Silent night and Christmas just don’t quite feel the same Credit: Getty
For many, Christmas and New Year represent a time of joy, laughter, and celebrations with friends and family.
However, those in Scotland who have lost a loved one in 2025 may approach the season with different priorities.
The festive season can be challenging for those who have experienced loss
Credit: Getty
Large celebrations can be difficult to navigate when you are dealing with grief.
Grief coach Lisa Hague notes that many of her clients are apprehensive about the upcoming festivities.
She explains that there are ways to acknowledge your loss during Christmas, along with coping strategies to assist grieving Scots as they face the weeks ahead.
Lisa stated: “All of my clients have mentioned the C-word recently. They are beginning to realize, ‘Oh God, Christmas is approaching’.
“It becomes evident that those who are genuinely excited about Christmas and speak of the season with such joy are likely those who haven’t lost anyone.
“All of my clients who are struggling at this time are dreading Christmas. They genuinely wish to isolate themselves and wait until January arrives.”
Lisa, who experienced the stillbirth of her daughter Lola in 2008, acknowledges that grief is challenging to manage throughout the year.
However, it can become even more pronounced during significant celebrations when those around you are joyful.
She remarked: “The advice I provide to my clients is that grief doesn’t adhere to the calendar. It’s not something we can simply turn on and off.
“Being kind to yourself is essential; your well-being takes precedence over tradition. If there’s a party or gathering that you don’t wish to attend, it’s perfectly fine to skip it. I always ask, ‘Is it harmful or healing?’ How does it make you feel?
“Is it enjoyable to be around everyone and attend the party? If it is on a day when you feel capable, then go. But if you don’t want to attend, you can always make your excuses.”
The expert, who runs counseling sessions and grief retreats, emphasizes the importance of including those you have lost in any celebrations you partake in during the season.
Lisa, along with her husband – former Celtic and Scotland star Kris Commons – and their three children, always commemorate baby Lola during Christmas.
She shared: “As we move forward with our grief, it’s beneficial to incorporate the person you’ve lost into your daily activities.
“For us, we have a bauble on the Christmas tree for Lola. In fact, we have several—one with her name on it and another featuring angel wings. We also light a candle. Some families choose to leave a chair for that person at the table or raise a glass on Christmas Day.
“These are meaningful ways to honor and keep your loved one part of the day, even if they cannot be physically present.”
Another challenge for those grieving is the feeling of leaving their loved one behind.
As 2026 approaches, it can be difficult for people to say goodbye to the year in which their family member or friend passed away.
Lisa encourages her clients to focus on progressing with their grief. “Consider how to bring your person into 2026.
“Will you participate in fundraising? Will you hold a special event in their honor? Think about what you want to do in 2026 to keep your loved one close to you.”
Grief coach Lisa Hague shares her top tips for those struggling during the winter
Credit: Getty
Another issue people face is guilt—feeling bad for enjoying the season after losing someone close to them.
The coach explained: “For those who can engage in the enjoyable aspects of the season, being fully present at the Christmas party is wonderful. There is no reason to feel guilty.
“Extract what you can from Christmas without succumbing to the pressure of tradition.
“Guilt is one of the primary reasons clients seek my sessions, and overcoming it is one of the most significant breakthroughs one can achieve.
“When I underwent counseling, the first thing my counselor advised me was to examine the grief cycle. Each stage of the grief cycle serves a purpose, except for guilt. Guilt will only hinder your progress; it doesn’t serve any constructive purpose.
“By addressing that quickly and processing it, I am now fully present with my family.
“For me now, I no longer find myself thinking we shouldn’t be happy or shouldn’t be doing this because, for instance, my grandad isn’t here.
“If my grandad knew I was sad on Christmas because he wasn’t part of the day, he’d be furious with me for that.
“I can draw on the wisdom of those who have passed in my life for guidance.
“And if I were to pass away, my children would know I would want them to enjoy that day to the fullest because life is precious and time is limited.”
Lisa can be reached on her Instagram at Hague_griefcoach.
Eze Chidiebere Paul
I'm dedicated to creating high-quality content that informs, inspires, and delights. If you have any questions or suggestions, don't hesitate to get in touch. Happy reading!
Related to this topic:
