STANDING in the school playground with my hand cradling my baby bump, I suddenly felt the smile fade from my face.
I had just told a couple of school mums my happy news – I was expecting my third child at 42.
“Was the a mistake?”;; one asked, bluntly.
Another said, in a horrified tone:“You’re going to be 47 when the baby starts school.”;;
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. My baby wasn’t even born, yet I was being met with a barrage of negativity.
For me, falling pregnant in your fortiesis an absolute blessing – especially for someone like , who has been trying for decades to have a baby.
But she should brace herself, as not everyone will be overjoyed.
There have already been snide comments online, with trolls commenting that she is too old to have a baby at 44 – and speaking from personal experience, I’m sad to tell that won’t be the end of it.
I was overjoyed and felt blessed to fall pregnant at 42.
I was already mum to Nancy, now 15, and Ivy, 12, but I knew a third would complete my family.
I had heard the term online, so I went on and all I saw was ‘risk, risk, risk’.
The message from all sorts of websites was all“You’re too old”;;, or “There’s going to be a problem with your pregnancy, or your baby.”;;
Although I was thrilled, the experience was tainted even in those early stages by all the negativity.
By the time I was eight weeks along, I started telling close family and friends I was expecting.
Even from those I loved the most, I was met with negativity.
“I can’t believe you’re doing it again,”;; someone said. Another added: “I thought you were past changing nappies.”;;
I even got: “The sleepless nights will kill you in your forties.”;;
I was judged, time and again – to my face.
I began to question my decision. Was I REALLY to have a baby?
As Liz scrolls the hateful comments online, it’s likely she will ask herself the same questions – even though this is something she has said she’s wanted for years.
Ten weeks into my pregnancy, a midwifein her fiftiescame to my house and sat with me while filling out some paperwork.
She asked my date of birth and when I said “1976”;;, she visibly gasped.
I was shocked and that moment will stay with me forever.
On a section of the notes called ‘Area of Concern’, she wrote in big letters:M. The experience really knocked my confidence.
I began to feel terribly anxious that something was going to go wrong, even though I was healthy and had an easy pregnancy.
Everyone had this attitude that I was selfish for bringing a child into the world when I’d likely be dead before they had grown up.
I actually felt really blessed to be pregnant at my age. I thought I was one of the lucky ones.
Fortunately, my husband Dan, 41, an advertising project manager, was supportive the whole way through and didn’t think about age at all.
And he didn’t get a murmur of negativity from anyone when we shared the news. It was all directed at me.
I hope Lizdoesn’t let the trolling ruin her experience.
I began to feel terribly anxious that something was going to go wrong, even though I was healthy and had an easy pregnancy.
I was around five months pregnant when I realised other women were probably going through the same experiences, so I set up my Geriatric Mum blog.
Lots messaged me with all sorts of personal stories. One woman had lost her first husband and so fell pregnant in her forties.
Others had struggles and had spent years trying to get pregnant. It’s not necessarily this idea of women putting their careers first – but even if they do, that’s fine.
Buckle up, Liz, and put your blinkers on – people can be very outspoken and it’s hard, especially when you are pregnant and already feeling a bit emotional.
She will get some hate online and it may well be tough-going. But she should enjoy every minute of the experience.
Nine months goes by in the blink of an eye, so we shouldn’t let the naysayers ruin it. Having a baby is a beautiful experience, whatever your age. We should all make an effort to make it special for everyone.
Most of the abuse is directed towards women, of course. had a baby in his seventies, but no one called him a ‘geriatric dad’.
I was absolutely elated when my son, Rocky, was born.
It was a tricky birth and I nearly had to go for an emergency c-section, but this also happened with my first child, who was born when I was 34.
I hope Lizdoesn’t let the trolling ruin her experience.
I honestly don’t think being a ‘geriatric mum’ made any difference to my birth experience. If anything, it made me wiser and more in tune with my body.
I’m 49 now andRocky, is six.
I don’t even think about my age. I’m a confident parent because of my age and I’m more myself than ever. Having Rocky at 43 was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
I was 47 when I proudly walked him to primary school and, luckily, I haven’t died yet.
