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Hot Slut Of The Day!

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Shock Gum!

If you’re a permanently skeptical trick who suspiciously side-eyes absolutely everything and will say, “But is it?“, when someone says that the sky is blue, my guess is that your extreme trust issues are thanks to the fact that you fell for the shock gum prank and you’ve never been the same since! If your piece complains about you constantly checking their phone and trying to break into their Instagram to read their DMs, tell them to go yell at shock gum for electrocuting away your sense of trust!

Shock gum, as well as the equally torturous mousetrap gum, is still around to torture poor souls today. Shock gum was first invented by Lucifer (I’m guessing) in the 1950s, so it’s been giving trust issues to humans for decades. Shock gum is made up to look like popular brands of gum, such as Juicy Fruit and Doublemint. But if you pay attention (and who does?), you’d notice that it’s not a pack of gum, but a pack of PAIN (not really). When you ask someone if they want a piece of gum and they take your offer, they grab onto what they think is a foil-wrapped piece of gum and instead get a shock to the finger. Here it is at work:

Okay, so it wasn’t that painful, and just thinking about chewing on a ball of foil will cause you more pain than touching shock gum will. But still, they should be banned and declared illegal. Life is already shitty enough. We don’t need to get our hopes and dreams for fresh breath crushed by an electroshock to the finger. That just isn’t right!

Pic: Amazon

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