AN EXPERT on love has shared the one thing you need to make sure your relationship stands the test of time.
Arthur Brooks, a social professor at Harvard has studied the subject of love for over 25 years and found the one thing that keeps
Speaking onThe Drive podcastwith Peter Attia MD, the pair shared their insight on romantic .
During their chat, the pro explained that the key is finding a partner who you also see as your best friend.
He explained that this bond will remain even if the initial chemistry fizzles out.
Arthur: “One of the most important things for a happy life is a partnership with somebody who will be the last person who you set eyes on as you take your last dying breath, that is really, really important.”;
“The goal of your is not passion, it’s friendship. This is the goal, you must be close friends, ideally best friends, with your spouse.
“I’m going to be with my wife Ester until death do us part, that has to be the juice of the relationship where thelove actuallymakes happiness and love is truly the great secret to happiness.”;
He said that thereare also a couple of indicators that a marriage may end in – including people who feel lonely in their relationship.
The love expert used the example of ’empty nest syndrome’ which refers to parents experiencing sadness or distress when their children have grown into adults and moved out of the family home.
Arthur added:“The people who suffer the most from empty nest syndrome is not the empty nest it’s the fact that they are with one other bird and they don’t really like that bird.”;
He said that when two people have been together for a long time it can be normal – and even ‘advisable’ – that their passion levels are not as high as when they were fresh into their relationship.
According to the expert, low intimacy levels are “healthy, normal and actually advisable because it’s more sustainable in the long run.”;
Even those with no intimacy can be found to be happy as they have ‘very, very close personal lifelong friends,’ instead.
“Here is the key, if you don’t have a spouse you need real friends. These are people who know your secrets, take your 2am phone call and that you talk to a lot,”; he explained.
However, Arthur also said that it is still very important to ensure that you upkeep friendships with others even if you are in a marriage; adding that men are usually worse at keeping in touch with their pals.
“That is one of the reasons why men do so poorly when they lose their wives because a lot of them don’t have real friendships,”; he added.
And there was one major red flag your relationship was doomed.
The expert said: “One of the greatest predictors of divorce is partners who are lonely while living together and this [means] that the only thing you have in common is your kids.
“[When] that one point of commonality disappears and you’re sitting across the table blinking at each other during dinner and not talking because you literally have nothing to talk about.”;
To prevent this fate, Arthur said that it isimportant for married couples to partake in activities together, whether that is reading the same book, playing the same sports or even practicing the same to keep their bond strong and allow them to have things in common.
