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Night Crumbs

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My thoughts about the teaser trailer for Cinderella starring Camila Cabello are best expressed through this screenshot of her fairy godmother (played by Billy Porter) obviously widening his eyes at the lower-than-Lifetime-budget, Camila’s whiny warbling, and the overall awfulness of it all. It looks like such a turd that even Billy Porter’s fairy godmother can’t turn it into a jewel. I mean, if Billy Porter in some giant bedazzled orange foreskin can’t save your movie, nothing can! – Just Jared

If rainbows don’t naturally fly out of your coochie, then Rihanna has you covered with Fenty x Savage’s Pride chonies – Lainey Gossip

Venice better prepare for a Portland-like heatwave to hit them when Jamie Lee Curtis brings her hotness and glamour to the Venice Film Festival where she’ll be honored with a Golden Lion – Pajiba

Ed Sheeran keeps ordering gimp masks from the Alexa at his BFF Courteney Cox’s house as a prank. And yeah, that’s annoying, but it could be worse, he could ask Alexa to play his song I Don’t Care – Celebitchy

The dude who created the Nyan Cat meme sold it for $590,000, which probably made Spaghetti Cat and Ceiling Cat throw “Really, for that?!” side-eyes – OMG Blog

Dear makers of KY Jelly, prepare for your stock to plummet, because middle-aged ladies everywhere will get the natural wets from seeing Donny Osmond deliver sweet dad moves in his new music video – SOW

Let’s check in on Andy Dick, shall we?! Oh, he was arrested over the weekend for allegedly attacking his ex-lovah Lucas Crawford, and his fiancee Elisa Jordana spilled it all on her YouTube show? Yup, sounds about right – Page Six

Power bottoms of the world, raise up a Fleet for proud power bottom Lil Nas X – Boy Culture

Got some extra face masks lying around? Take a tip from Madison “Not A Wisconsin Brewery” Beer and make an elegant top with them! – Popoholic

Pic: Amazon Prime