"Many Working Dads Still Hesitant to Request Childcare Leave, Despite Desire for Equal Parenting"

Table of Contents

• Nervous Dads Seeking Time Off
• Feeling Judged
• Different Parenting Techniques
• Missing Out on Key Events

Half of working fathers still feel "anxious" about requesting time off to care for their children.

A study involving 5,000 employed fathers revealed that 74 percent wish to fully embrace equal parenting roles but still sense a stigma surrounding their requests for time away from work.

Over 30% believe employers should advocate for equal leave policies for all gendersCredit: Getty

Additionally, 21 percent have faced questions like “Where’s your wife/partner?” when asking for flexibility to manage their responsibilities.

Moreover, 20 percent have been questioned about the urgency of their requests, and 19 percent have been asked to find alternative childcare solutions.

If they muster the courage to seek more flexibility, two-thirds believe they would receive it—though not without some hesitation or probing questions first.

Beyond these inquiries, other obstacles to equitable parenting include dads feeling guilty about asking colleagues to cover their work (24 percent) and a desire not to be viewed unfavorably by their boss (22 percent).

For 20 percent, there's also the lingering belief that their partner is expected to handle all childcare responsibilities.

While they may be trying to keep their coworkers satisfied, 78 percent admitted this has negatively impacted their, their partner’s, or their child's health.

Jane van Zyl, CEO of Working Families, which commissioned the research in collaboration with Wates Group, supported by Parenting Out Loud, Dad Shift, and The Fatherhood Institute, stated: “Although dads are increasingly vocal about their needs and rights as working parents, we still have a long way to go before achieving true equality.”

Nikunj Upadhyay, HR Director for the Land and Development Division and I&D Director at Wates Group, remarked: “We acknowledge that while many fathers aspire to play an equal role in parenting, this research confirms that stigma and anxiety still exist for working dads throughout the UK, with many feeling judged or questioned for placing their family first.

“Yet, our experiences demonstrate that when organizations take action by offering improved, flexible paternity or partner leave and foster a supportive culture, the effects are significant.

“Fathers have shared that our 12-week policy has allowed them to be present for their families during crucial moments, share responsibilities more equitably, and return to work feeling valued rather than penalized.”

Anna Whitehouse, founder of Mother Pukka and advocate for parental equality, noted: “Until fathers receive support at work to take on caregiving responsibilities, mothers will continue to be pushed into the role of default parent, regardless of their personal choice.

“Parents, especially women, desire options, rather than a life constrained by outdated expectations—yet more than one in five dads are still asked, ‘Where’s your wife?’ when seeking flexibility, and one in five report that their partner is simply assumed to take on all childcare duties.

“Until we all adhere to the same standards, women will remain at a disadvantage in terms of salary and career advancement, while fathers will be excluded from the caregiving they wish to provide.”

Feeling Judged

The survey also revealed that 35 percent of fathers did not take as much time off as they would have liked when their child was born—six percent did not take any time at all.

This may be due to the fact that 62 percent feel judged regularly for prioritizing family obligations over work commitments.

Additionally, 13 percent would still feel uncomfortable taking their full entitled leave if they were to have another child, with primary concerns being the potential impact on their career advancement (32 percent) or the fear of being replaced (22 percent).

Meanwhile, 69 percent of working dads continue to feel the pressure to be the primary breadwinner.

This sentiment is mirrored in workplace attitudes towards each parent regarding flexibility, with 44 percent believing their employers treat mothers more favorably when it comes to offering flexibility to accommodate childcare needs.