IS there a green-eyed monster sleeping in your bed?
The very person who should be cheering you on could be secretly envious of your success.
Over 70 per cent of women believe their success is intimidating to prospective partners, according to app Flirtini.
Couples therapist Susie Masterson reveals a jealous partner can wrongly believe their partner’s success takes away from their own.
She says: “It probably comes from not having enough validation and affirmations to feel OK about themselves when someone else is potentially doing perceivably better.”;
From dismissing your success to causing fights, Susie tells Katy Docherty the nine signs the could be seething with envy.
SNEAKY PUT DOWNS
One tactic a will use is taking you down a peg when you are being praised by others.
This can be outright criticism but more likely it is going to be passive aggressive or even framed as a joke.
Humour can be a stealth way to give a dismissive comment without being accused of bad behaviour.
For example, when a woman is complimented on her appearance, a jealous boyfriend might laugh: “you should see her at home!”;.
CAUSING A SCENE
When a green-eyed partner senses you are getting more attention than they are, they may cause an .
This isn’t to create a distraction but rather to remind their loved one of the importance of their .
It comes from a sense they are being forgotten about or left behind.
Being on the receiving end of this might make one partner reassess their priorities such as being less ambitious in their career.
CURBING YOUR ENTHUSIASM
When a toddler wants attention on them, they might fall over or start shouting: “look at me!”;.
As adults this behaviour is a lot more subtle.
It might manifest as changing the subject when a spouse is talking about some good they received.
Perhaps they will look at their or yawn as a partner tells them they have received a big promotion.
These are all ways to cut the amount of positive attention short.
ME ME ME
Ever noticed some people will always bring the subject back to themselves?
Sometimes when one half of a couple is in the limelight, the other may bring up their own achievements.
This might be dismissing any successes by saying: “been there, done that”;.
Or even complaining that they didn’t get as much praise when they did something similar.
They might even imply their accomplishments are only being praised because of their look, or gender or other characteristics.
REALITY BITES
Moaning about dirty dishes or how the dishwasher is stacked might not seem like a big deal.
But if it comes from a spouse after some good news or success, they could be trying to put you down.
It’s their way of saying: “OK, you might be getting lavished with compliments but don’t get too big for your boots”;.
It’s a hurtful way of bringing you back to reality with a bump.
HIDE AND SULK
One may be withdrawing and withholding.
This could be in a social setting or even at home.
If a usually sociable partner acts withdrawn at a gathering, it may be to get attention when everyone asks what’s wrong.
At home, perhaps they will isolate themselves in another room.
This forces their spouse to seek them out and check what’s wrong.
PLAYING AWAY
Many because they think their partner is going to do the same because they are doing so well in life.
This comes from a place of insecurity.
They want to be reassured that they are just as important, but don’t believe they can be.
As a result they make outright accusations like: “you’re cheating on me”;.
Instead of dealing with the problem they will do the deed first to protect themselves.
LASHING OUT
While some signs of jealousy are not so obvious, some are pretty blatant.
Envy may cause some to unleash the contemptuous, condescending language and berate their spouse.
I call this behaviour the mini professor – much like a child part of us pretending to be an adult.
They will put the other person down.
This is an attempt to reduce the power they perceive their other half has.
HEAPING ON PRAISE
A rarer reaction to jealousy is fawning over your partner.
This type of response may stem from childhood or teenage years when we learn how to relate and form responses.
Perhaps in some instances a started , dressing better and then met a new partner, leaving their behind.
When the grown up version of this child sees their partner doing well they might fear history could repeat itself.
By making themselves as appealing as possible they are hoping they will convince them of their worth.
