WITH her radio presenting job and late night gigs, mum-of-one Charlie Hedges can often be away from home for long periods of time.
But the 39-year-old, who returned to work just six weeks after giving birth to her daughter, Summer-Rose, now three, has told how she doesn’t believe in having “mum guilt” and thinks the term should be “deleted” altogether.
Charlie Hedges has told how she doesn’t believe in ‘mum guilt’Credit: Getty
The radio host with her daughter Summer-Rose, threeCredit: instagram/charliehedgesdj
Charlie has just launched the third series of the CBebbies Parenting Helpline, where her and childcare experts take calls from frazzled parents to help with their worries, concerns and simply to help anyone feel less alone.
Nothing is off limits with readers discussing sex ruts, screen-time and how to navigate the worlds of parenthood and it can be an utter saviour to help you de-stress before and during the festive period. Trust us!
But there’s one issue that’s niggled Charlie since she retuned back to work co-hosting the BBC 1 breakfast show with Rickie Haywood-Williams and – and it’s an issue that often peaks around Christmas … ‘mum guilt’.
“I said that when I went back to work after around six weeks after having Summer-Rose, I wasn’t going to allow myself to have mum guilt,” she tells Fabulous.
“I don’t believe in it, I don’t think any parent should.
“Whether you’re a stay at home parent (which is a job – it’s the hardest job), or you’re out working, you are in my , doing what you do to provide for your child.
“So whatever that looks like, why should you feel guilty for doing that? No, I won’t have it.”
Charlie, who lives with her partner, whose identity she likes to keep private, goes on to say that there are of course some nights where she’ll be out late and going to a gig on her own and her mind will go into “overdrive.”
However, she’ll call her mum who she says kicks her back into gear and reminds her of her “reason.”
“She’ll say to me, ‘why are you doing what you’re doing?’
“Every parent is trying to do the best for their child so I think mum guilt should be deleted. I don’t even think it should be a thing.”
FESTIVE STRESS
With the daily juggle of work and parenting, not to mention fast approaching, chances are many of us will soon be feeling the pressures of the festive season – and you’re not alone.
Over half of families are thinking more about the cost of compared to this time last year, according to new research commissioned by CBeebies Parenting.
“If you’re quickly flicking through Instagram in the run up to Christmas, you’re going to see loads of people going on big Santa experiences and wearing matching pyjamas, which all cost money,” Charlie explains.
“Of course, I love that for people’s families – if that’s your thing, you do you, love it, but then I do think it comes with a lot of pressures.”
She continues: “Every household is different, every family situation is different and in life naturally there’s always going to be comparisons, but you’ve just got to put your phone down and look at what you have got.
“We’ve just got to be kind to each other and be kind to ourselves. We’re all so hard on ourselves for different reasons and why? We’ve got to sort it out and look after each other.”
The DJ is back with the CBeebies Parenting Helpline, offering advice on how to have a simple but magical ChristmasCredit: CBeebies Parenting Helpline
Summer-Rose favourite Christmas memory is having hot chocolate with marshmallowCredit: instagram/charliehedgesdj
And Charlie is back with the CBeebies Parenting Helpline which helps to support families with expert-led advice and resources to keep things simple this Christmas without losing the magic.
For the star, Christmas isn’t about the spent on materialistic gifts, it’s about the “really simple stuff” instead.
She recalls: “The biggest memory I’ve got is helping my mum and dad on Christmas Eve put all the picky bits of food out, like the peanuts and Twiglets – it was such a big deal.
“We wouldn’t have breakfast that day, we’d just be eating a load of rubbish – it was just something we looked forward to.”
Another thing that makes Christmas so special for Charlie is passing down family traditions from when she was a little girl.
“My mum and dad would lift me and my brother up and we’d always put the angel on top of the Christmas tree together,” she says.
“Even when myself and my brother moved out, still up until this day, my mum and dad do not put that angel on the tree until we’re altogether.
Every parent is trying to do the best for their child so I think mum guilt should be deleted. I don’t even think it should be a thing
Charlie Hedges, Radio 1 DJ
“Now I’ve got a little girl and my brother’s got his little boy.
“I’d love for someone to watch us do it because obviously we can’t be lifted up anymore but we all like touch hands and do it together – it’s the really simple things.”
She adds: “I can’t remember any presents, we were really fortunate we did of course get presents from Santa, but it’s not those memories I can honestly remember.
“I remember the Christmas Eve’s, the food, the watching TV.”
THE ‘SIMPLE’ THINGS
Charlie goes on to share her advice to help plan a simple but magical Christmas.
“For me it’s as simple as a hot chocolate, getting some marshmallows and putting a on,” she says.
The DJ, who presents Radio 1’s Dance Anthems, recalls taking Summer-Rose to see Santa a couple of week’s ago.
“She’s really outgoing normally and loves people, but we got there and she got scared,” Charlie explains.
“She didn’t want a photo with Santa and do you know what she said to me? ‘Can we go home and make a hot chocolate?'”
The mum-of-one-continues: “You’ve got kids going into school and saying they’re going to see Santa and you feel that pressure to overachieve, but it’s funny what kids actually want.”
GIFTS ON A BUDGET
And when it comes to giving presents this Christmas, you haven’t got to fork out a small fortune – with Charlie pointing out that handmade crafts and goodies can often feel the most special.
The DJ has had several experts on the podcast, including Sophie David ( @LittleHappyLearners ), who will be sharing her Christmas crafting ideas on the episode airing on 4th December.
Speaking of one of her suggestions, the mum-of-one says: “It was absolute genius. She had this beautiful idea of cookies in a jar.
“She gets the really basic ingredients to make cookies, layers them up in a jar and puts a little note on them and that’s what her kids give family members for their presents.
“Yes the ingredients still need to be bought, but when she broke the costings down, I thought it was really clever.
“It looks so beautiful and it’s a homemade gift – we’re going to make one for my auntie this year.
For Charlie, it’s these sorts of homemade presents that have the most meaning.
“Summer-Rose came home from school and she’d made a Christmas card for me, my partner and mum and dad and you can imagine that card – it’s hilarious! But I’d rather that than anything and I really mean that.
“Presents and gifts have never been important to me or my family. I’d rather a day with my family because time for me is so much more important.”
Charlie with her daughter Summer-Rose visiting HamleysCredit: Getty
The mum-of-one, who spends often spends time away for work, thinks mum guilt should be ‘deleted’Credit: Getty
JUGGLING ACT
Mental load parents carry at Christmas contributes significantly to festive stress, with nearly a quarter saying the planning and organising are the hardest parts of the season, followed by managing costs and family commitments, according to the research findings.
And for the busy working mum, the biggest challenge at Christmas time is managing her diary.
“Obviously I have my little girl now and she’s started her school and she’s got Christmas plays coming up – her schedule’s busier than mine!” Charlie laughs.
“The amount of emails I get from her lovely school is more than I get from work!
“I’m finding the scheduling really challenging to be honest – just trying to get everyone together, making sure we have enough family time, and obviously I’m here there and everywhere playing gigs and on the .
“I do feel very lucky that I love my job and love what I do but managing people’s diaries and getting us together as a family is crazy, but we make it happen!”
Charlie, who says she’s “old school,” keeps on top of her busy schedule by “writing things down” and highlighting.
She explains: “I can’t use online diaries. I’ve got an old school diary that funnily enough is the present my dad has bought me every single year.
“He writes a little note in it wishing me luck for the next year.”
And her mum and dad are the two important people in her life that she credits for helping to keep her organised.
We’ve just got to be kind to each other and be kind to ourselves. We’re all so hard on ourselves for different reasons and why?
Charlie Hedges, Radio 1 DJ
She explains: “I can’t pull the wool over everyone’s eyes because my mum and dad honestly, without them I’d be screwed.
“They give up so much – it makes me tear up thinking about it.
“My mum and dad helping so much allows me to do what I’m doing and have a career and that’s the God’s honest truth.
“So I can be as organised as I want but genuinely without them, I don’t know how I would do it.”
Like many parents, Charlie is facing her first year of trying to decide what Christmas present to gift Summer-Rose’s school teacher.
Sharing the sweet idea that mums at her daughter’s school have come up with, she says: “One of the lovely mums has organised a card for all of the with all the kids faces on it and then we’ve just put a couple of quid in each for them to get a gift card.”
As for what she’d really love as a present this Christmas, Charlie says: “I’d take a full day without my phone and spend it with my family.
“Genuinely, gifts I couldn’t care less about. I just want a day where all of us are together and no one has to look at an email.
“We’ll just have a cuddle, watch a and enjoy some time together, so that’s what I’m going to go this Christmas for sure.”
BEHIND THE SCENE SECRETS OF THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
The radio host is set to appear in ‘The Celebrity Apprentice’ for Children In NeedCredit: Getty
She’ll join 11 other famous faces as they head to Lapland to make and sell a new festive biscuitCredit: PA
Charlie will soon be hitting our screens as she comes face-to-face with Lord Sugar in the boardroom on The Celebrity Apprentice.
She’ll be joined by 11 other famous faces including , , JB Gill and Rob Rinder for the two-part Christmas special.
The episodes will see the celebrities all head to Lapland where they’re tasked with making and selling a new festive biscuit, with a percentage of the profits going to .
Speaking of her time on the show, she says: “It was an experience of a lifetime!
“I have been a fan of this show for so many years, I cannot tell you.
“I’ve been the person who has been sat on my sofa saying, ‘Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that decision’s been made.’
“And now, do you know what? It’s payback time for me!”
Mum-of-two Naomi, 46, from Essex loathes matching Xmas jammies…
“I think matching Christmas pyjamas for all the family should be banned.
But my kids Fleur, 16, and Rocco, ten, insist on following the trend, and I’m not quite Scrooge enough to deny them such a simple pleasure — as painful as I find it.
Both my hubby Haydn, 52, a developer, and I think Christmas is so over-commercialised, and the toxic overload from relentless TV ads and social media hits me like a ton of bricks at this time of year.
But who actually started this horrendous matching PJs trend?
I’ve fought against it for years, yet somehow every December, it creeps back into my house like unwanted glitter or Christmas tree pine needles that refuse to be vacuumed up.
All those bright red polyester sets, screaming, ‘Look how festive we are!’, while I’m thinking, ‘How did I end up here?’
It’s not just the forced cheer or the synthetic fabrics that cling in all the wrong places. And don’t even get me started on the lack of sustainability.
For me, it’s the sheer try-hardness of it all. All that performative posing for Instagram — the staged fireside smiles, the matching Santa mug props.
For some mums it’s all about ‘content’ — but you’re not making memories, it’s all about looking like the perfectly polished family in public.
Come January, charity shops (and some people’s bins) will be jammed full of tacky Christmas pyjamas no one wants, or has use for, with many mums opting to buy a new set each and every year.”
She adds: “I’ve always wanted to do something for and never dreamt of getting asked to do something like .
“It was the best experience – I can”t even tell you – it was just the best!”
As a huge fan of the show, there was one part of behind-the-scenes filming that really took Charlie by surprise.
“I couldn’t believe the timings in terms of for example, when you’re being set challenges and tasks – if you’ve got 40 minutes, you’ve actually got 40 minutes.
“There’s no, ‘give them an extra five.” No, no, it’s 40 minutes so you need to get an idea because that’s what’s going to the boardroom!
“So I found that really interesting because you wouldn’t know watching it whether there’s extra time behind the scenes.”
CBeebies Parenting can be found www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/parenting and on BBC iPlayer and BBC Sounds . The latest series of CBeebies Parenting Helpline presented by Charlie Hedges starts today on BBC Sounds.
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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