glued to , these poor teenagers are unable to even tell the time on a real clock.

How sad that their lives have been blighted before they face the real world.

You could blame the teachers, who should be telling kids from the age of about six or seven how to tell the time.

But when they’re busy changing nappies in reception, there’s a backlog that mounts up.

I feel so sorry for the next generation.

Without vital maths skills, they won’t be able to work out payslips, tax, or budget for rent or food.

During Covid, kids were actually encouraged to use tablets more.

When we were all shoved into lockdown, they had to spend hours stuck to those brain-numbing devices to try to scramble together some sort of home education.

And now, up and down the land, kids are still using tablets instead of books and pencils for school work.

It is a vicious, never-ending cycle.

This fresh government guidance does talk some sense.

Tots under two don’t need to be on screens and parents should stop spending so much time on their own phones in front of their kids. I agree.

Brain-numbing devices

So many of us do it, me included. I wouldn’t dream of letting my seven-year-old son sit and scroll for an hour a day, but he sees me doing it from breakfast until bedtime.

I am ashamed to admit he’s even asked me at times to put my phone down.

Now we must all teach by example. A landmark case in America this week shows how vital that is.

Global giants and Google were found liable for a 20-year-old woman’s addiction to Instagram and , which began when she was a child.

A jury in LA decided both tech companies knew their apps posed a danger to minors and ordered them to pay millions in damages.

They are planning to fight this landmark verdict.

It’s time for parents to do some proper parenting — stop tots going on YouTube and tweens watching tablets at the dinner table to try to prevent the teens from doomscrolling.

We must take responsibility before it’s too late.

Because now that the bad platforms have been sued, the floodgates will open.

And those kids whose brains have been tortured by tablets will come for bad parents next.

Robot’s melted the ice maiden Melania

took the unusual step of nearly cracking a smile as she walked into a summit this week.

The notoriously frosty United States First Lady was not accompanied by the but by a humanoid robot called Figure 3.

Melania Trump took the unusual step of nearly cracking a smile as she walked into a summit this weekCredit: AFP The notoriously frosty United States First Lady was not accompanied by the Donald but by a humanoid robot called Figure 3Credit: Getty

And this nifty little gadget “takes care of household tasks like laundry, cleaning, and doing the dishes, all autonomously”.

I would smile, too, if I had one of those.

TIGER A SORRY STATE

THIS is probably easier for me to say than for a die-hard golf enthusiast.

is a selfish, reckless idiot who doesn’t deserve any sympathy at all.

Tiger Woods is a selfish, reckless idiot who doesn’t deserve any sympathy at allCredit: AP

He has been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence after rolling his car in a crash near his home.

Nothing can excuse potentially endangering the lives of others.

He’s been in plenty of crashes and has a prior conviction for reckless driving.

Maybe one of the most famous incidents was 17 years ago when he crashed into a tree and his cheating came out.

I met several of the women he’d slept with.

I was told he was self-obsessed and arrogant, a thrill-seeker who did what he wanted without caring about others.

He spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to keep these women quiet.

has apologised for his behaviour over the years.

But if you’re not going to learn from your mistakes, those are just hollow words.

He should use some of that money he likes to splash around on a full-time driver and rehab. He needs both.

PARTY LIKE FURY

EVERYONE loves a good wedding, don’t they?

And after seeing photos from the hen do of , I can’t wait to see snaps of the big day.

She threw a party for 300 guests at Morecambe Football Club.

Venezuela arrived in a tiara and veil, plus a gold number that reminded me of C-3PO.

There were security guards, a gold-coloured cake, an enormous sign saying “bride”, a frozen yoghurt stand and flowers for all the guests.

Even her hubby-to-be was there, along with mum Paris. Plus, the obligatory film crew.

It will have to be one big fat gypsy wedding to beat that.

A.I. IS A REAL DEVIL

WE are living in a time when all of us worry about which jobs AI may nick in the future.

But here’s one that is needed more than ever as a result of the rise of AI – being an exorcist.

The Pope is in a panic after being warned the new tech fuels ‘paganism and the occult’Credit: AFP

Not your average 9 to 5, granted, and not the easiest career to get into unless you have a passion for religion and the .

But apparently there is a recruitment crisis and more than 2,000 extra specialist priests are needed because devil worshippers are using AI.

is in a panic after being warned the new tech fuels “paganism and the occult”.

But before you knock out your CV (with the help of , obviously), there are some pitfalls.

Exorcists regularly get vomited on, sworn at and have nails spat at them by people who believe they are possessed by the devil.

Imagine that on your HR file.

COUNCILLOR Darryl Smalley summed up the fact that title, saying: “We don’t expect recipients of York’s highest honour to be saints. We simply do not want them to be best friends of convicted paedophiles.”

Well, quite.

RAT’S AN IDEA

GREAT excitement is spreading across after a capybara called escaped from near Winchester almost TWO WEEKS ago.

Kids are hunting for her and has offered free bananas to lure the roaming rodent home.

A capybara escaped from Marwell Zoo near Winchester (stock image)Credit: Getty

Meanwhile, bosses at the zoo are scrambling through archives to recall how they retrieved the last lot of giant rodents that escaped.

To lose one is careless – to do it again is just stupid.

Maybe they should try the same trick as .

Don’t empty the bins for weeks and watch that giant rat come running.