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John Mayer Says He Cares A “Great Deal” For Cazzie David

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Looks like John Mayer’s “David Duke cock” may have softened over the years. According to E!, John’s Johnson might currently be pointed towards Cazzie David, a nice Jewish girl, and Larry David’s daughter. Cazzie recently celebrated her 27th birthday which John commemorated with a post in his Instagram Stories saying “I care for you a great deal!” which might help explain why, despite the bravado, John claims to have only slept with six women. Not at a time. Ever! Which, if true, makes him a safer bet, crabs wise, than Cazzie’s ex Pete Davidson so, growth?

E! reports that John and Cazzie have known each other “for a number of years.” I wonder if he was a shoulder to cry on for her when her nepotism enabled book No One Asked For This, particularly the essay titled Too Full To Fuck, was being mercilessly eviscerated online.

Among the people giving birthday shout-outs to Cazzie David this year is a certain musician who is saying what he needs to say.

John posted a photo to his Instagram Story of Cazzie and a canine pal playing catch in front of a beautiful mountain setting. “Happy birthday @cazziedavid,” the 43-year-old “Say” singer captioned the idyllic shot. “I care for you a great deal! Enjoy your special day.”

Cazzie didn’t publicly respond to the message but reposted it to her own Story. It was but one note among a deluge of friends’ greetings and gifts she shared to her Story, including a card from The Umbrella Academy star Elliot Page.

Here’s John’s B-Day post. Can we talk for just a second about the weird schmaltzy caption? Who is this dude? I know John said he hadn’t “been a dick in many years” but presumably he still has one. Maybe not. If I had a David Duke peen, I’d murder it with my bare hands. Just really choke the shit out of it.

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Good to know Hallmark is keeping up with the times. That’s some big auntie energy. Frankly, I wouldn’t read too much into this story. John seems particularly fond of posting happy birthday wishes on Instagram. So unless he’s also simultaneously fucking Barbra Streisand AND Herbie Hancock, Cazzie’s not that special. Still, here’s a couple of #Cazzie+John4Eva photos I found on Instagram.

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John also helped Cazzie with some book merch back in January according to this Instagram post.

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A post shared by Cazzie David (@cazziedavid)

I guess we’ll find out if they are or aren’t in Cazzie’s inevitable second book, probably called something like What, Me Worry? (My Dad’s Super Famous).

Pics: Instagram