Nothing can truly prepare you for what happens after your baby arrives. People warn you about sleepless nights, diaper changes, and feeding schedules, but they rarely discuss the changes you’ll experience in your body, emotions and sense of identity. When I had my children, both under the age of two, I went through what so many mothers silently face, but few ever talk about.
Isolation
You can be surrounded by people and still feel completely invisible. The loneliness creeps in slowly. It’s in the quiet moments, the middle-of-the-night feedings, the scrolling through social media, wondering if anyone sees what you’re going through.
Disconnection
You look in the mirror and barely recognise yourself. The stretch marks. The acne. The weight that just won’t come off. The arms that feel too big. You don’t just feel different, you feel like a stranger in your own skin. And deep down, you start to wonder. “Am I still beautiful? Do I still matter?”;; I’ve been there too.
Disunity
And then there’s the toll it takes on your relationships. You feel misunderstood. Unseen. Unsupported. Meanwhile, our partners are often just as lost, juggling their fears, pressures and sleepless nights, trying to keep it all together while watching the woman they love struggle silently. Yes, giving birth is a miracle. It’s one of the most sacred things a woman can ever experience. But once the celebration fades and the visitors leave, many moms are left with something no one warned them about:
You can be madly in love with your baby and still feel heartbroken over the woman-self you’ve lost. You can be grateful for motherhood and still grieve your old self. And it doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human. The world celebrates the baby, but who celebrates the mom? Who checks in on her heart? Her healing? Her body? Her identity?
But here’s what every mom needs to understand: This struggle isn’t just physical. It’s not just about your body. It’s a spiritual and emotional battleground. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:12, “We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers...”;; The enemy doesn’t just want to weigh you down with baby weight, he wants to silence you. To make you question your worth. To drive a wedge between you and your spouse. To distract you from the powerful, purpose-filled woman God still calls by name.
When there’s disunity, the enemy gains ground. But when there’s healing and restoration, heaven rejoices. Remember this, you are still her. The woman who dreams. The woman who loves deeply. The woman who was made for more than shame, silence and survival. You are not broken. You are becoming. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. You don’t have to stay stuck in the shadows of shame. There is healing, help and hope. Take the step, reach out, and reclaim the woman God created you to be. You are not lost. You are being reborn, too. Let’s remind each other: we’re not alone, and we’re still beautiful, inside and out. If you’re a mother reading this, know that you are not alone, and you are not forgotten. Your journey matters. Your healing matters. And every piece of you, even the ones that feel lost, is still worthy of love, grace and gentleness.
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Featured Image by Sora Shimazaki for Pexels
