"Furious Mom Slapped with £80 Fine While Ex Takes Their Child on Holiday During School Term with New Family"

I WAS dropping my eight-year-old daughter, Mabel, at her primary school near our house in Cornwall on Tuesday morning when the headteacher called my name across the playground.

One look at his nervous face told me it wasn’t good news.

Rebecca with her daughter MabelCredit: Rebecca Tidy

He told me that my ex – Mabel’s dad – had emailed the school a “holiday permission form” that very morning, requesting consent for a trip to in 48 hours time with him, his wife and their three-year-old and six-week-old baby.

I’d barely registered the surprising fact that a trip to France had been booked when I heard the headteacher say that he didn’t grant permission for the holiday.

He added that her dad and I would both be hit with an £ 0 fine as it was an “unauthorised” term time trip.

I was exasperated by the latest inconvenience.

Rebecca is ‘enraged’ she is being charged despite not making the choice to take her child out of school during term-timeCredit: Supplied

After all, I don’t remember agreeing to with the school. And I certainly don’t approve of the parenting package on offer.

But the headteacher explained that he must fill out a form for every single absence, and that an unauthorised one automatically triggers a council-issued fine.

The whole thing felt very “computer says no” with every kid squeezed into this one-size-fits-all approach.

It was at this point that I learned that as a , I’m apparently responsible for whether my ex – a man I couldn’t even persuade to take his shoes off before entering the living room during our 15 year marriage – follows the rules.

And if he chooses to ignore them, I’m expected to pick up the bill.

It’s enraging that I just can’t win in this scenario. I’m either fined for an absence I didn’t authorise or I’m labelled as the ‘bitter mum’ that ‘ruined the trip to Disney,’ according to the pleasant trolls on X.

If I raise the issue at school, then I’m labelled a ‘difficult woman’. And if I call out my ex, then I’m shamed for not co-parenting better.

Both ways, I’m the problem.

Sometimes it honestly feels like there’s a secret plot to make single parents extinct.

Rebecca Tidy, 38

This kind of thing would’ve made me furious a few years ago. Now, sadly, I find myself worn down by the sheer absurdity of yet another situation where – no matter what I do – I just can’t keep everyone happy.

It hasn’t escaped my notice that all of this was raised with me, not him, because like many mums I’m the default point of contact for absolutely everything.

I feel the need to point out that I’m not remotely anti-holiday. Mabel loves them, whether it’s a bargain break at Haven or a trip to Lapland, so a well-planned trip – with advance notice – is no problem.

I can’t help but wonder whether the school would’ve been so quick to decide on a fine if there had been slightly more warning of this trip.

Rebecca Tidy on holiday with MabelCredit: Rebecca Tidy

Mabel absolutely adores spending time with her dad. My own father died when I was a child, so I’m very grateful that my daughter gets to spend time with hers.

What bothers me is the expectation that I should be held responsible for another adult’s behaviour.

In 2026, I find it a bit ridiculous that women are still being punished for men’s decisions.

Whoever wrote the national school attendance policy doesn’t seem to understand how single parenting actually works.

You can’t just ring an ex, ask them to behave, and expect cooperation.

I’ve been waiting since before Christmas for a mountain of my daughter’s clothes to make it back home from his house.

Sometimes it honestly feels like there’s a secret plot to make single parents extinct.

I don’t understand why the government is prioritising school attendance over family relationships

Rebecca Tidy , 38

I gave up my full-time lecturing job to juggle five or six freelance roles across journalism, and research, all with no job security, simply so I can work flexibly enough to manage both school runs and keep the lights on.

In the last month alone, I’ve spent £550 on boiler repairs, £900 for a new work laptop and an unexpected £1,800 electricity bill after switching to a smart meter.

I’ve just paid £870 in annual service charges for communal hedge cutting and road maintenance, as the council no longer does this on new-build states.

‘Changing my ex’s behaviour’ is just another ‘job’ I’m expected to add to the long list of impossible things that I’m apparently expected to achieve before breakfast.

For the school, fining single parents, however, appears to remain a priority.

The online response to my predicament was woefully predictable, with men confidently telling me there’s an easy solution.

I should shut up and pay the £80 or I should be firm and stop the holiday altogether, even calling the police if necessary.

Needless to say, no sane parent is going to call the police in these circumstances.

My daughter knew about the trip before I did, already planning her princess dress and which rides she wanted to go on.

She’d be traumatised if the police arrested her dad at the airport while she travelled to meet Elsa and Mickey.

It would be cruel and completely disproportionate.

In the end, I begrudgingly handed over her passport and let the trip go ahead.

Rebecca believes the education system has it’s priorities wrongCredit: Wayne Perry

I don’t understand why the government is prioritising school attendance over family relationships whether it’s free breakfast clubs, longer school days or fines to force compliance.

Too many parents already treat the place like it’s a free babysitting service and expect teachers to shoulder responsibility for everything, from poor behaviour to basic boundaries.

Needless to say, I’m not one of them.

Education is taken extremely seriously in our house.

If anything, I’m a tiger mum, much to Mabel’s dismay, because she’d happily be glued to her iPad all day.

We squeeze swimming, two gymnastics training sessions, French lessons and horse riding classes into our weekly schedule, alongside reading and maths each night at the dining room table.

And it shows. She’s thriving.

I find it infuriating that well-behaved children are penalised and responsible parents are fined, while disruptive behaviour in class – due to poor parenting – is often tolerated with endless excuses.

Rebecca has no issues with her daughter’s dad but is furious she’s having to pay for his decisionsCredit: Supplied

If schools really want to talk about accountability, they might start by holding parents responsible when their children repeatedly disrupt lessons or upset other pupils, rather than punishing single parents over holidays they didn’t book.

All I can say is that the world has gone mad if I’m expected to monitor another adult’s behaviour and somehow predict when he might break the rules.

I will be challenging this fine when it arrives, even if doing so costs me more than £80, because parents should not simply roll over and accept schools and councils policing family life by default.

The idea that I now need to fill out a permission slip and ask a man in a lanyard if my child is allowed to leave the country with her dad is so tragic that it’s frankly hilarious.