Christina Haack, the HGTV star formerly known as Christina Anstead/Christina El Moussa, split from second husband Ant Anstead last fall. Their divorce was finalized a few weeks ago, and now he’s dating Renée Zellweger. Rather than do the boohoo over her ex banging a double Oscar-winner, Christina has moved on to Austin-based realtor Joshua Hall. They went Instagram official yesterday, and soon after Christina posted a small novel explaining the origins of their romance. She writes that, yep, she’s in yet another relationship, but she met Josh when she was in a really good place this past spring. Christina says that she took time off social media, hired a spiritual coach, and reset her brain by smoking psychedelic Bufo toad venom. Wait, what was that last one??
Here’s the post:
View this post on Instagram
I met Josh when I wasn’t in a state of fear or fight-or-flight … I had taken time off social, hired a spiritual coach and smoked a Bufo toad (which basically reset my brain and kicked out years of anxiety in 15 mins).
Then she goes on about how she and her new beau are totally in sync, they’ve had a “solid few months of just us,” but she’s scared for Josh and his family to get dragged and stalked by the media. Christina says she’s def a bit crazy, but she won’t live her life based on other people’s opinions. She adds that, yeah, she’s in “another relationship,” but guess what? She’s 38 years old and she’ll do what she wants.
But honestly, fuck all that noise, let’s talk about the mental health toad! Bufo Alvarius toads, also known as Colorado River toads or Sonoran Desert toads, are found in northern Mexico and the southwestern US. The toxins that ooze out of their skin contain 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenine, and those are hallucinogenic tryptamines. People say if you inhale the vapors of the toad’s secretions, you can hallucinate, become euphoric, and basically chill the hell out. Some have said the experience helped them connect to God, to which God replied, “Um, that wasn’t me.” People have been arrested for getting caught with this toad, cuz 5-MeO-DMT and bufotenine are controlled substances. Also, the venom can kill dogs. Don’t let your dogs lick the toads.
Now, I don’t know about Christina’s claim that it “reset” her brain and cured years of anxiety, but she’s not the only one who thinks this. A John Hopkins Psychedelics researcher conducted a survey with 362 people who routinely used toad venom. Of the 162 individuals who self-reported suffering from anxiety and depression, approximately 80% of them reported their mental health improved after their psychedelic experience. But what does the toad think?! “Bitch, stop stealing my slime and get your Flip or Flop ass into therapy!”
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