CHAMPIONS LEAGUE? You’rehaving a laugh.
We’ve all heard it. The derisory chant from opposition fans when one ofthe so-called ‘big guns’ is having an off day.


For example, supporters had every right to aim it at the multi-billionaires of last weekend, when they couldn’t find a way past the worst team in the .
Only now what was once a mildly amusing terrace jibe sums up perfectly what the leading club competition in the world has become. A joke.
Next season there will be a record SIX English teams in the .
Almost one third of the entire Premier League will be waved straight into the bizarre league phase by Uefa’s welcoming doormen at an empty small town disco on a wet Tuesday night.
Anyone can come in. From who finished top, right down to hapless or abject hovering above the relegation zone.
It is time to officially ban the phrase ‘elite competition’ whenever the Champions League is mentioned on TV and radio or written in print.
There was a time when you had to win your domestic league to progress into the highest level of European football the following season.
Simple as that.

We are now at a point where English Premier League teams have to work harder to stay out of the modern Champions League than to get in.
Spurs and Man United, regular participants in the past, have done spectacularly well trying to cock up their seasons. Yet
by virtue of winning the one of them will be alongside Liverpool, and , the already declared winners of their respective leagues.
Erratic , under the guidance of boss, have lost to , and .
From winning five Premier League games in a row, they went winless in the next five and couldn’t string a pass together.
They lag 20 POINTS behind the bona fide champions of England from Anfield and are fifth.
Don’t bet against them being in next season’s Champions League.
The constant tinkering and chiselling away at a once simple game has ledto Uefa getting its knickers in a right old twist.
Fifth in this year’s Premier League grants a free pass into the treasure trove of the Champions League thanks to the coefficients which measure success where once it was about winning.
A whole page is devoted to thrill-a-minute ‘coefficients’ on the governing body’s website to explain how a system that would baffle Stephen Hawking’s much cleverer cousin actually works: “Uefa calculates the coefficient of each club each season based on the clubs’ results in the Uefa Champions League, Uefa Europa League and .
“The season coefficients from the five most recent seasons are used to rank the clubs for seeding purposes (sporting club coefficient).
“In addition, the season coefficients from the ten most recent seasons are used to calculate revenue club coefficients for revenue distribution purposes only.”;;
And that’s just the overview.
There’s a gag in there somewhere about how many coefficients does it take to ruin a game of football? Only I can’t see a funny punch line.
There was a time back when the world was black and white in the 1950s when two imaginative French journalists took inspiration from South America and came up with the idea of the best clubs from each country competing for a trophy on our continent.
Ironically, it wasn’t called the Champions League back then. It was the plain old European Cup. A cup fought over by teams in Europe. Simple eh?
Liverpool’s first steps into the European Cup came in 1964, our sole representatives having won the league the previous season under Bill Shankly.
Next season they share the honour with five other English teams and some of them are pretty ordinary.
If Spurs win the Europa League and follow it up by winning the Champions League next year, the champions of Europe will come from a team currently 17th in England’s top division.
You can argue it won’t happen. Yet somehow a side which has lost more league games than it has won this season is in a European final next week.
That’s cup football for you and it’s a wonderful lottery. Qualification for the Champions League is not. It’s a boring carve up.
