THERE are four key questions to ponder when puzzled about whether your relationship will last.
But there is also an “unrealistic fantasy” you should avoid, said a relationship expert.
Jourdan Travers, a licensed clinical social worker, has shared her advice on the longevity of relationshipsCredit: Instagram / TherapyTipsYT
There is a lot of pressure on people to form a union and settle downCredit: Getty
A couples therapist explained her process to test the strength of relationships while speaking to Today .
One of the biggest uncertainties when two people fall in love is whether their union will last, the show said last April.
Jourdan Travers, a licensed clinical social worker based in Surf City, New Jersey, has created a short list of 4 questions to help find the answer:
FRIENDSHIP
If you weren’t a couple, would you still be close friends?
“Friendship is a part of being in a healthy relationship,” said Travers, who is a clinical director at Awake Therapy.
“If you’re friends with the person — if you liked them before deciding to become intimately involved with them — there’s a good chance that the relationship has a solid foundation.”
And if your answer is ‘no’ to this question, it’s possible you are basing your relationship on a “fantasy,” she added.
For example, if you started a relationship because of an overwhelming attraction – “chemistry/infatuation” – the “fantasy” is unlikely to last.
AT EASE
Do you like who you are when you’re around your partner?
The harsh reality is that, if the answer is ‘no’ you may not be with someone who truly cares about you.
For example, they may judge you – be pessimistic, disapproving or even indifferent.
“Healthy partners are helping you grow and kind of sculpting you into being a better version of yourself,” said Travers.
NO CHANGE
You’re stuck in the wrong relationship if you chose your partner with hopes of changing them.
“Some people have this faulty belief of, ‘I will just change them and mold them into being the perfect version of who I want them to be,’” Travers said.
That’s an unrealistic expectation, she advised.
SHARING
Who’s the first person you contact to share any earth-shatteringly good news?
Hopefully it’s your partner.
If not, is there a third person in the mix?
This is one of the biggest signs of a good relationship, Travers told Today.
Sharing positive personal news helps increase your bonds with your partner, she added.
RESULTS
For those fortunate people who said ‘yes’ to the above questions, the good news is that your relationship is on track to last the distance.
Don’t forget that it’s normal to face hurdles, however – life isn’t perfect.
Those who have answered ‘no’ to some or all of the questions need to think about the strength of their relationship.
“I wouldn’t say that definitively this is a major red flag sign you need to jump ship,” Travers said.
“Maybe you jumped into a relationship too soon and these are some areas you overlooked when making that decision.”
Will you enjoy a happy ever after?Credit: Getty Images
Eze Chidiebere Paul
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