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Tila Tequila Tried To Baptize Her Neighbor’s Children Against Their Grandmother’s Wishes

November 17, 2020 / Posted by: Emily You know, they say Madonna is the Queen of Reinvention, but I think Tila Tequila might have her beat. Girl went from MySpace celebrity to bisexual MTV reality star/“singer” to 21st century Nazi to Carrie’s batshit bible-thumping mama from Carrie. She now goes by the name “Tornado Thien” […] More
November 17, 2020 / Posted by: Emily

You know, they say Madonna is the Queen of Reinvention, but I think Tila Tequila might have her beat. Girl went from MySpace celebrity to bisexual MTV reality star/“singer” to 21st century Nazi to Carrie’s batshit bible-thumping mama from Carrie. She now goes by the name “Tornado Thien” and posts daily YouTube videos praying for Trump’s win, counting down to the rapture, and spouting general craziness and racism. It’s sad. And also scary. Tila recently posted a video entitled “I WAS ABOUT TO BAPTIZE 2 KIDS & THE DEVIL KIDNAPPED THEM!-Mark 9:42”.

In the video Tila’s actually the one doing the kidnapping. She lured the neighborhood children into her home with the promise of a bathtub baptism to “save them”. The kids’ grandmother shows up to actually save them, and she and Tila have words. What in the Lindsay Lohan Moscow kidnapping attempt hell?< !–more–>

Here’s the video:

Most of it takes place on Tila’s doorstep, where the grandma has come to collect her children. I guess she’s not cool with her grandkids getting baptized by the neighborhood Nazi. Tila does her Bible-rambling thing, and repeatedly calls this poor woman to the Devil. Granny’s having none of it. Around the 2:00 mark she says, “You can call me whatever you wanna, you crazy!”, and walks away. One of the children follows up with, “I’m scared” (me too, sweetie), and on their way out Tila tells them to come back later and not tell their grandmother. Jesus.

Tila goes back inside and shows off the full tub where she was gonna “save” the neighbor children. Then, at the very end of the video, we hear cute little baby noises, and it slowly dawns on the viewer that Tila’s youngest daughter, 2-year-old Annabelle, has been witness to this entire shit show. Are you there, God? It’s me, Social Services.

Pic: YouTube

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