The reckless, back-alley rage-hump between Cruella de Vil and a busted fire ant, Giuliana Rancic, is packing up her glittery kit bag of shifty, filterless bleats and leaving the E! red carpet for greener pastures at NBCUniversal for what sounds like fuckery behind the camera this time.
I didn’t know until just now that the tight little struggle tufts of a trash-trodden carpet could cry tears of joy, or that Zendaya‘s hair was prone to dancing fluttery little pirouettes when it was happy, but here we are. According to People, Giuliana loves to tell stories that aren’t centered in half-assed damage control. Who knew?
Just a few months after we all found that Ryan Seacrest was done terrorizing the red carpet for E!, Giuliana made the same announcement. via People:
“After 20 fabulous years hosting E!’s red carpet, I have decided to step out of my red carpet heels into a new pair of shoes,” she wrote in a statement on social media on Friday.
The TV host, 46, said that she has signed a development deal with NBCUniversal, teasing more projects to come in the future.
“One of my passions is great storytelling and I am thrilled to announce a new development deal with E!’s parent company NBCUniversal where I will be producing and bringing stories to life.”
Here is Giuliana’s full, gushing statement regarding her departure, while artfully draped in a mangled bedsheet from the sale rack at Target:
I was clueless that NBCUniversal was E!’s parent company, and this is starting to fill me and maybe you and a certain luscious head of hair with an acidic little gurgle of dread, as it seems far too easy for Giuliana to shuffle her parched and crispy bug corpse back to red carpet duties at any time. It’s also not the first time she has left E! in one capacity or another, so let’s just brace ourselves now for whatever Satan has in store for us on this front.