After having initially encouraged Caitlyn Jenner’s bid to become governor of California in our now all but certain election to recall Gov. Gavin Newsom, noted crackpot and ardent Donald Trump supporter Randy Quaid has decided that he might throw his hat into the ring as well. And just like that, the three-ring circus has become a four-ring circus. And it’s teeming with lice. If Randy wins, I hope he trains them to do tricks!
Randy announced his interest in becoming governor in a tweet citing “prosecutorial corruption,” specifically in Santa Barbara where he and his wife Evi Quaid are still considered fugitives of the law after fleeing to Canada from the felony vandalism charges for squatting in the guesthouse of a house they once owned back in 2010. So safe to say, Randy has the needs of ALL Californians in mind. #Randy4All(RandysNamedQuaid)
I’m seriously considering running for governor. The prosecutorial corruption in California (esp Santa Barbara & the Bell scandal) is rampant; and I promise that if elected I will clean up the District Attorney Offices throughout the state. #RandyQuaid4CAGOV
— Randy Quaid (@RandyRRQuaid) April 27, 2021
Michael Jackson was/is black. I am white. We have both been fraudulently and maliciously prosecuted by the same DA office with no probable cause. They are not racist, they are malicious, vicious, and willfully incompetent!
— Randy Quaid (@RandyRRQuaid) April 27, 2021
Like Caitlyn before him, Randy was reminded that in California, DAs are elected, not appointed by the Governor. But I’m sure Randy knows what he’s doing. I mean, his logic and reasoning skills are obviously flawless. Fittingly, this is the tweet Randy has pinned to his profile. And no, he’s not talking about the last guy.
He . . . . is . . . . not . . . . qualified . . . . to . . . . be . . . . president.
— Randy Quaid (@RandyRRQuaid) March 25, 2021
Of course, Randy has about a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, but we said that about Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the 2003 recall election, and now his son-in-law is an Avenger. So I’ll temp the Gods no more. According to The Wrap, Randy probably isn’t eligible anyway due to his fugitive status.
It’s not clear whether or not Quaid would even be eligible to run for governor, as he is technically still considered a fugitive in the state of California due to unresolved legal issues stretching back more than a decade.
The Santa Barbara District Attorney’s Office vowed to continue its efforts to bring the couple to justice at the time but it is not clear what the current status of the case is.
In 2015, Randy and Evi were arrested in Vermont for sneaking over the border from Canada ahead of Randy being deported from there (Evi has Canadian citizenship). They were released in Vermont, though, because a judge found the Santa Barbara DA’s extradition papers lacking. TMZ adds that the case and warrants against him are still active. Blessedly, Gavin’s chances of remaining in office look good, at least according to the San Francisco Chronicle. Here’s how the recall election is shaping up now that the threshold for signatures has been met.
The Secretary of State’s Office reported Monday that organizers had submitted 1,626,042 valid signatures from California voters to recall Newsom, about 130,000 more than they need to qualify for the ballot. That number is likely to increase, as county election officials have until the end of the month to finish reviewing petitions and more than 136,000 signatures have yet to be checked.
The ballot would ask Californians two concurrent questions: Should Newsom be removed from office, and, if so, who should replace him?
Newsom could not run as a replacement candidate. If he is recalled by simple majority vote, the replacement candidate with the most votes would become governor, even if that person receives less than 50%. There would be no runoff between the top two candidates.
But Newsom seems well-positioned to survive the recall. Recent polling by the Public Policy Institute of California found that 53% of likely voters surveyed approved of Newsom — more than double then-Gov. Gray Davis’ popularity at a similar point before his recall in 2003.
So it’s likely that this entire clown show won’t amount to more than a ridiculously expensive exercise in vanity, posturing, and futility. But we as a country fucked around and found out once before when Trump was elected, so I’m going to be prepared for the day Gov. Quaid imposes a statewide tinfoil hat mandate. I’ve been collecting my burrito foils, and so far, I’ve fashioned a serviceable beanie and a cheeky beret — just in case.