"My Stalker Boyfriend Hired the SAS to Find Me – What the Police Discovered in My Car Made Me Feel Ill"

READING my boyfriend Jim’s text, I began to shake. ‘I know where you are. I used an old contact in the SAS to track your car and I’m on my way,’ it said.

Terrified, I locked the door of my hotel room, then lay awake all night panicking.

Jennifer Riddaway was stalked by her ex boyfriend Ex-soldier James Lawlan stalked Jennifer during their relationship

I couldn’t believe the man I’d fallen in love with five years earlier was hunting me down.

I’d known James Lawlan, who I called Jim, throughout my teens and early 20s, but we’d lost touch when I settled down and trained as a lawyer.

Then, in early 2020, he messaged me on and we met up.

Both single, we fell for each other, and a few months later he moved in.

He’d been in the army, but was between tech jobs, and so was content to run the home while I worked long hours.

We were happy and Jim, now 50, was fun, but he drank heavily, saying it helped with his grief after losing his dad and cousin.

In 2021, he said he needed to cut down and I agreed to help, but a few weeks later, I came home from work and found him blind drunk.

‘Depressed and anxious’

I gently asked him how many drinks he’d had, and he snapped back: ‘How many cakes have you had?’

His words stung. At 15st, I’d always been curvy, but my wasn’t an issue for me and I didn’t think it was for Jim.

After that, he‘d get at me most days, saying I was ‘’ and accusing me of sleeping around, which was untrue.

Sometimes afterwards, he’d send long apologetic messages filled with self-pity to try to make me feel guilty.

Over the next two years, he slowly chipped away at my confidence, until I felt worthless

Other times, he’d pretend nothing had happened.

I tried persuading him to get help, and he’d agree, but then change his mind.

Over the next two years, he slowly chipped away at my confidence, until I felt worthless, and anxious.

Turning to food for comfort, I went up to 18st. I tried to stand up to him, but I felt ashamed, as though it was my fault I was in this mess.

The couple were happy when they first got

He would manipulate me, crying and saying how much he missed his dad, so I didn’t feel I could throw him out.

I loved him, but I hated what he was doing to us both. Meanwhile, he was drinking even more – up to 12 pints of lager and a bottle of wine or whisky a night.

He couldn’t hold down a job and I had to support him. Things escalated when, December 2024, Jim got drunk and began accusing me of seeing other men.

Wearily, I went to bed to escape him, but he followed and grabbed me by the arms.

I called 999 and the police came and arrested him, then released him without charge the following day.

Frightened that the situation would escalate, I told myself the relationship was over – but when he begged for a second chance, promising to quit the drink and seek therapy, I agreed.

I was so anxious, I’d physically shake at work, and I was so afraid of going home that I began booking hotel rooms twice a week to avoid him

For a few days, he stuck to his word. Then, it all started again.

I was so , I’d physically shake at work, and I was so afraid of going home that I began booking hotel rooms twice a week to avoid him.

That night in September 2025, when he claimed to have tracked my car, he thankfully never appeared – but I realised I couldn’t take any more and I went to the police.

An officer searched my car and found a tracker inside a sock – and I realised his story about an SAS friend was a lie.

He’d been stalking me himself. I was physically sick – the betrayal was heartbreaking.

‘Immense relief’

Arrested and bailed, Jim was ordered to stay away from me, and he moved in with his mum.

Meanwhile, I had help from officers, and my home was fitted with an alarm, doorbell camera and fire-proof letterbox.

In November, James appeared at Chester Magistrates’ Court and pleaded guilty to .

He was given a five-year restraining order, a community order and six months of alcohol treatment.

Sentencing him, the judge said that references to my weight amounted to .

The relief I felt was immense. Now free of him, I’ve lost 3st and, slowly, my confidence is returning.

I’d like other people in my situation to know that help is out there. It took a lot of courage and resolve for me to finally go to the police, but it was worth it.

Please speak out – because someone will listen.”

Visit Paragonteam.org.uk/domestic-abuse-and-stalking .