Newcastle move into the top half of the table as a result of that. They’re tenth, on 14 points, one ahead of Palace, who slip to 13th. A fine smash-and-grab goal by Callum Wilson, followed by a weight-off strike for Joelinton, and Newcastle have a victory they just about deserved on the balance of play, though Palace will point to a couple of late near misses just before Wilson pounced. A lot of that was hard going, though. Creativity is a struggle for these sides at the moment.
FULL TIME: Crystal Palace 0-2 Newcastle United
A terrible match for the most part, but Newcastle came good at the end of it, Joelinton finally paying back a chunk of change from the transfer fee that’s been weighing him down. He walks off with a huge smile on his face, and he’ll deserve all the plaudits he’ll get for a fine performance.
90 min +3: Joelinton, having scored his third career goal for Newcastle tonight, is replaced by Schar.
90 min +1: Joelinton deserved that stroke of luck. He’s played well from the get-go tonight, and his contribution to Wilson’s goal was superb.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 Newcastle United (Joelinton 90)
Joelinton dribbles down the inside-right channel. He drops a shoulder to send Dann the wrong way, then shoots towards the bottom left. The ball takes a nick off Cahill, and pings into the bottom right past a wrong-footed Guaita. Two goals in 100 seconds!Newcastle’s Joelinton slots in the second. Photograph: Andrew Coludridge/AP
Updated at 4.53pm EST
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Newcastle United (Wilson 88)
This is a fantastic goal. From the throw, Wilson and Joelinton combine cutely down the right. Joelinton slips a pass down the channel for his team-mate, a balletic hook, and Wilson is clear! He enters the box and slips the ball under Guaita. Newcastle have snatched it!Newcastle United’s Callum Wilson slips the ball under Guaita to score the opening goal. Photograph: Richard Pelham/NMC Pool
Updated at 4.54pm EST
87 min: Newcastle take their sweet time over a throw. Looks like they’ve settled for a point. Eh, hold on, scrub that …
85 min: Palace are suddenly knocking at the door. Van Aanholt takes a stride into the Newcastle box on the left and fires a low cross-cum-shot towards the bottom right. Batshuayi slides in, and is an inch or so away from studding home. But he can’t connect. Another big escape for Newcastle.
84 min: A Palace ball down the middle. Batshuayi chests down for Kouyate, who twists to the left of goal and hammers low towards the near post. Fernandez comes across to block bravely, his last-ditch intervention saving a certain goal. Nothing comes of the corner.
83 min: A melee on the edge of the Palace box. Joelinton momentarily looks well placed to power a shot away, but he can’t sort his feet out and he’s closed down.
81 min: Yes, this is opening up at last. A Newcastle corner on the right. Ritchie takes, the ball somehow squeaking through a crowded penalty box and into the arms of Guaita, without taking a deflection off anyone.
80 min: Van Aanholt swings one into the Toon box from the left. Benteke heads down powerfully towards the bottom left, Darlow blocking well. Great football all round.
79 min: Ritchie takes instead. He powers the free kick through a gap in the wall, but it’s straight at Guaita, who can parry then gather. A shame that Longstaff wasn’t rewarded for his positivity.
78 min: So having said that, Longstaff embarks on a marvellous run down the middle of the park. Maradonaesque? Well, that’d be stretching the point, but it was a fine, powerful sashay, and he draws a foul on the edge of the D from Dann, who is booked. A moment of quality amid the dross. Shelvey’s eyes light up again!
76 min: “Sounds more like a Terry Fenwick type of game than a Maradona one,” begins Simon McMahon, who is not wrong. “Regarding 1986, I seem to remember that, had Scotland not been so clueless for 89 minutes against the ten men of Uruguay in their final group match, Argentina would have faced us in the round of 16 instead of their South American neighbours. Resulting of course in them being knocked out of the competition and thus denying the entire world not only the Hand of God but also the greatest goal ever scored. Selfless, us Scots. Selfless. You’re welcome, world!”
75 min: McArthur dances down the left and earns Palace’s sixth corner of the game. The joy of six? Nope.
73 min: Benteke bustles down the left but can only send a poor cross-cum-shot through the Newcastle box.
72 min: Ritchie whips a cross in from the left. It’s more than decent, and Joelinton is in space in the middle, the ball dropping his way. But the misfiring striker times his leap poorly, and barely connects with an eyebrow. Andy Carroll has been waiting for months and months for a cross like that.Newcastle United’s Joelinton on the floor after missing a chance. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Reuters
Updated at 4.37pm EST
69 min: A sense that things may be opening up at long last. This time it’s Palace’s turn to send a header wide, Benteke doing so from Van Aanholt’s high left-wing cross.
68 min: Newcastle make their first change, sending on Ritchie in place of the ever-disappointing Almiron.
67 min: Newcastle go close! Manquillo crosses from the right. Wilson loops a header towards the top left. For a second, it looks like dropping in, with Guaita never reaching it. However the ball sails a few inches wide. As close as anyone’s come, which is not saying much, but here we are.
66 min: This has been awful. Something has to change. So Hodgson sends on Benteke and Riedewald at the expense of Ayew and Townsend.
65 min: Palace have had 56 percent possession in this second half. Not that Mr Roy will care. It’s all about what happens in the final third, and what happens in the final third is this: Kouyate shanks a harmless shot wide right.
63 min: Van Aanholt attempts a cross from the left touchline. It balloons off Manquillo and out for a corner. Townsend takes. After a quick game of pinball, Eze tries a Le Tissieresque volley, but slices spectacularly towards the right-hand corner flag. Goal kick.
59 min: Eze whistles down the inside-right channel and is clipped from behind by Longstaff, who got both ball and man. The Newcastle man goes into the book. Free kick, just to the right of the D.
57 min: Almiron drives towards the Palace box. Space opens up in front of him. He really should have a dig from the edge of the area, but unselfishly rolls towards Joelinton to his right. The pass is awful, Joelinton can’t adjust his feet, and Palace are able to swarm and clear. Guaita should have been put to work there.
56 min: Shelvey wallops witlessly into the wall. Artistically and philosophically consistent with the rest of this match, if nothing else.
55 min: Joelinton is clumsily brought down by McArthur as he bustles down the inside left. A free kick in a dangerous position, just outside the Palace box. Shelvey’s eyes light up.
54 min: Schlupp spins down the right and slides a diagonal pass infield for Ayew, who enters the box and toe-pokes past Darlow … but wide of the left-hand post.
52 min: Suddenly a little excitement as Ayew dinks a pass down the left for Schlupp, who dribbles hard and eventually earns a corner. Townsend swings it in. Kouyate goes up and heads over. He might have been better off leaving that for Cahill, just behind him.Crystal Palace’s Gary Cahill reacts after a missed chance. Photograph: Clive Rose/Getty Images
Updated at 4.13pm EST
50 min: The half-time team talks must have been as uninspiring as the football.
48 min: Otherwise, it’s been a nondescript start to the second half.
Updated at 4.08pm EST
46 min: A little bit of space for Schlupp down the left. He whips to the near post but it’s an easy gather for Darlow.
Palace get the ball rolling again. Neither side has made a change. Perhaps the electronic board has given the fourth official an 6085 error code.
HALF TIME: Crystal Palace 0-0 Newcastle United
Palace and Newcastle aren’t the only ones experiencing technical difficulties tonight: apparently many viewers haven’t been able to log into the television coverage of this match. Amazon Prime have arguably done them a favour.
45 min: This has been an extremely low-quality half of football. Thankfully there will be only one minute added to it, after which both teams have 15 to work out ways to improve.
44 min: Van Aanholt curls from the left; Schlupp guides a header into the top-left of the stand. In the dugout, Christian Benteke looks on, and must wonder what happened to his career.
43 min: Shelvey nearly finds Wilson on the edge of the Palace box with a simple pass down the middle. Dann intercepts, then inexplicably rolls the ball straight to Joelinton, who fires towards the bottom right. The shot is neither accurate nor fierce enough, and it’s an easy gather for Guaita.Palace’s Natahniel Clyne holds off Joelinton. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian
Updated at 4.05pm EST
41 min: Newcastle snaffle the loose ball, though, and Lewis opens his body, attempting a curler towards the top right. Guaita claims, but that was a decent effort from the young left-back.