Goddammit, my eye holes are leaking over this story. As we all know, Queen Cher is an octuple threat – singer, actress, natural beauty, LGBTQIA+ icon, patriot, thief, wordsmith, and crimefighter. But did you know that the 74-year-old legend is also an elephant activist? In the past she’s (unsuccessfully) fought for Billy the Elephant’s transfer from the L.A. Zoo. More recently she campaigned for Kavaan’s release from a neglectful zoo in Pakistan. And this time, success! Kavaan, also known as “the world’s loneliest elephant” has been moved to a Cambodian sanctuary.
Kavaan lived at Marghazar Zoo for 35 years. His partner died in 2012, and due to neglectful treatment, he suffers from malnourishment, behavioral problems (like shaking his head back and forth for hours out of boredom), and physical problems such as obesity and cracked, overgrown nails. The global animal welfare group, Four Paws International, has fought for Kavaan since 2016, and Cher has been a loud advocate for his resettlement. Because of the zoo’s abysmal conditions, it was finally shut down in May, and plans were made to move Kavaan to a Cambodian sanctuary. At his new home, Kavaan will receive extensive physical and psychological treatment. He’ll also get to spend time with some brand new elephant friends! Hell, Kavaan may even get himself a girlfriend.
Cher actually flew to Cambodia for Kaavan’s big move. She was seen at the airport welcoming him with a white rose, and serenaded him with Cinderella’s “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes”. And because she couldn’t bring her 2-ton autotune machines on the plane, she performed 100% a capella:
Here’s the full clip of the singing, in which our humble goddess follows up her song with, “Well, what do you think? It wasn’t very good, I have to say. I did my best.”
— ᥴꪖ᥅ꪗꪶꪗꪀꪀ 🕊️ I 💜 CHER 🐘#CherCrew OG (@Cjones554) November 30, 2020
On Twitter, fans pointed out the obvious: why is Cher traveling during a pandemic? She responded with:
I thought long & Hard about going out into Covid🌏,But Kaavan’s Freedom was a Promise I Made .On My Site I Say “Stand & Be Counted,Or Sit & Be Nothing”WE ALL STOOD & WE WERE COUNTED & KAAVAN WILL BE FREE🐘🙏🏻
— Cher (@cher) November 30, 2020
Hey, give Cher a break. Bringing international exposure to poor Kaavan’s journey is infinitely more honorable than traveling halfway across the world for your fortieth birthday. She also plugged the upcoming documentary about Kaavan’s journey:
🐘Kaavan’s journey to freedom from captivity in Islamabad to Cambodia will be a 2021 @SmithsonianChan documentary ❤️ Help us build Kaavan’s forever home 🏡 https://t.co/dzdl4Ew4gn 🙏🏻@ftwglobal #KaavansJourney pic.twitter.com/iTxdzfndNB
— Cher (@cher) November 27, 2020
I’m sorry, Cher, I support your cause, but there is no way in hell I’ll watch that documentary. There aren’t enough tissues in the world. And I’m still not over Blackfish.