WATCHING his daughter playing with her cousins, Steven D’Achille feels a mix of both pride and sadness.
Seeing Adriana, now 11, thrive is nothing but a joy but Steven only wishes her mum was there to see it.
It was just six weeks after her birth that his wife Alexis took her own life after battling with severe
Alexis went to seek help but Steven feels that not enough was done and he is determined to spread awareness to stop other families suffering like his.
“We tried to seek help, but no-one would take her seriously,”; claims Steven, 42 from .
“We went to seven different and in her last two weeks, but no one seemed to believe her when she told them how bad she was.”;
The couple got in October 2009, a couple of years after meeting at a mutual friend’s birthday party.
“I noticed her as she first walked through the door. She had on jean shorts and stripy pink sandals,”; remembers Steven.
“The music was playing the song ‘Music Makes me Lose Control’ and in that second, I couldn’t have agreed more.
“Our eyes locked, and I felt my stomach turn over.
“I think I fell in love with Alexis the moment I laid eyes on her. We sat on the balcony together and talked into the early hours until the sun came up.
“From then on we became a couple. We were so close and talked about everything.
“I knew that she wanted more than anything to be a mum one day. We both came from big families, and we wanted that for ourselves too.”;
A few years later, Alexis discovered she was and the couple were thrilled.
“I’m a triplet, and my triplet sister was pregnant at the same time as Alexis, so they were excited together,”; said Steven.
“It was a year full of celebration in our family.”;
But Steven says that all changed the day Adriana was born.
“Being young and fit and healthy, Alexis wasn’t a priority for the midwives on the ward as there was a high risk pregnancy and a mum delivering multiples,”; Steven explains.
“So when Alexis said to the doctor that she felt like she needed to push, the doctor told us just to sit it out and not to push for another few hours.
“But just 12 minutes later, Adriana came into the world, and she had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.
“She wasn’t breathing. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to come and help.
“Medical staff did rush to her side, including the doctor who had told her not to push, and thankfully they did manage to get Adriana breathing again.
“But I looked into Alexis’s eyes – they looked glassed over, as if a light had gone out. And she was never the same after that.
“She was in shock after what had just happened, and she just kept saying to me that she had harmed our daughter within seconds of her coming into the world.
“I kept telling her that it wasn’t her fault, but she could never accept that she hadn’t done anything wrong.”;
That night I held her close and asked her to promise she wouldn’t do anything
Steven D'Achille
As the couple took their daughter home, Alexis’ continued to deteriorate.
“She was paranoid that something was wrong with our baby,”; Steven says.
“She knew that her wasn’t normal, and she wanted to seek help.
“We went to see a counsellor who diagnosed her with from the traumatic delivery, but she gave her counting exercises to help with her anxiety and told her to have hot showers.
“Nothing like that worked, and it got worse. She wasn’t sleeping and she was losing weight and kept telling me she was hearing voices.
“She told them that she wasn’t bonding with the baby. Eventually she was prescribed anti depressants.
“I told the doctors that I feared she would take her own life – one doctor even told me she wouldn’t, as she was .”;
When Adriana was only six weeks old the couple went to bed.
“That night I held her close and asked her to promise she wouldn’t do anything,”; Steven says.
“She said ‘I love you Pops,’ which was her nickname for me.”;
When Steven woke up the next morning, he could hear Adriana crying in the kitchen.
“Alexis wasn’t beside me,”; says Steven.
“I got up and went to the kitchen but she wasn’t there. I ran through the house, calling her name, getting more anxious by the second.
“She wasn’t anywhere in the house, so I ran down into the basement where the car was kept.
“She had taken her own life. She was only 33. I had lost my wife, and Adriana had lost her mum.”;
Numb with , Steven had to try to carry on being a dad to Adriana.
“I have watched her grow into a beautiful young girl,”; Steven says.
“She is now 11, and she is my world.”;
If I can save one life from doing this, then it will have been worth it
Steven D'Achille
Steven is now dedicated to raising awareness of mental health amongst pregnant women and mothers.
“I set up the Alexis Joy Foundation to try and spread awareness,”; he says.
“There should be much more support around mental health for mothers and pregnant women and Im making it my life’s mission to make that happen.
“I’m determined to make Alexis’s memory live on, and thats the legacy she has left behind – if I can save one life from doing this, then it will have been worth it.”;
Steven is committed to keeping Alexis’ memory alive with his daughter.
“I talk to Adriana about her beautiful mum all the time,”; he says.
“We have such a special bond, and our family are so close too.
“My triplet sister lives in the same street, so Adriana has all her cousins to play with. She loves dancing and makeup and I know Alexis would be so proud of her.
“PPD can happen to anyone and it’s no one’s fault. And it takes extreme courage to admit it’s a hard time, especially when there is a baby involved.
“We can’t go back from what happened to Alexis, but I can help change what happens next. After losing Alexis, I now want to save lives.”;
For more information about postpartum depression visit theNHS’s websiteor contact your GP.
Or you can call the National Childbirth Trust on 0300 330 0700 or visit their website:www.nct.org.uk/hiddenhalf
If you are in the US please contact the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline by calling or texting 1-833-9-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).
