Last night He Who Must Not Be Named returned from Walter Reed Medical Center, where he was being treated for coronavirus, via helicopter, trundled up the stairs to the White House balcony, took off his mask, and stood there huffing and puffing with all the effortless grace of Vincent D’Onofrio’s cockroach alien guy from Men in Black.
Patti LuPone took one look at that shit, and immediately screamed “Did it better!” The Broadway legend, who’s made her revulsion for the Orange Buffoon well known, compared the post-hospital display to the famous scene from Evita, where First Lady of Argentina Eva Perón stands on her balcony, near death, and addresses her adoring public with the ballad, “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”. Adoring public? LOL, he wishes.
Here’s Patti’s fuck you tweet:
I still have the lung power and I wore less makeup. This revival is closing November 3rd. pic.twitter.com/vRQ4LepACv
— Patti LuPone (@PattiLuPone) October 6, 2020
Soon the newly coined term “Covita” was trending on Twitter (God bless those cunning linguists):
— April (@ReignOfApril) October 6, 2020
— 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 (@Sundae_Gurl) October 6, 2020
In his 2004 book “Think like a Billionaire,” Trump said:
“My favorite Broadway show is Evita by Andrew Lloyd Webber, starring Patti LuPone. I saw it six times, mostly with Ivana. Evita is not on Broadway right now, but I’m hopeful that they’ll bring it back.” https://t.co/i8oWOkBjFJ
— Michiko Kakutani (@michikokakutani) October 6, 2020
I’m still waiting for Patti’s follow-up tweet to clarify that Cheeto Face is still not the worst Eva Perón she’s ever seen. Nope, that honor goes to “movie killer” Madonna. Patti iconically referred to Madge’s performance in the film version of Evita as “a piece of shit”, declaring, “she’s dead behind the eyes, she cannot act her way out of a paper bag, she should not be in film or onstage.” Hmmm, replace the pronouns and the words, “act”, “film”, and “onstage” with “lead”, “the White House”, and “allowed to breathe the same air as us”, and bing, bang, boom, you got another Trump burn. Oops, said his name! Another loonie in the swear jar.